Worried about boyfriend

[MalfunctioningRobot]

My boyfriend is quite overweight, has a sedentary job and works nights. His work pattern is supposed to be 4 on, 4 off but it’s more likely he’s doing 6 on and 2 off due to staff issues.

I’ve noticed recently that when he’s just resting his breathing doesn’t sound great. It’s kind of grunting/laboured breathing. I’m starting to get worried about his health but I don’t know how to bring it up to him. He’s an ex smoker, switched to vaping around a year ago.

I’ve tried buying in more healthy food for the house but he doesn’t touch it, his diet is about 90% beige/fast food. I’ve tried asking him to go for walks with me but with his work schedule that’s often not possible. His days off are catching up on sleep and getting ready for his next shifts to begin.

I don’t want him to think I’m not attracted to him by bringing up weight issues, he’s always been overweight ever since we met and I’ve always fancied him like crazy. I want to help him feel better but I don’t know how to talk to him about it. I’m worried about overstepping boundaries with something as personal as his own health, I don’t know how involved I should be getting.

There’s nothing you can do about this. Only he can bring about a change. You could offer to make him healthy food to take to work but my guess is that he will still buy fast food as well. He has to want to lose weight.

If he's over 40, he can get an NHS health check through his gp.

I think I'd casually suggest he gets a health MOT at the doctors, he might listen to a professional if they flag up concerns about his weight, blood pressure etc. It's tricky to approach it and lots of men (my dh included!) never go their gp about anything.

Your other option is to say what you've said here; his breathing sounds laboured and not right and that you're worried because you care. He can't take that as a criticism