Loss…negligence

[AngelsForever]

I’m new posting here so please bare with me.

I lost my baby boy during labour a month ago now. We are devastated.

I was 38 weeks, low risk normal pregnancy. Went into labour and a few hours later after having an emergency c section and we were told he had a hard time in labour and will be severely brain damaged.

My son got transferred to another hospital and they treated him for a few days but tragically he did not make it.

We have since found out that there was a number of incidents that don’t seem to add up in regards to the treatment my son received and I’m just at loss and as much I don’t want to be someone that ‘points fingers’ I’m just feeling very angry, confused and just bitterly sad.

I’m not sure if im asking for advice but my thoughts are with anyone that may stumble across this post and just say that your not alone and hopefully our little angels are all together looking down on us 💐

I didn't want to read and not respond. I am so sorry for your loss.
Have the hospital offered anybody for you to talk to?

Oh OP - that’s so awful. I can’t begin to know how you feel.

Have you seen your notes? Had a full debrief?

I think that it’s important you understand what happened regardless of blame.

I’m really sorry OP. I’d be angry too.

Hi op do you have a debrief with the hospital x

Funny you say that as I have had no notes whatsoever about him. I only have his temporary death certificate which has his name on it.

We have been told he died from HIE I just don’t understand how this could have happened

We had a meeting today with independent health and safety - don’t want to say to much incase this gets deleted.

My boy Jack went for cooling at another hospital and a few days later the consultant told us that there was 4 intubation attempts - the last one worked because the consultant finally arrived 25 mins too late, and that his heart had stopped and that he has brain damage.

I’m just so sad I have no words this stuff shouldn’t happen

I now have a funeral to arrange this just doesn’t seem real it’s so unfair

Thankyou for your responses ❤️

I've got no advice at all, I have no experience with anything like this.

However I couldn't read and run. I'm so very sorry OP, nobody should have to go through this

If you are in England your baby’s death will be investigated by the Healthcare Safety Investigation Branch (if you consent) which will hopefully be able to give you some answers or at least a starting point for identifying what questions you want answered.

If you don’t have one arranged already then HSIB can help facilitate a debrief with the hospital. You are able to request your notes from the hospital although they may charge you a small fee to do so.

Be kind to yourself. You’re deep in grief, not much will be making sense to you right now. I hope you get some of the answers you are desperately seeking.

I can't begin to imagine how you feel but I'm so sorry. I see others know more about this than I do and I hope you get the answers you need to understand what happened to Jack and why.

So sorry for your loss.

Our baby was born with HIE and sent for cooling treatment. Within hours of his birth, someone - I can't remember who - was sent to get my consent for HSIB to investigate what had happened. I had a call from them a few days later.

Have you had this contact? It is a lengthy process but hopefully it will give you answers. In the mean time, please seek help & support for this terrible loss - if it hasn't been put in place already. You will need good people around you.

My heart is truly breaking for you x

I’m so sorry for your loss so unfair that you are having to plan a funeral for Jack.

There are midwives trained in bereavement at Tommy’s if you need to talk.
www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/neonatal-death-information-support
If you want to talk to a professional about how you’re feeling, our team of expert midwives are available via the Tommy’s advice line on 0800 0147 800, 9am-5pm