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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Football VS Butlins

51 replies

MummyLozza · 07/07/2021 22:45

Am I being unreasonable...
Have a weekend booked in Butlins this weekend but SO says his not going to stay the Sunday to come home and go to the pub to watch the final... I don't want to come home to watch it at home alone (DD 4 and DS 6 months) - so not like I can easily join at the pub...

OP posts:
Dancingalong · 07/07/2021 23:13

I’d be peed off if I was expected to stay home with the kids whilst my husband went out to watch and got to enjoy the atmosphere. I probably enjoy watching the games more than him. I’m sure the atmosphere there to watch will be great.

CuriousOrangee · 07/07/2021 23:15

That's why I wondered if they were his kids.

Original poster
MummyLozza · 07/07/2021 23:15

To clarify... We are both big football fans. I've watched every game at home with the kids and his gone to the pub with his mates. I postponed a girls night last Saturday so he could go out and watch the match. Yes they are his kids and yes we could watch it there together which is what I want to do. But if he insists maybe me and kids will stay on and watch it together there!! At least then I can have a vino and don't have to drive home and can enjoy it as well.

OP posts:
Iwantamarshmallowman · 07/07/2021 23:17

@ivfgottwins

Im with your husband - it's likely once in a lifetime - there will be other weekends in Butlins🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
If i was your wife there wouldn't be, there would only be divorce.

Op tell him to grow up and send him off to Hotshots.

xprincessxjanetx · 07/07/2021 23:19

I did vote YABU because it is a once in a lifetime event. But then I read that you are also a football fan and have been made to stay home alone every match whilst he lived it up in the pub with mates and I now thing YANBU. He should want to spend it enjoying it with his DW and at butlins I imagine there will be an amazing atmosphere!!

BackforGood · 07/07/2021 23:20

You are BOTH fans. You BOTH have small dc to consider.
So the decision should be if you watch it in your chalet on laptop or whatever or if you could BOTH manage the 2 dc whilst watching it in their clubhouse or whatever the arrangements will be.

Ratalie · 07/07/2021 23:22

With the update, YANBU. Its unfair of him to dump the kids on you.

toastantea · 07/07/2021 23:25

We are both big football fans. I've watched every game at home with the kids and his gone to the pub with his mates. I postponed a girls night last Saturday so he could go out and watch the match. Yes they are his kids and yes we could watch it there together which is what I want to do.

What a selfish prick. Not a chance I would cut my holiday short to sit at home with the DC while he slopes off to the pub again with his mates.

Ratalie · 07/07/2021 23:26

If i was your wife there wouldn't be, there would only be divorce.

Op tell him to grow up and send him off to Hotshots.
And that solves the problem how?

Time to cut out the every day sexism.

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 07/07/2021 23:31

There'll be a fab atmosphere at Butlins...... Especially if its put on the main stage.

The going home wouldn't bother me usually as its such a big event but I think he's being a knob in this case.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/07/2021 23:34

I’d probably love to watch it at Butlin’s! Why does he have to see it in that particular pub?

He sounds a like a bit of a selfish arsehole tbh.

Holidays are so precious at the moment, I wouldn’t want to cut one short just for footie, however big a game it is. And I like football.

Has he also not thought about what he’s asking of you - to come home a day early to sit and watch at home alone?

FrownedUpon · 07/07/2021 23:42

First major final in over 50 years. Scrap Butlins & come home!

Ratalie · 07/07/2021 23:45

FrownedUpon why is the OP less important than her partner?

Floralnomad · 07/07/2021 23:45

In view of your update YANBU , there is no reason why he can’t watch with you , football doesn’t have to be accompanied by a side order of alcohol and drunken mates and there comes a time in everybody’s life when they have to grow up and put their family first .

Ratalie · 07/07/2021 23:48

I'd give him one of two options.

You watch it together at Butlins or you come home and toss a coin to decide who gets to go out and who's on childcare duty (although really it's his turn).

Confusedmeanderings · 07/07/2021 23:52

I'd say to him that he can go home if he wants to but you're staying. If you drive there, you're having the car and he'll have to go home on public transport. Then afterwards make sure that you keep talking about what a fantastic time you had after he left and what a shame he missed it.

Ratalie · 07/07/2021 23:57

@Confusedmeanderings how does that help the OP in any shape or form?

BackforGood · 08/07/2021 00:04

and there comes a time in everybody’s life when they have to grow up and put their family first

This ^
He (and you) can still watch the match - along with probably 85% of the country. Nobody is saying anyone can't watch the match. But there comes a time when you acknowledge you have young dc and the way you do things has to be different.

It came to us back on 31st Dec 1999. THE party of the year / decade / century and Millennium, which of course we'd both like to have gone out for. However we had 2 young dc so realised we'd have to 'party' in a different way from the way we would have if we hadn't had our children yet. Wouldn't cross our mind for one of us to have gone out and left the other one to put the dc to bed and sit in alone.

Same as the holidays thread recently - you accept that once you make the decision to have dc, things change. Doesn't mean you can't do things, you just do them differently.

BlatantlyNameChanged · 08/07/2021 00:05

Butlins will be showing it in a few of their venues including the massive new one they've built at each resort (Studio 36?) so you'd both be able to watch it and have the DC with you too. I'd go to Butlins and if he does decide to take himself off home instead then at least you'll have confirmation that he's a selfish arsehole.

Ariela · 08/07/2021 00:16

I'd suggest watch with the kids at Butlins, pop DS in a sling with ears covered as it'll be noisy, and maybe take ear muffs for DD, It'll likely be on a big screen, it's (perhaps) a once in a lifetime event DD will remember for a long time.
( I can remember the excitement of watching the World Cup Final at a similar age in 1966 on our little black and white TV)

Janaih · 08/07/2021 10:41

If you were both big football fans you wouldn't have booked a weekend away when the final was on.
I booked the Sunday off work a month ago.

sophiestew · 08/07/2021 11:11

I don't understand.

Why can't he watch it at Butlins? I imagine they will be turning it into a huge event Confused

pussycatlickinglollyices · 08/07/2021 11:18

Work out what time he "thinks" he's leaving, sneak off half an hour earlier and leave him with the kids - then YOU get to go to the pub and he can to bath/bed etc as normal.

sailmeaway · 08/07/2021 11:18

I'd love to bugger off to the pub with mates to watch it, but being a grown up with a wife and 2 kids, we'll watch it together at home. maybe with a couple of friends over.
I'd stay and watch it at Butlins, they'll have big screens etc won't they?
It would be different if you weren't on hols - but you are or if you didn't care about the footie - but you do...

BlueBellsArePretty · 08/07/2021 11:28

Sophiestew

**I don't understand.

Why can't he watch it at Butlins? I imagine they will be turning it into a huge event confused**

Judging from the other thread there are posters who will say that wifey must understand that it will be so much more fun for the husband to watch the game with his friends. She is possessive and controlling if she seeks to deprive him of this fun in this massively historical event 😏