Aibu to wonder about primary school reports?

[Thingsthatgo]

This isn’t a stealth brag. Both of my DCs can be a right PITA, and I know that they both have their strengths and weaknesses.
Their primary school reports always make them out to be perfect angels, who are borderline geniuses, and I am fairly sure this isn’t the case. Aibu to expect reports to have some resemblance to reality? Otherwise what is the point? I have asked around parents from other primary schools, and it seems it’s standard nowadays.

Nope, my son's is very accurate. I actually complained about a previous report as it was too negative. His teacher this year has been great though.

Mine do describe entirely different children. But I think they just "unwind" at home.

Great.

I get this on parents evening! I said 'I wish the boy you were just talking about was my child'

Teachers often have to couch things in very positive language, so there might be a bit of that going on. Any references to "the life and soul of the classroom", "a very social child" or "loves to interact with others" are not always complimentary.

Personally I've found that the longer I've taught, the less frilly language I've used...

I think sometimes we need a translation for school reports, like
Shows leadership skills = Bossy
Bubbly = Never stops talking
Just gets on with the tasks = does the bare minimum.

Any others?

A pleasure to teach - no idea who your child is

@chickenyhead

A pleasure to teach - no idea who your child is

Ah I put that on my reports as a meaningful comment - only the ones who are actually a pleasure to teach get it, though. But that's primary. Secondary is another ball game.

I only thought that because my parents evenings are so short. Basically " I wish they were all like DS"

No so much for my poor youngest who is fiery I.e obnoxious.

One of my dc’s report described them throughout as the opposite gender. I assumed it was a copy and paste error and assume that most reports are the same and then just ‘tweaked’ a bit. Not that I blame them as I can’t think of anything worse than having to write 25+ totally individual reports.

I’ve read the reports of my dc’s school friends (their parents have shown them to me) They’re usually a copy and paste affair with a few different words thrown in for measure. They’re always ridiculously positive and never address any shortcomings. They’re not worth the paper they’re written on. That’s just our primary school of course though. Not saying that happens everywhere.

DD's school report this year was so accurate I could've written it myself. Wasn't all positive (she lacks focus and attention, can't stop talking etc) but nicely worded so as to get the point across without sounding too negative.

@chickenyhead

I only thought that because my parents evenings are so short. Basically " I wish they were all like DS"

No so much for my poor youngest who is fiery I.e obnoxious.

Tbf I'd say there are definitely teachers out there sticking it in as a filler comment! I always have a few tricky kids for reports every year - reasonably hard working, pleasant, middling to good ability, not exceptional ability but not weak...lovely children but it can be hard to make useful comments without resorting to fluff. At least the badly behaved give me things to write about

My DC is now at the school I work in. I can now see that it’s true - he is very angelic at school and not at all at home!

@SionnachRua totally!

Usually it means they thrive well in structure, and maybe even apart. Some kids are completely different when they don't have siblings to compete with or parents to act out around.

Or they're little shits at school and the teacher is being polite

I teach the younger age of primary and with children that age they are normally so keen to please still so there's usually something positive to write, at least about how hard they try. Also at that age they almost always make a huge amount of progress from whatever baseline they start with. I don't think I've ever written a negative report for a 4 or 5 year old but I am guilty of some of the coded messages mentioned here.

When do reports generally appear? My DD is in Reception and I have no idea when to expect it. I’ve just bought a lovely expandable file for all her school papers and I can’t wait to have something to put in it!

We had "James is a joy to teach once". Unfortunately dd is called Emily. Understandable that mistakes happen at secondary when they teach 100s of kids though

Sorry "James is a joy to teach" once.

I think DS1's is a good balance of positives and areas for improvement. I was expecting candour as his teacher comes across as very straightforward, but not the volume - around 700 words. It must have taken her forever to do all the kids (even allowing for some stock phrases)! First one though so I have nothing to compare it to.

We had a parents evening where one teacher kept calling my child say tommas when his called James. When they asked if we had any questions about tommas in school we just stared blankly and said yes who’s tommas.

I guess in that particular subject my child is rather forgettable and unremarkable a head down and does the work kinda child.

No I can well believe my child is really well behaved in school and not so much here
I've seen how she is in different environments

We are told by our head (primary teacher) that reports are not the time to raise behaviour concerns, that they should be a celebration of what the child does well. We have targets for next year on what they can improve whether they be behavioural or academic.

"Can always been relied on to contribute to class discussions" = talks too much

"Enjoys sharing her ideas" = shouts out in class all the time

"I will miss his banter" = I really won't miss his, usually shouted out, comments which only he thinks are funny