Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you cut these family members out of DC’s life?

6 replies

Lookingforadvice2 · 07/07/2021 19:51

So I’m considering cutting DC’s uncles and grandmother from dad’s side out of their life. (not together, he sees for a few hours here and there, doesn’t take DC back to his home etc, I’m the one always planning get togethers with his family, he never does take DC to see them etc).

This is for a few reasons:

They never make the effort to contact and see how DC is, even when DC had COVID or whenever has been unwell or in hospital.

They never make the effort to see DC, never ask to FaceTime, and I’m the one always having to chase them to see in RL or they wouldn’t bother at all because they never ask or attempt to make a plan.

They have family get togethers and celebrate special occasions and never plan for DC to be there or invite, including for similar aged cousins, but will always make sure whatever girlfriend is on the scene is there for every get together and occasion - even after I have told them that I feel DC is left out a lot but they don’t ever change.

I’m sick of DC being an after thought to them, DC has my side of the family who adore and spend a lot of time, would I be unreasonable to say because of lack of care and effort, they no longer have anything to do with DC?

I would rather someone be out of DC’s life than inconsistently in and out, they legally don’t have a leg to stand on, and of course I would still allow dad access as normal

OP posts:
Lookingforadvice2 · 07/07/2021 19:53

Just to add, DC is 6, can’t even tell you their names because has no clue, and wouldn’t make a difference if didn’t see them again

OP posts:
gwenneh · 07/07/2021 19:53

Sounds like they've taken themselves out -- what's left to cut out if they don't make the effort?

LtDansleg · 07/07/2021 19:54

I wouldn’t cut them out as such. I’d just stop making the effort to arrange things with them. If they never contact you first anyway then it’ll have the same result, just without any upset and aggro.

StarryNight468 · 07/07/2021 19:54

Why would you need to cut them out? There isn't a need for a conversation if they don't invite him anyway? You can't say to someone I'm cutting you out when they're not even your side of the family. Surely its up to dc dad whether he takes dc to see them or not?

Bksjshsbbev2737 · 07/07/2021 19:55

Im not even sure I’d describe it as cutting them off, if just stop making an effort. It’s very nice that you have been but you’re under no obligation to and if they want to make an effort then fine but I don’t think they’re really showing that they do

Greenbks · 07/07/2021 19:55

How old are your DC and can they make that decision themselves?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread