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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to have minimal contact with my cousin?

3 replies

PigeonPied · 10/07/2021 15:26

My cousin has two children. (Another due in a few months)One with his current partner and one with his previous partner. He's practically abandoned his first child(7 years old) in favour of the newer child(3 years old). He seems them just two or three times a year. It's recently emerged that some of the information he told us about his ex and first child is complete nonsense and it's him who isn't making the effort.

His ex could be difficult(From experience) as can he and they were both pretty young when the baby arrived and spent more time taking shots(metaphorical) at each other than doing what was best for the baby but his ex seems to have matured a lot and is a great mother now. Unfortunately he seems to be focused almost solely on his second child. And the one that's on the way.

AIBU to not want to have much contact with someone who drops their first child in favour of the second? It will be awkward as we've a large extended family but I find it sickening that he cares so little for his first. The only other trouble is that I don't want to alienate his other children because it isn't their fault that their Father is a selfish twat.

OP posts:
PigeonPied · 10/07/2021 15:40

P.S I am going to tell him the reason for minimising contact though I know it won't go down well.

OP posts:
ahoyshipmates · 10/07/2021 15:51

Don't bother saying anything, it's not worth it. All he will do is twist your words and stir up trouble among the relatives.

Just steer clear of him at family events. It's not hard - I have a SIL who I avoid like the plague and it is really quite easy to ignore someone even if they are sitting across from you at a table. I am polite when necessary and that's it.

PigeonPied · 10/07/2021 18:59

I guess that might be the best approach. If he asks I'll have to be honest though. I can't understand how he can ignore his eldest child like this.

OP posts:
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