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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you leave a job for your mental health?

64 replies

fugginhell · 06/07/2021 17:35

I'm tired of being put in to positions I don't want to be in I feel pressured to say yes I can't cope with it all. I work for the NHS so majority of the problems are due to understaffing and our terrible manager.

I feel like telling her I'm not coming back tomorrow but then I don't want a bad reference I just can't put myself through another day off it.

OP posts:
MeowPurrGrr · 07/07/2021 00:28

Yes I did!

Left NHS as nurse after being signed off with anxiety, couldn’t face going back as I knew nothing would change. Currently do agency nursing and much happier, I pick my shifts and if I’m feeling crap I work round it!

fugginhell · 07/07/2021 00:29

I'm still awake hoping if I stay up a bit longer the morning won't come around so soon. I am spending all day with her tomorrow as-well due to no staff. If I had the guts to not go back tomorrow I would.

I really wish I knew what the NHS was about before I signed up for it.

OP posts:
Graphista · 07/07/2021 00:44

Yes I would and I did.

My last job my boss was a nasty gaslighting bully.

There was a final straw moment on a Wednesday and I just mentally went "nope! Not putting up with this shit any more!"

I was really worried about how I'd support us as I was worried dwp would class it as me leaving voluntarily. Not had great experience with them either.

I'd had a breakdown a couple of years earlier

I went into dwp office and broke down in tears.

The person I saw was actually really supportive and said that this wasn't leaving voluntarily this was leaving for health reasons

If I'd stayed even a week longer I have no doubt I'd have had another breakdown.

I would advise seeing gp first for you though as it's become tougher and less supportive an environment in govt for such issues so I think you need to cover your back.

Hopefully gp will sign you off so you can have some space and time, get your head together and figure out your next move.

No job is worth your health ever.

There's a saying that people don't quit jobs, they quit managers.

Definitely!

@JaniceEvans that only works when the management aren't the problem I'm afraid.

I admit with hindsight (and with some knowledge that only came to light about a year after I left) I wish I'd stayed, gone over her head and complained. I had nothing to lose by doing this as if it hadn't worked I could then have left at that point but in my case I didn't need them as a reference as I was only there a few months (yes it was quickly that bad!) so I could have just fudged some dates etc

If you're someone that struggles to say no then I would heartily recommend taking some assertiveness training.

I'm also ex nhs but I left the last time things were shit! Funnily enough also under a Tory govt - go figure! Wink

DramaAlpaca · 07/07/2021 00:57

I would and have. My mental health is more important than any job. Not the NHS though, it was bad enough when I worked there 30 years ago but I gather it's far worse now.

HollaHolla · 07/07/2021 01:04

Yep. Often you don’t leave awful jobs, you leave awful managers. Sadly, mine just now is a sociopath. I’d love her to leave - in any way. I like my job, otherwise.

nanbread · 07/07/2021 01:38

Yes - left a toxic workplace and took a huge paycut - except I left it too late, stayed too long, became too damaged and it's caused me possibly life long problems.

MrsToothyBitch · 07/07/2021 05:50

Yes, I did. I needed to leave my industry- retail management. And yes to pp who said people quit managers not jobs. I left places previously because I felt undervalued or was not happy with their company and management culture but my last job ib retail lasted a month. I cited family reasons - which was partly true and known to them- as an excuse and was off. It was actually down to one bullying manager. Everyone knew. I got told I was so lucky to be able to leave by other staff. My parents told me to leave and bailed me out because within 3 weeks there "the life went out of me". Life is precious. Luckily I was so new I only needed to give a week's notice. Ended up working two so the cowbag could have a holiday- did it for the extra cash, was the nicest week there.

Took a 3 month break/job hunt which restored me and turned me back into my pre retail self and joined the civil service. I need to change roles now, but it's not like before. I never want to have to do that again- but I would.

1000glitterydicks · 07/07/2021 06:06

I have recently.
I was in a management position and had a total wobble about it. I've stepped down from management and had 6 weeks off. Whilst off, I've sourced a new job that pays more than my present company we're prepared to pay me, with less responsibility.

100percent21 · 07/07/2021 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spyro1234 · 07/07/2021 16:52

Yes definitely, it's only a job. Life is more important, hopefully you can find a new job

Hankunamatata · 07/07/2021 17:00

A job can be great or hell purely down to new manager. Iv been in same NHS job but ended up going on sick due to managerial pressure. New manager when I came back and total change of attitude and support. Same job and crap goes with it but a supportive and understanding manager makes all the difference

spongebunnyfatpants · 07/07/2021 17:31

I did and it is the best thing I have ever done. I wish I did it sooner, because my old job nearly killed me.

Please leave and make your self happy, sometimes you need to be selfish and put yourself first.

Good luck. Flowers

Itstheprinciple · 07/07/2021 17:37

I did. I had another very part time job at the time so I took a gamble on that increasing which it did and now I've completely retrained in that field. My mum actually took my letter of resignation out of my hands as I was umming and arring about whether to send it or not and she ran to the post box and sent it! Decision made!

DrCAMHS · 07/07/2021 18:39

I worked for the NHS. I left to go private and never looked back. YANBU

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