Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Summer Screentime Limits

12 replies

sarah12375 · 09/07/2021 04:30

Hello! I have a 15 year old girl who has had time locks on her phone since she got it several years ago. The times for this summer are 7am-10:30pm the nights before she has work as a camp counselor (Mon-Thur) and 7am-11pm on her weekends. She's an only child and is well behaved and doesn't have many friends, she mostly stays in her room on her phone when she can and is quiet. She hardly wants to be around us, and sometimes she says things like, "My phone is the only thing that makes me happy." I'm never really sure how to react to that. Lately she has been asking for me to completely remove the time limits on her phone for the weekends because she thinks 11pm is too early. She wants more freedom and is very independent. She's also a night owl. She talks to friends in the evenings but all devices are to be strictly out of the room by 11. She rarely meets friends in real life, and sees one close female friend maybe twice a month and just for a short bike ride. We rarely let her go on walks or bike rides unless we check with her friend's parent due to her lying about who she was with in the past. Sorry if this is off-topic, I thought it was relevant. She's allowed to stay up later than 11, but just goes to sleep as soon as her phone times out. If it went longer she would undoubtedly stay up on it. Should I keep the time as it is now or change something? Thank you!

OP posts:
Blueskythinking123 · 09/07/2021 05:47

I would allow extra time in the holidays. Not many of her friends are likely to be online at 7am. At that age the do chat late into the evening, especially in the holidays.

I would however encourage non screen time activity during the day.

BastardMonkfish · 09/07/2021 05:51

Yeah I'd give her an extra hour at night and you really need to relax the apron strings a bit when letting her out for walks and bike rides, unless she's likely to get involved in country lines or something!

Golden2021 · 09/07/2021 05:59

She's addicted to her phone, only sleeps when the time cap ends, sees nobody in real life, doesn't go out even for a walk. What an awful teenage life! Is this is a hangover from lockdown? Sounds like lockdown life. I wouldn't be offering more time than the moment she wakes until the moment she sleeps. I would want her out and about and socialising. It doesn't sound like much of a life.

newnortherner111 · 09/07/2021 07:12

You need to help with what is an addiction, and keeping time limits is one contributor.

More walks or bike rides would be my suggestion.

MayorGundersonsDogRufus · 09/07/2021 07:42

OP, it does sound like she's depressed and needs support to wean herself off her phone a bit - maybe you could strike a deal with her - she gets an extra hour at night in exchange for something more outdoorsy or social during the day - she can work with you determine what this is, so it doesn't feel like punishment, but she clearly not in a good place and just extending the phone time doesn't seem at all healthy.

reluctantbrit · 09/07/2021 08:01

We had this after the first lockdown, I think DD forgot how to socialise without a phone/zoom.

We insisted that she would show us how to occupy herself without the phone/laptop, gave her some extra chores in the holidays and expected her to read. She soon found enought to do that the phone became less of an issue.

But I think you need to think about the restrictions about meeting her friend. Give her the benefit of doubt that she is not lying anymore and make clear what will happend if the lying starts again.

Pinchoftums · 09/07/2021 08:09

How can you not let her out for walks and bike rides at 15? Let her prove herself.

How about a compromise with the phone set her a time cap of say 2 hours a day that she can use when she wants? Or have a couple of nights a week when it's later but not every night.

sirfredfredgeorge · 09/07/2021 08:25

We rarely let her go on walks or bike rides unless we check with her friend's parent due to her lying about who she was with in the past

It's not the phone that's the problem, it's that you don't let her out, it sounds like the phone is her only contact with the other people, you have got to start letting her actually see people, of course she has few friends to meet if you don't let her meet them!

CatsArePeople · 09/07/2021 12:11

so you are almost not letting her out, she has no real friends... and you worry that only phone makes her happy? Poor girl

User7312019 · 09/07/2021 13:37

Doesn’t take a genius to work out why she hardly wants to be around you. She sounds very unhappy - and that’s just in your post from your own perspective!

Iggi999 · 09/07/2021 13:41

Good grief I thought I was over protective Shock

Forthis1 · 11/07/2021 12:10

It sounds like your to controlling of her. How is she going to prepare for the big wide world?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread