To ask for advice on how to get over my shyness?

[ruinedbyshyness]

I have always been really shy. I thought I would have outgrown it by now as I'm in my mid 20s but it still really affects my life.

I have made lots of improvement. At work I can be quite chatty with my colleagues once I have gotten to know them. I can cope with doing things others with social anxiety would struggle with (ordering at restaurants, speaking on the phone, etc).

However, whenever I'm with anyone senior to me I really struggle. At work I really struggle speaking to my manager or anyone senior. I completely close up and just cannot talk beyond short one-worded answers. I also struggle with older family members (grandparents, aunties and uncles). I also really struggle during job interviews. I completely dissociate and have an out-of-body experience, my mind is completely disengaged from what I'm saying and I speak really, really quickly. I have just made the decision to cancel an upcoming job interview as I just couldn't bring myself to put myself through the stress of it all.

I feel embarrassed as I can see senior staff at work changing their approach when communicating with me. My manager is really nice but quite serious but when she talks to me she changes her tone, I think she's scared she will make me cry if she's too stern/serious. It also happened at university with lecturers. It feels like others feel that I need to be treated like a child and something about my shyness is making them act like that.

I don't know what I can do. I am out of my comfort zone a lot at work, constantly speaking up in meetings but it hasn't helped me yet.

@ruinedbyshyness
Have you got any hobbies you like to do and find a group like cooking or reading ect if that's what you like to do,you might find it a lot easier mixing with people who like to do what you like to do hoping you get over your shyness.

It takes time and experience to overcome shyness so be patient as feeling more comfortable won't happen overnight. It has been said that you should try to imagine a manager in the bath or similar situation. Remember they are human too and were once as junior as you are now - and you wouldn't have been given the job if they thought you weren't capable. Also, don't be afraid to admit that a particular thing is something you haven't had much experience with yet but you are willing to learn.

Try CBT

Nothing wrong with shyness IMO. But you asked for ideas… This might seem extreme but how about an online drama group? Loads now and less scary than real life. No need to actually go on a stage. Can be great for developing new skills such as calming down, prepping for what to say etc

I know this sounds crazy and its embarrassing to do it, but imagine a scenario, work out a script or speech, and act it out while you record yourself on your phone or webcam.
Then play it back, and each time focus on one aspect - your voice, your facial expression, your body language. Watch to see if you hunch over, or look at the floor.
Practice sitting up, making eye contact, and speaking clearly. Just using confident body language will help you fake it. Practice when there's no one else around and remind yourself it doesn't matter if you goof.
Unglue your tongue from the roof of your mouth. Take a breath and pause before you speak, let that initial spike of panic fade before you open your mouth.
Then go somewhere it doesn't matter and practice. Buy something from a shop you don't normally use. Talk to a stranger, ask for the time or directions. Practice adjusting your posture several times an hour, and talking to other people every day.