To still be hurting over this?

[MumboNo4]

Bit of back story. Brother and his fiancee have an extremely volatile relationship. His fiancee loves to involve my family and create as much drama as possible. My brother loves the drama too, but doesn't involve other people.

Anyway, I've had to block her multiple times on social media, WhatsApp, etc. She's extremely abusive and vile and I've forgiven her for being nasty to me a few times, but eventually had enough.

Last summer I was pregnant with my first. She called me from a private number and told me she hopes my baby dies. I was distraught.

I have health anxiety, which I seem to have projected onto my son. Every-so-often I worry about him getting ill and something awful happening, and her words pop into my head.....

I feel angry that someone could wish my beautiful little boy dead. To top it off, my brother is back with her despite how she has abused me and my family.

I know this must seem so trivial, it's only words after all. I just can't get passed it, I'm so angry.

I don't want to be angry anymore, but I can't help it.

Oh OP, I remember some of what you went through, I'm really not surprised that you are angry and confused.

We all want to be accepted and valued by family, but sometimes they don't behave well enough to deserve our efforts.

You love your baby in a way you deserve to be loved and this will make those memories more vivid. But you are stronger than you think and you don't need people in your and baby's life that make you doubt yourself.

You would want your child to be treated better and you deserve to be treated better.

Not trivial at all! She’s unhinged. I would never, ever dream of saying anything like that to anyone ever.

God, how awful. What a vile human being she sounds.

Protect yourself and your son and don’t have any contact with her ever again. Your brother has made the decision to be with her, you can’t help that, but you have absolutely no obligation to have anything to do with her. If your family make an issue of it tell them why (if they don’t already know). She’s toxic.

I would cut them both off.

And I'd ensure the wider family knew exactly what a cunt she is.

@Maggiesfarm

Mumbo: She called me from a private number and told me she hopes my baby dies. I was distraught. ........ I'm not surprised. Why on earth did she do that? It's far from trivial, it's horrible.

Did you tell anyone or keep it to yourself? I'm trying to imagine how I would feel if someone said such a thing to me. I understand siblings sometimes row and say awful things they afterwards regret but this woman isn't a sibling, not even yet an in law. It's an outrage.

I told my partner and I told my brother straight away too.

My partner was fuming and rang her to give her hell, and she said it to him too. He was more angry than upset.

@Flowers500

I wouldn’t have a relationship with him when he decides to be with her. He is making a decision to facilitate her abuse of his family. You should never be expected to get past that.

Yes. How could he still be with someone who wished death on his nephew?

@chickenyhead

Oh OP, I remember some of what you went through, I'm really not surprised that you are angry and confused.

We all want to be accepted and valued by family, but sometimes they don't behave well enough to deserve our efforts.

You love your baby in a way you deserve to be loved and this will make those memories more vivid. But you are stronger than you think and you don't need people in your and baby's life that make you doubt yourself.

You would want your child to be treated better and you deserve to be treated better.

@chickenyhead

This is so beautiful. Thank you so much for your kind words ❤

Thank you all so much, every single one of you.

You're all so kind to come on here and take the time to write to me to help me feel better.

I really do appreciate it, more than you realise.

Thank you ❤