18year old moved out

[Idiotathome79]

So back story
Son and girlfriend 18&17

They didn't get on very well ,he would visit her and get me to text asking him to come home as he was fed up with being there , he would lie about seeing mates as she doesn't like it , she's very controlling and doesn't like him drinking , talking to anyone female etc
She is always running him down , doesn't want him following career ambitions .

Father's Day she broke up with him at 7pm then went off with another boy by Monday evening she was back with my son ,( he asked her )

He then told me Wednesday he was moving in with her ( she lives on a farm in a caravan)

I am devastated and think it's a stupid move obviously he's 18 and I can't stop him , but it's torn a massive whole in our lives ,
We are already going through a lot as a family
Stupidly I told him what I thought and said to him if he hadn't told everyone what she was saying / doing previous to this we may have had a different view .

Apparently he's the happiest he's ever been with her ,

I don't know how to move this forward my son in law won't talk to son because he's frustrated by it all ( previously he was close with him )
We have a birthday coming up soon and I am at a loss with what to do ,

@Alfiemoon1 it's not so easy just to say they have to leave home , is it ?
If my son come to me and said I want to house share with my mate I would of sat down had the convo but let him be ,

Yes it would make me cry it did when my eldest left , and my daughter when she went uni but to me this feels so much more different .

Just tell him he's welcome to come home at any point and to use his own condoms.

Don't want him getting her pregnant.

Also maybe send him some resources 'just in case as adult relationships are tricky' on coersive control and manipulation in relationships. Also on the fact fathers have no right to ask for abortions and on child support rules.

Such as her saying her health will be affected if he leaves. If she says she'll kill herself. If she claims to be pregnant etc.

It could be handy

Yes it’s not the fact dd has left home she already had before she met him. It’s the relationship which is concerning. She’s got no friends of her own now as he wouldn’t let her go out without him he accused her of cheating for contacting her university mates about uni work they have to do group work. He has been vile to me accusing me of holding her hostage in the family home when she stayed one night after work as she was tired and it was icy. He actually wanted photographic proof she was asleep and had her phone as she never ignores him
Thankfully he’s transgender so biologically female so no chance of her getting pregnant every cloud has a silver lining I guess lol

All you can do is keep your doors open, be non judgemental when he talks to you, and let him come home if he wants to.

I moved out when I was 18 and apart from a couple of stints in the university holidays I never went back. I have a fantastic relationship with my parents.

@Alfiemoon1
Oh gosh at least that's one worry you won't have to deal with , I think that's my biggest worry , he says he doesn't want children yet but as we know it's not always how it goes .

I have told him to always use condoms regardless as added security .

They have got cats they can’t afford instead lol.