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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I being unreasonable to stand up for myself?

47 replies

eattherich · 07/07/2021 22:34

At the pub watching the football and a group of absolute knobs start banging into our table when England scored. Like you and shouting and dancing and smashing into other people. Now I don't really care about them, but I got up to go to the loo at the same time England scored and they smashed into my chair, and knocked me into the table and I knocked over a few beers.

My husband said 'oy be careful' and they called him a specky 4 eyed cunt and said I was a fat knob head. I got my keys and walked out to go home. Waited on a bench outside to calm down and thought no why should I go home from a pub we go to multiple times a week because of drunken knob heads.

So I went back in and ordered a beer, spoke to the landlord and asked if they were coming on Sunday because if they were We aren't and we as a group of friends come in quite a lot. He reassured me that if they tried to book they wouldn't be allowed because that's not on.

He told them this and they shouted mi'll fucking r*pe you. So that's nice.

But aibu to be really proud I didn't cry, I didn't go home and I stood up for myself?

Ps I know one of the people at the table who went mental as he's a barman at the other pub in the village!

OP posts:
eattherich · 08/07/2021 00:55

If I go into the other pub and he's behind the bar I 100% will walk out. I'm not having him serve me. He sat there and said nothing to his friends. Pathetic little man

OP posts:
slightlysnippy · 08/07/2021 01:22

Wankers! It's hard to comprehend what type of person threatens to rape someone.

MurielSpriggs · 08/07/2021 01:46

Fantastic, such a take-no-shit approach, you are my absolute hero!

Would you think about reporting the rape threat to the police? I'm pretty sure they'd take that seriously, and several people must have heard it. Even if they just haul him in for an interview and take it no further it will have been a worthwhile exercise.

Justilou1 · 08/07/2021 01:49

Should have called the police! That’s got to be illegal.

Notapheasantplucker · 08/07/2021 01:51

Fucking vile behaviour from them. Good on you for sticking up for yourself and sorry you've had to deal with such shit Flowers

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 08/07/2021 02:02

JFC OP I'd be reporting them to the police for the threats! I mean rowdiness and jumping about when football is on is inevitable (I once got a black eye after being accidentally head butted by a pissed too-close twat in a pub during World Cup 2010) but for FFS any reasonable person would apologise and move on!

LemonLemonLemon · 08/07/2021 02:11

Well done OP.
I definitely would report to police. They can’t just say these vile things and carry on.
Nothing will probably come of it, but at least people will know what they are like.

Also, did their friends not react to this?!

eattherich · 08/07/2021 07:37

@LemonLemonLemon no there was 4 of them and 3 of them were being utter twats the one that wasn't saying anything was the barman of the other pub and he just looked so uncomfortable but I'm sorry it's a tiny village if you know the person your 'mates' are abusing the least you can do is say ok guys enough is enough but he just sat there looking like a lemon.

I'll still go to the other bar but if he's there I'll walk out and tell the owner exactly why.

OP posts:
Sandalwoodhaven · 08/07/2021 07:41

They threatened to rape you?! I’m absolutely appalled at this thread. What utter, utter c**ts.

I’d be tempted to report to the police OP, let’s face it, it’s not like there weren’t witnesses. Jesus Christ, just absolutely awful. Well done you for standing up for yourself but you shouldn’t have had to, vile scum bags.

CurryLover55 · 08/07/2021 07:42

Lol at “ prawn dick”!!

bunhead34 · 08/07/2021 08:00

100% he deserves a visit from the police.
Threatening to rape a woman is not on!

eattherich · 08/07/2021 08:01

Yes ive had the night to think on it now and I agree. Should I speak to the local pcso or call 101?

OP posts:
bunhead34 · 08/07/2021 08:04

I would think the local pcos, I'm not sure tho!

bunhead34 · 08/07/2021 08:05

Pcso*

Brefugee · 08/07/2021 08:06

Did the landlord hear what they said? And still served them? Frankly you need to stop going there and tell him why.

Zari29 · 08/07/2021 08:17

I do think you should report them. Even if nothing comes off it, they will have been called out and hopefully those around them get to know about it.

CupOfTPlease · 08/07/2021 08:25

[quote eattherich]@LemonLemonLemon no there was 4 of them and 3 of them were being utter twats the one that wasn't saying anything was the barman of the other pub and he just looked so uncomfortable but I'm sorry it's a tiny village if you know the person your 'mates' are abusing the least you can do is say ok guys enough is enough but he just sat there looking like a lemon.

I'll still go to the other bar but if he's there I'll walk out and tell the owner exactly why. [/quote]
That's out of order.

You can't punish him and then tell his boss why you won't go there.

If he sat there and said nothing your problem isn't with him.

Your husband is the one that needs to be there for you not some random barman.

Brefugee · 08/07/2021 12:27

Piffle. They need to call out their mates. And sure she can "punish" the "random barman" who works in a pub where OP goes - she doesn't need to give money to a place where the staff are apparently happy to hear people talk about women like that.

MurielSpriggs · 08/07/2021 12:39

You may have done something by now, but I'd say 101, where it will be properly logged. I'm actually quite shocked to see that threats of rape are not an offence in their own right. But they seem to fall under the general offence of causing fear of violence.

The offence of causing fear or provocation of violence (threatening behaviour) is an offence created by section 4 of the Public Order Act 1986 (POA 1986).

www.stephenlickrish.co.uk/legal-services/general-crime/public-order-offences/section-4-causing-fear-or-provocation-of-violence/

thinkningaboutit · 08/07/2021 12:50

Horrendous that they felt able to throw rape threats about. Absolutely report to the police.

Longdistance · 08/07/2021 13:10

I’d report it to the police. Wipe the smile off the cunts face. So fucking low.

eattherich · 08/07/2021 15:00

@CupOfTPlease I can do whatever I like. If he's happy to be out and about with men who will threaten rape of a woman then why should I go and spend money where he works. So if I go in and he's behind the bar I will walk out and the owner will ask why we're leaving and I will tell them

OP posts:
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