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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wfh today but not actually working

87 replies

AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 11:57

I'm supposed to be working from home today, but I was up most of the night with a nasty gallbladder attack (currently awaiting surgery). I am much better than I was last night but still feeling pretty rough.

I tried to do some work this morning but couldn't really focus so I'm now lying on my bed hoping that I'll feel better soon. There is nothing that needs to be done today and I will make up the hours over the weekend. I'll also try again this afternoon if I feel up to it.

DH thinks I should have phoned in sick, but I don't feel that I need to because I will definitely do the hours tomorrow or Sunday. I will keep an eye out for any urgent emails and answer the phone if anyone rings.

So AIBU to rest today without calling in sick as long as the work actually gets done by Monday?

OP posts:
JeansShirtJeansJacket · 09/07/2021 13:28

It's fine.

You aren't missing deadlines, you aren't letting anyone down, and you are creating work for other people. You will make it up over the weekend.

Worrying about this purely "in principle" is absurd presenteeism which benefits no one.

Hope you feel better soon OP. Gallbladder pain is fucking awful, you have my sympathy.

JeansShirtJeansJacket · 09/07/2021 13:29

*you Aren't creating work for other people!

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 13:30

Worrying about this purely "in principle" is absurd presenteeism which benefits no one.

Thanks @JeansShirtJeansJacket, I think that's exactly what I needed to hear.

OP posts:
ThatsNotMyReindeer · 09/07/2021 13:31

As a manager, my stance would be that you're either too sick to work (including the urgent stuff) or you aren't.

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 13:35

@ThatsNotMyReindeer

As a manager, my stance would be that you're either too sick to work (including the urgent stuff) or you aren't.
Yeah, I get that. I've taken the same stance with people previously, but that has been in situations where the urgent stuff could be escalated to someone else in an employee's absence. There is nobody to escalate to if I'm not there, so unless I'm unconscious or close to it, I'd rather be available if needed. They haven't actually contacted me with anything thankfully.
OP posts:
mygood · 09/07/2021 13:36

Surely this a win win situation. You get to recover today. Your employer isnt having to manage sickness and the work gets done by Monday. Simple.
I agree with you OP , no need to to have it recorded etc just for bureaucracy & red tape.
I dont understand anyone saying yabu????

LondonLife3 · 09/07/2021 13:36

I feel your pain!!! I finally had a surgery date for 17th of July but tested positive for COVID on Monday so it’s move back now (Gutted)
I have to catch up on work if I have a really bad day, I usually end up doing a bit extra even!

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 13:37

@LondonLife3

I feel your pain!!! I finally had a surgery date for 17th of July but tested positive for COVID on Monday so it’s move back now (Gutted) I have to catch up on work if I have a really bad day, I usually end up doing a bit extra even!
So sorry to hear that your date had to be moved. That's gutting.
OP posts:
Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 13:39

@mygood

Surely this a win win situation. You get to recover today. Your employer isnt having to manage sickness and the work gets done by Monday. Simple. I agree with you OP , no need to to have it recorded etc just for bureaucracy & red tape. I dont understand anyone saying yabu????
I'm struggling to understand it too, @mygood, but there are clearly a substantial number of people who agree with my DH.

I'm glad that the majority think I'm not being unreasonable though. I certainly wouldn't want to take the piss just because I can.

OP posts:
TellySavalashairbrush · 09/07/2021 13:40

Good lord no!
You are unwell, but still checking on emails etc. Why on earth call in sick if you are all up to date with work? Unfortunately, you may have another attack which could be even worse and require you to take time off properly. Well done for suggesting you will work over the weekend instead. Wish some of my colleagues had your attitude. Caught the big boss of our company having a KFC with her kids yesterday afternoon. She had told us all she was in a meeting and was not to be disturbed Hmm

Looubylou · 09/07/2021 13:41

I could of written this today!! Except I've had no choice but to log into meetings. YANBU However, I wouldn't make a habit of it, as if you are poorly again over the weekend, or some drama happens, you would have some explaining to do when work not done. My acute attacks last 10 - 12 hours then I feel sick and have general abdo pain for another 8 hours or so. I have had weeks where I've multiple attacks, and felt ill all week, just be aware of this. It used to magically disappear after the initial 10 hours or so, and apart from lack of sleep I'd function normally next day. I hope you get sorted soon. It has to be experienced to be appreciated. 🤞

mygood · 09/07/2021 13:42

well you would only be taking the piss outta yourself by the sounds of it because its you who'll be picking up your own slack by the sounds of it!!

hope your DH doesn't harp on about it to much and can give you some tlc instead x

Beendownthisroadmorethantwice · 09/07/2021 13:43

I own my own company and if I’m sick I do tend to tell my team. While I’m flexible if a team member did this without telling me I’d be pissed off - though if they told me I’d be “fine - whatever”

I suppose you’re more in my position though so I’d say do what you like.

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 13:48

@Looubylou

I could of written this today!! Except I've had no choice but to log into meetings. YANBU However, I wouldn't make a habit of it, as if you are poorly again over the weekend, or some drama happens, you would have some explaining to do when work not done. My acute attacks last 10 - 12 hours then I feel sick and have general abdo pain for another 8 hours or so. I have had weeks where I've multiple attacks, and felt ill all week, just be aware of this. It used to magically disappear after the initial 10 hours or so, and apart from lack of sleep I'd function normally next day. I hope you get sorted soon. It has to be experienced to be appreciated. 🤞
Thanks @Looubylou. Multiple attacks in a week sounds horrendous. Sad

I have only had a few attacks previously, but they did used to disappear after 10 hours or so, occasionally even faster. This time, the acute pain has gone but I still have some niggling abdominal pain today. I hope that this isn't how things are going to be from now on. Just hope that I can get the operation soon!

OP posts:
Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 13:48

well you would only be taking the piss outta yourself by the sounds of it because its you who'll be picking up your own slack by the sounds of it!!

Yes, exactly!

OP posts:
Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 13:49

@TellySavalashairbrush

Good lord no! You are unwell, but still checking on emails etc. Why on earth call in sick if you are all up to date with work? Unfortunately, you may have another attack which could be even worse and require you to take time off properly. Well done for suggesting you will work over the weekend instead. Wish some of my colleagues had your attitude. Caught the big boss of our company having a KFC with her kids yesterday afternoon. She had told us all she was in a meeting and was not to be disturbed Hmm
Now going to KFC really is taking the piss!
OP posts:
Viviennemary · 09/07/2021 13:50

No you can't do that without permission.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 09/07/2021 13:58

I'm the boss so there isn't actually anyone else who would make this decision anyway

That's quite the drip-feed 🙄

Viviennemary · 09/07/2021 13:59
Confused
Wheelz46 · 09/07/2021 14:00

I don't think you are being unreasonable if you are able to make the hours up without any consequences.

Although, my employer would not agree to this and would mark us down as sick. It is in our company policy that if you are absent from work due to illness whether working from home or in the office, you will be marked as sick.

Personally, if it doesn't affect the company or workload or any deadlines, I can't see an issue.

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 14:00

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

I'm the boss so there isn't actually anyone else who would make this decision anyway

That's quite the drip-feed 🙄

Sorry, I didn't intend to drip feed as I know it's annoying. My DH thinks it's an abuse of my position, so I wanted to know what people thought in general, but realised after posting that I couldn't avoid all of the comments about talking to my manager. My mistake.
OP posts:
Cloudninenine · 09/07/2021 14:00

Don’t see any issue with this at all.

So sorry about your gallbladder - it’s the most vicious pain. I had mine removed earlier this year and it has improved my life tenfold. Hopefully you’ll get yours out soon Flowers

bumblingbovine49 · 09/07/2021 14:01

I will tell DH that he is bonkers and hopefully he'll take it on board!

Excellent, I imagine he will be grateful for the insightful diagnosis from a stranger on the internet . Tell him no charge for the advice. GrinGrin

IntermittentParps · 09/07/2021 14:03

I think your decision is a well-informed and pragmatic one and your DH is a bit of a prig (sorry, I know you love him, I don't mean it that harshly…).

Original poster
AlexaShutUp · 09/07/2021 14:09

@IntermittentParps

I think your decision is a well-informed and pragmatic one and your DH is a bit of a prig (sorry, I know you love him, I don't mean it that harshly…).
Made me smile. Smile

@bumblingbovine49, DH has just come in to check on me and says thank you for the free advice. Grin

OP posts: