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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or are my neighbours

13 replies

Nmchnger · 07/07/2021 20:29

Relationship with neighbours has been previously cordial. We say hello, take in parcels including her nieces prom dress which the niece then came and picked up as neighbours were on holiday, we invited them to the evening do of our wedding (they didn't attend). We both have fairly large back gardens. Part of theirs has been a bit of a mess for a while but it hadn't bothered us. Over all the lock downs they have both worked from home and some months ago they began work on that bit of their garden whilst being at home. They told us they were going to replace the fences between our house and theirs. This was fine by us, they guaranteed that the work would be done in a day and it wouldn't affect us. However it took 3 days and we couldn't let the dogs out while this was going on. When they removed the old fences they left them in our garden for us to deal with.

My husband is awaiting medical treatment and has limited mobility because of this. We are both keyworkers and have worked full time over all lock downs. Due to my husbands medical problems I've had to do everything around the house and the garden has become a bit overgrown. We tried to arrange a gardener but this was difficult over lock down, he is now booked in for next week. We have also had a family of Jackdaws make a nest in our eaves and they have complained about the noise. (our houses are detached and we live in the country there's birds everywhere!) We approached the RSPB for advice and were told we couldn't do anything until they fledged.

On Sunday our dogs managed to find a gap in the new fence and escaped, this was witnessed by the neighbours. I was panicked and roaming around shouting for them, clearly distressed. My husband went to the car to drive to the nearby park to see if they had made their way there and whilst hobbling down the drive the neighbour came out and started shouting about the fact that the birds were still there and the garden was a mess.

I'm shocked that they chose this distressing moment to have a go. AIBU?

OP posts:
BlueSurfer · 07/07/2021 20:31

Who owns the fence? If it is their fence, it sounds like you need to put up another one that is secure and charge them for the removal of the panels.

Nmchnger · 07/07/2021 20:35

BlueSurfer I honestly have no idea. We rent so don't have the deeds. When they told us they were replacing it they had already bought the fence and started the day after.

OP posts:
BlueSurfer · 07/07/2021 20:35

I think you need to have a chat with your landlord or else order the deeds from Land Registry (it doesn’t cost much) to find out.

Nmchnger · 07/07/2021 20:36

They have since fixed the gap

OP posts:
Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 08/07/2021 08:42

Tell your landlord about the fence and let them argue it out with the neighbours. If it was the neighbours fence, they need to dispose of the old one. If it wasn't their fence, they shouldn't have touched it without your landlord's permission.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 08/07/2021 09:02

YADNBU OP. The fence stuff I'd shrug off but then complaining about birds singing is bloody ridiculous. Unless you've planted a load of japanese Knotweed the state of your garden is none of their business and they sound massively hypocritical anyway,

parietal · 08/07/2021 09:12

do they know your husband is unwell? they might not have realised this was such a bad time & just thought 'I so rarely see Nmchngr&dh that I have to say this when I can'.

so they aren't being deliberately cruel, just a bit stupid & hasty.

ignore the complaints and I hope your dh gets better soon.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 08/07/2021 09:17

Poker faced tell them you have spoken to the birds about keeping the noise down..
And walk away.
Every time..

DavidTheDog · 08/07/2021 09:23

They are likely to be preoccupied with their own problems and worries that you don’t know about, and you yours.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.

ForeverSausages · 08/07/2021 09:56

I hope your dogs are okay? And also completely understand you're upset with the fact it took them 3 days to replace the fence, left the old fence in your garden for you to deal with, and then shouting at you because of birds nesting and your garden being a mess. I'd be livid.

But I love what @30degreesandmeltinghere suggested Grin.

DavidTheDog · 08/07/2021 10:38

On the other hand, when you live next door to a tenancy you end up getting a lot of the work done and paying 100% of it because neither the tenants nor the landlord care to contribute. I can see why they’d leave the old panels in your garden rather than pay for disposing of them on top of everything else.

ForeverSausages · 08/07/2021 11:51

@DavidTheDog

On the other hand, when you live next door to a tenancy you end up getting a lot of the work done and paying 100% of it because neither the tenants nor the landlord care to contribute. I can see why they’d leave the old panels in your garden rather than pay for disposing of them on top of everything else.
Well that's a sweeping statement Confused.
DavidTheDog · 08/07/2021 18:01

Well that's a sweeping statement You're right of course, and taken from a very small yet frustrating sample size.

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