If people say they are struggling for money?

[Anon778833]

Is it a beg for you to give it to them? Or are they just talking?

They don't say much to you often. But all of a sudden

'Oh I start a new job in 2 weeks and I can't afford my car payments and if I don't pay it I won't be able to start the job'

Since I'm autistic I often miss peoples true intention.

Who is the person? Sibling, close friend or random acquaintance?

Unless someone directly asks you for a loan you have no obligation to respond, and if they do ask you have no obligation to lend

'Oh I start a new job in 2 weeks and I can't afford my car payments and if I don't pay it I won't be able to start the job'

A car wont be repossessed in 2 weeks

No. Don't go down that road. Don't lend people money. Especially when they can't be decent and ask outright.

Yes, they are angling for money, but no, you shouldn’t give it to them.

Oh I won't be lending a thing.

Never a borrower or a lender be.

I'm just curious to understand motivation. I never tell friends about my finance issues.

I think it’s potentially a hint, hoping you’ll say oh let me help you out
A car can’t be repossessed in two weeks, they can inform of a delay in payments
If they’re paid a monthly salary they’ll be paid at end of month

I suppose it depends on the person who is saying it.
Those specific words “ if I don't pay it I won't be able to start the job” sound very much like a hint for a handout but I don’t know anyone personally who would say something like that. I do have family members who might have a generally moan about being skint but they are just saying it in conversation or they would ask upfront if I could help out with a loan if they really wanted help.

Depends on the person and the relationship IME.

Some people are just open about their lives, and may simply be talking about this because it's only just now it's become an issue.

Others hint and hope.

Others again will be doing something more complicated - they're worrying about the job, and it comes out as them expressing all the possible logistical problems to you.

IMO if you like them and want to show it, a good response is something like 'that sounds really hard, do you want to talk about it?' IME people who are angling for money don't respond well to that sort of question and will keep hinting, but people who genuinely appreciate the conversation will be glad that you're inviting them to share their worries.

Others again will be doing something more complicated - they're worrying about the job, and it comes out as them expressing all the possible logistical problems to you.

Oh yeah, I see what you mean.

I'm autistic, it's the sort of thing I unintentionally say as whatever pops into my head tends to just come out of my mouth and absolutely wouldn't be angling for money but for others it would be a hint

I've had friends say they can't do something as they need to watch the pennies.

That's entirely different to saying they need money for the car for a very specific reason.

My DP was made redundant last year and money was pretty tight until he got a new job (not that we couldn’t pay the bills, just had to make cutbacks). I was open with friends about things being difficult and it was absolutely NOT because I wanted a loan! I would have been really embarrassed if someone had offered.

I did have a couple of people shout me lunch/coffee rather than split the bill as we usually would, which I was grateful for, and have since reciprocated. I would do/have done the same.

Some people are hinting, I suppose, some are just talking.
I was talking about my hair needing a cut once and a random woman at work snapped at me "I'm not going to cut it for you!" (1. I didn't know she used to be a hairdresser- and 2- I wouldn't have asked her if I had anyway!). So sometimes conversations in general can maybe come across as "hinting" when they are definitely not!

Well they mentioned the actual amount which is £300

Yes, they are angling, especially mentioning the exact amount.

Oh well he can piss off 🤣

It seems that this might be money for drugs and not for a car payment at all.

I thought the same - surely they don't take your car if you miss one payment.