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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I in the wrong

31 replies

muvaa · 10/07/2021 08:26

He's giving me the silent treatment because last night as we were leaving MIL's house with our baby his friend put his arm out for a side hug and I gave the side hug, he was pissed since then and is just being horrible and now I feel bad about it.

OP posts:
pontiouspilates · 10/07/2021 08:29

You are not in the wrong. This is all about him. Is he also pissed with his friend? I bet not. Please don't put up with this, I am sure that this will escalate if you do.

Theunamedcat · 10/07/2021 08:34

Wtf is he giving YOU the silent treatment for? Manners?

DoctorStrangeness · 10/07/2021 08:37

Giving the 'silent treatment' is an immature, pathetic and abusive response from a partner, especially for such a non-event.

Is he a dickhead in other ways?

TheFoundations · 10/07/2021 08:39

Do you think you're in the wrong, OP? What's your opinion on what you did?

SillyLittleBiscuit · 10/07/2021 08:41

Of course you’re not wrong. It’s just a hug. Beside the point but would he have preferred it if you blanked his mate? That’d be awkward.

PoliteNotice · 10/07/2021 08:42

Oh OP. This reminds me of my abusive ex. I was screamed at and pinned to a wall once and then ignored for about a week because at a friend's birthday party someone tried to make polite conversation with me and asked what my name was and I answered, in full view of everyone with absolutely no flirting or anything. Apparently I should have ignored them.

You did nothing wrong. He is the problem.

Funnylittlefloozie · 10/07/2021 08:44

Whats his problem with giving people a hug? COVID aside, is hugging someone you've just visited socially the same as cheating? I am screwed then, I hug everyone.

Hopdathelf · 10/07/2021 08:46

What’s a side hug? And what’s his issue with it?

Original poster
muvaa · 10/07/2021 08:56

@TheFoundations

Do you think you're in the wrong, OP? What's your opinion on what you did?
I didn't originally think I was in the wrong but the way he's going about it is making me think I am
OP posts:
TidyDancer · 10/07/2021 08:56

You know you're not wrong. I have zero doubt this is the tip of the iceberg.

Tal45 · 10/07/2021 08:57

Giving you the silent treatment is what 12 year olds do. Tell him to grow up and talk about exactly what his problem is - because it is his problem.

Cloudninenine · 10/07/2021 08:59

He’s a cunt. You did nothing wrong, and silent treatment is a form of abuse.

TheFoundations · 10/07/2021 10:27

@muvaa

I didn't originally think I was in the wrong but the way he's going about it is making me think I am

So what he thinks is more valid than what you think?

EKGEMS · 10/07/2021 21:26

He certainly sounds abusive-pretty sure he's abusive in many other ways

MouldyPotato · 10/07/2021 21:29

No OP, you've done nothing wrong. He has by trying to make you think you have.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 10/07/2021 21:33

Unless a side hug is a euphemism for a shag he is being ridiculous....
Please don't accept this is the way your life has to be.. He is abusing you op. The silent treatment is a recognised sign of abuse..

xprincessxjanetx · 10/07/2021 21:34

He's being immature and needs to grow up. You did nothing wrong.

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 10/07/2021 21:47

Is the issue covid related? Was he worried about close contact for that reason?
If not it sounds like domestic abuse.

PoptartPoptart · 10/07/2021 21:52

”I didn't originally think I was in the wrong but the way he's going about it is making me think I am”
This is a major red flag op.
It’s emotionally controlling behaviour.
Please think long and hard about the future of this relationship.

DontDoThatGeorge · 10/07/2021 21:53

No.

He sounds like a twat.

What else does he do? Does he make you happy?

Babygotblueyes · 10/07/2021 22:05

Silent treatment is immature and ridiculous. You didnt do anything wrong in the first place, and his behaviour is totally out of line.

CassandraTrotter · 10/07/2021 22:08

Silent treatment is abusive behaviour.

Cherrysoup · 10/07/2021 22:10

In what other ways does he try to control you? How can you love/respect him when he treats you so extremely poorly?

Glitterblue · 10/07/2021 22:12

He is being ridiculous. DH's best friend hugs me every time we see him.

IamnotSethRogan · 10/07/2021 22:12

He is a piece of shit