My husband doesn’t seem interested in sex

[Xtea18]

Ok... so I’m not sure what to do.
Happily married, have an 8 month old. Before I got pregnant I was on the pill (had been for years) but decided I don’t want to go back on it as don’t like the way it makes me feel. I’ve also decided I’m not keen on any of the other female methods of contraception for various reasons. We are not having any more children so I really don’t want to get pregnant again. After I had our baby, I brought it up with my dh about what we should do ie condoms or vasectomy and he just didn’t want to talk about it...
We now haven’t had sex in like 1.5 years and I’m starting to find it a bit odd that he doesn’t seem bothered or want to sort this out...
feel a bit unwanted. Has anyone else had similar issues?

Women shouldn’t always be in charge of contraception, it just isn’t fair. Right now an alternative to condoms/vasectomy doesn’t exist so they just need to suck it up sometimes rather than expecting the woman to always deal with the crappy side effects. Not liking condoms is a crap excuse, it really is.

OP, I’d be concerned that he’s having an affair if this drop was very sudden. Any other signs he’s having an affair at all? You definitely need to have a conversation about this regardless because celibacy clearly isn’t working for you.

@Youdiditanywayi agree with regards to contraception but it’s not the condoms though because we used them before... I don’t get why he hasn’t bothered to get any more...
nope he definitely is not having an affair, he would never do that

I think sex is a bit like junk food- the more you're having it, the more you want it. The less you have, the less you crave it.

Sorry, no useful advice actually on how to have the conversation with him, but I do think you need to do it sooner rather than later, as otherwise it will become entrenched that you are in a sexless marriage and he will crave it even less..and then the conversation gets even harder

To be fair though OP, as per my earlier post, I also would have bet my life on ex-husband not to be the type to have affairs! That was part of his appeal - he may have been dull but he was supremely trustworthy and reliable.....

I would always have said "He'd never do that" and I would have believed it. So I'm not suggesting that your DH is having an affair in any way - but I am saying that you can never be certain that anyone simply never would/could. Because life has taught me otherwise.

Frankly, the affairs were the most interesting thing the man had done in the last 18 years

regards to contraception but it’s not the condoms though because we used them before... I don’t get why he hasn’t bothered to get any more..

If he lost his libido it’s generally down to things like stress, depression, boredom etc.

The more difficult option would be that he doesn’t want to have sex with you in particular, which is more related to how is feeling about the state of your relationship in general.
Hope it’s not the second option, good luck 🤞

It’s a hard one. (No pun intended)
Myself and partner are same situation. Only having sex once every few months. I’ve had numerous chats and I’ve drove myself insane thinking he was cheating or didn’t love me. Our last chat made me realise that he does love me. We’re just going through the parent stage of having a nearly 2 year old and being absolutely exhausted. I’m not in the mood/ he’s not in the mood. When we do have sex it’s great

Try talk to him. Tell him how you feel and what his issues are. See what he says and if he try’s to fob you off don’t let him. Nip it in the bud or it will keep going on and on and on. You’ll drive yourself crazy.

X

He initiates but it's mainly me doing stuff to him

That strikes me as staggeringly selfish. So he expects blow jobs, hand jobs etc but completely disregards your needs? He hasn't lost his libido then and he's not shy about asking for what he wants.

He'd probably be happy for you to be sterilised? if he actually spoke to you

Poor you, it sounds like a miserable relationship. You must feel so ignored

Check his browsing history. Porn is so often the modern man's lazy way to sex. It makes no demands on them.

I'm sorry, and it may not be that. But do check. At least then you'll know what you're dealing with.

Good luck. 💐