To ask, if you’ve had a hysterectomy...

[FlyingPandas]

...what made you feel better in the initial recovery period? What helped? What’s best avoided?

I’m looking for little gift ideas for my lovely DSis who went in for surgery on awful fibroids today but has ended up having a full hysterectomy (long story - probably best thing in longer term given her health issues but traumatic in the shorter one, she is mid 40s and has never been able to have DC).

I want to put together a little gift box for her of mini treats and general bits and pieces for her recovery period. Thinking of stuff like nice handcream, magazines, a bit of luxury, something to make her smile, maybe some small treat foods (or will she not feel like eating treat foods?) ...not sure what would be best. Shameless AIBU post for traffic.

Any suggestions gratefully received! Thanks in advance.

I would have loved a really nice blanket. You spend a surprising amount of time resting. A friend sent me a box set of classic plays on audio disc. Which I loved. I guess today’s equivalent would be a token for kindle?

Audible subscription and some earphones? I got fab ones that are a headband think they are called sleep phones. I love them as can listen to an audiobook at night while trying to doze off.

or will she not feel like eating treat foods?
I had no problem eating treat food
Your gift box sounds lovely and thoughtful. I had similar, along with some flowers, & was thrilled. All the sitting around does get a bit boring tbh, are you able to visit & have a cuppa?

Your sister may be different but I didn't have the energy to do much pampering initially. I would feel ok and then the energy drained out of me like someone had suddenly pulled a plug.

Some lovely flowers cheered me up.

Yes a subscription to podcasts or Audible would be good or some streamed TV.

A long grabber stick from Amazon.

Maybe one of those triangular cushions that supports you in bed?

Thank you all...blanket is a fab idea @Bargebill19 and I love the idea of audio subscription too.

@Heyyeahyouwiththesadface yes I am hoping to visit once she is home. And will definitely include some treat food

www.amazon.co.uk/iwish-Rechargeable-Batteries-Household-Traveling/dp/B01DM5H5WA

One of these Iwish rechargeable fans from Amazon helps me every single day.
I had to have a hysterectomy in my early 30s and this is definitely my fave saviour.

Happy to be a contact post op for her if that would be helpful (if she doesn't think too random an offer from a stranger). I just found the online groups a little full on and would have loved someone to ask questions!

Aww bless you @raeray. That’s so kind, thank you.

I have ordered her a blanket and a fan, just looking at audio stuff now

Comfy lounge joggers with a loose waist! For me being able to be as normal as possible was a help, and having comfy clothes made everything easier.

nice shower gel (baths are banned for a bit).
smart, but soft and comfy (possibly a size bigger) trousers. I was bloated AF for about 8 weeks after and had to buy some extra trousers. You feel a bit shitty just wearing old bobbly joggers all the time. voucher for a ready meal or takeaway for when exhausted.

I've had a full abdominal hysterectomy and to be honest the best thing was people not making a fuss. Yes it's incredibly painful but encourage her to get on her feet on 2nd day and keep moving. That's the best advice I can give :) Maybe just meet up for walks after about a week to give her the confidence to just breath, grit the teeth and get the legs moving. Honestly its the best therapy/recovery

P.S. Likely she will only need a fan if experiencing flushes due to onset of menopause if ovaries taken..which is not likely if it was surgery for fibroids

I'm lying in bed right now - had mine 13 days ago.

Great ideas here. I like that you want to pamper her.

These first two weeks I needed practical help. These are the things my mum has done for me which have been a godsend - I'm a single mum.

Food for me and kids - mum dropped off a shepherds pie, a lasagne etc and my tweens put them in oven. I can't stand for long.

Come and clean for her or pay a cleaner to Hoover, mop and pick up.

Go at weekend to help wash and hang school uniforms.

Go and change her bed then take the sheets home to wash so she doesn't have to.

First two weeks I've had brain mush so I could t have done a puzzle or crossword, barely can concentrate on Greys anatomy. But a TV list of things to suggest she watch, a puzzle or sudoko book.

Warm fuzzy socks

Random - perfume or body spray. I smell different like when you're pregnant and your hormones are out of whack. I had my ovaries removed and I'm on HRT but I still smell weird.

You're a lovely soul

Nice PJ’s with comfy waistband
Also something to do sitting down. It was boring
Someone to cook meals for you and do your laundry!

The best gift I have ever been given for surgery recovery is one of those bed tables/trays. I also use it on the sofa so I don't have to bend to reach the coffee table. One that is adjustable in height and tilts in some way.

I'd prefer ebooks to Audible and when I cannot be bothered reading just use text to speech or whatever it's called.

If you can send her something in now I would suggest ear plugs, eye mask and mints/gum/boiled sweets for the dry mouth.

I found a small neck pillow. The sort you use for travelling on planes etc really usefull after my operation. I could sit up in bed or on the sofa and read and didn't get uncomfortable with shoulder aches. Something quite simple that made a difference. Also, nobody ever told me about the bad wind you get after the operation. Maybe something to combat the windy gripes.

For me the best things were books and visitors (who could make their own tea and only stay for an hour!)

A walker next to the loo so you can lower yourself onto the seat! Think you can hire them.

Peppermint tea for the wind helps so much! Some people even feel pain in their shoulders from it. I was so glad I knew about this and went prepared.

Have some gentle laxative to hand - I got quite constipated afterwards.

Second the moving about as soon as possible and often. Plenty of short bursts rather than one long one.

Avoid bending, twisting and lifting.

Love to your sister!

Books! An Amazon gift card (or similar) would be a great idea as you've got endless time to browse online.

You could take a home-cooked meal for her fridge or freezer, as you're not really up to standing about doing food prep and if she's like me, she'll be tired of ready meals.

My lovely sister came to stay with me for a few days and cooked which was great!

You could also offer to do any little household tasks which might be helpful - e.g. run the hoover round.

Posh shower gel as it's normally about 6 weeks until you can have a bath.

I had the exact same experience as your DSis in my early 30s - she has my utmost sympathy.

For me, I spent a lot of time asleep and the overnight menopause + heatwave combo (it was 2018) was a complete nightmare. I got a really good standing fan which helped a lot. I did have my ovaries taken as well - it can happen with a fibroid if the doctors aren't 100% certain about whether it's benign, and advise taking the cautious route.

Seconding the recommendations for audiobooks, for help around the house, posh shower gels. Also, and I hope this doesn't happen to her but just in case - caffeine shampoo. I had really bad hair loss due to the sudden hormonal change, which nobody told me about, and for some reason that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The shampoo did make a difference. Ditto food that can be easily heated up. I love pasta but struggled to lift the pan of boiling water for a few weeks.

Other than that... just understanding and love, really. It can be really difficult for people to hear about - my family did emotionally check out, which made me feel very isolated at times. She might have a lot of rapidly-changing emotions and just having someone to talk to helps a lot.

A gift box is a lovely idea. I agree with the suggestions for books and audible books. Flowers and some nice chocolates would be lovely.

I had an abdominal hysterectomy when I was a bit younger than your sister (had a fibroid the size of a football). I got over it really quickly.

Going for a walk every day is a good idea. My surgeon advised me to do this and I really believe it helped a lot. I wouldn't have wanted or needed a blanket but realise we are all different

Wow some amazing ideas here - thank you all

@lynsey91 the size these things get is horrendous isn’t it- Dsis has been told today that her uterus was football sized. How the surgeon managed to remove it via keyhole surgery is beyond me. She still has her ovaries but there were some minor bowel complications so the suggestions re peppermint tea and laxative are definitely ones to take on board....I’ve had multiple ops under anaesthetic myself including 3 csections and have always suffered with constipation afterwards so I’d already told her to make sure her DH gets some fybogel!

Fortunately her DH works from home and our DM is going to go and stay for a week to do all housework and meals etc so she will be fine initially for practical help - I suspect it will be in the next few weeks that she will need and value ongoing support.

Off to start making up the box - thank you for all for the lovely ideas, and to all of you who have been through a similar thing.

@FlyingPandas

Wow some amazing ideas here - thank you all

@lynsey91 the size these things get is horrendous isn’t it- Dsis has been told today that her uterus was football sized. How the surgeon managed to remove it via keyhole surgery is beyond me. She still has her ovaries but there were some minor bowel complications so the suggestions re peppermint tea and laxative are definitely ones to take on board....I’ve had multiple ops under anaesthetic myself including 3 csections and have always suffered with constipation afterwards so I’d already told her to make sure her DH gets some fybogel!

Fortunately her DH works from home and our DM is going to go and stay for a week to do all housework and meals etc so she will be fine initially for practical help - I suspect it will be in the next few weeks that she will need and value ongoing support.

Off to start making up the box - thank you for all for the lovely ideas, and to all of you who have been through a similar thing.

That's amazing that she could have keyhole surgery. I was hoping I could have had that but was told it was not possible. Most likely there have been advances in the 30 years since I had mine.

I have had quite a few ops under anaesthetic but have obviously been lucky as I have never had any problems with constipation.

I'm also amazed that she could have keyhole surgery - mine was also that size, and they said under no circumstances would they even think about trying via keyhole. And that was only 3 years ago!

I think the constipation and wind is due to the anaesthetic - agree that laxatives or something to ease the, erm, pressure is a must.

I'm glad that your sister is getting support, and you sound like a lovely person OP.