When I returned to work after my maternity leave I could only work 16 hours due to childcare issues. My husband never offered to help out financially so I could earn more money (i.e. nursery fees, etc) but to be fair I didn’t ask him as I knew he had previous debt and was in his overdraft. I had some savings at the time so I just left it. I switched to a zero hour contract as I could work it around my son’s childcare (I’d pick up shifts on days his grandparents could care for him). We were better off for a while but then COVID-19 happened and my parents had to shield due to my dad’s cancer. And my mother-in-law also works with vulnerable people so free childcare was off the table! My hours reverted to 16 hours a week and by the time I accounted for food, transport, etc, I was earning no more than I’d get on Universal Credit! Plus me and hubby never saw each other. We both agreed I’d be a stay-at-home mum again so I sold the car I’d recently bought and things settled down.
This is where I’m becoming frustrated! I receive £650 a month from Universal Credit and child allowance. My husband is literally on twice that amount (sometimes more if he picks up extra hours!) The rent comes out of his account plus TV license and Broadband. I pay council tax, gas, electricity, food, and any clothes etc my son needs! I no longer have a car and my husband doesn’t want me on his insurance whilst I’m taking Mirtazapine as it makes me drowsy which is fair enough, I completely understand that! I am worried about driving on this drug! The problem is I live in a very rural area and if I need to go to the launderette, etc, or take my boy out places, I have to completely rely on my husband or someone else. My son was sick the other day and our washing machine broke down, I had no-one to take me to the launderette. I managed to fix it eventually but by the time I got around to washing everything, some of the stuff got moldy and I had to chuck it out! We have no tumble drier and I had no way of getting to the launderette (my mum was away) so I had bags of wet stuff and my friend picked it up and dried it at her place! Anyway, I asked my husband if we could install an extra socket in the dining room (around £100) then buy a tumble drier the following month, and his answer was that it’s basically too expensive. We also need to replace the lawnmower and buy new curtain rails as it’s practically held together with ‘No More Nails’ and I’m always scared it’ll collapse on top of DS head, but everything is “too expensive” and “we can’t afford it” is always the answer!
Anyway, DH came home the other day with a new bike he’d paid a few hundred quid for on Facebook Marketplace. Then he bought a Fitbit watch and cycling shoes because he’s decided to start doing triathlons! I was seething! I can’t go in the garden because it’s so overgrown and full of weeds and apparently we “can’t afford” a gardener or lawnmower. We have no curtains in our living room, just broken and tatty blinds! We have no shower curtains or rails so I can only take baths (that’s another thing he won’t pay for) and there’s no socket to install a tumble drier in the dining room so all our clothes are hanging off clothes horses, doors, etc. I’m so fed up!