Boyfriend asking for pics?

[WildflowerWildfire]

We don’t live together but he spends a lot of time at my place. We have sex very often and I also send him pics and vice versa. We both have a high sex drive so this isn’t necessarily a problem, although I don’t enjoy the pic taking because I don’t think it’s necessary when we see each other as much as we do.

So today we had a chat (over messages) about a lot of things regarding our relationship and he said he would make more effort to be less sexual. He regularly taps or feels my bum which is not always appropriate and/or wanted. Anyway I feel like we successfully ironed out some issues until the end of the chat when he asked if he could “get something”. I asked what he meant and he said some more of the pics that I’d sent him last week. I told him I’d taken a few and chose the best one, so he wanted the outtakes so to speak.

We then had a huge argument because of what we’d just been discussing and him basically being stupid enough to undo all of the nice things and effort he said he’s make from now on. Aibu to be really annoyed and disappointed?

It's just a big fat no from me. Sending dirty pictures is so risky, even if you can't see your face (people can't still identify your body and background). If he keeps pushing it and you don't want to do it, I'd run a mile.

He sounds really grim

Oh, I'm so sorry you're in this situation of sending photos you don't really want to :(

And don’t waste any time training him… leopards and spots spring to mind

@WildflowerWildfire

I feel like it’s expected so I end up just doing it. I never like receiving dick pics in return either. I’d just rather do things in person like people do in adult relationships. I feel like I’m training a boy how to be a man and it’s tiring

Expected by whom?

If you don't want to do it then don't!

I would never, ever, ever send anyone nude pics of myself. Stupidest thing to do. Aren't you worried about where they might end up?

He needs dumping, he sounds like a complete arsehole.

This is the type of man who would then use , distribute or Blackmail you later on. Listen to what everyone is telling you.

@WildflowerWildfire

I feel like it’s expected so I end up just doing it. I never like receiving dick pics in return either. I’d just rather do things in person like people do in adult relationships. I feel like I’m training a boy how to be a man and it’s tiring

Why bother then?

Never send naked photos to anyone. If you are in a relationship with them, they can see the real thing and that should be enough.

Next time you see him you need to permanently delete any photos you’ve sent him off his phone. Stop doing anything sexual that you’re uncomfortable with. He clearly doesn’t respect your boundaries. This is not the guy for you.

@WildflowerWildfire

32 but 16 in his head/trousers unfortunately.

And what do you see in him? Why are you in this relationship?

He sounds grim.

I would hate the thought of pics like that of me out in cyberspace for anyone to see whether I was identifiable or not. Doesn’t that bother you? I would imagine he’s sharing them.

I’m not sure I understand why you’re in a relationship you sound miserable in doing things you don’t want to do?

I feel like I’m training a boy how to be a man and it’s tiring

He's 32 and he knows who he is. It sounds more like he's been training you to ignore your boundries.

You want him to start treating you with respect and treating you as a girlfriend rather than a FWB? I’m really sorry but if a man starts a relationship treating someone poorly or casually they will never improve.

You’ve experienced his ‘best’ I’m not at all sure I’d hang around to see his less good side. Let him loose and find someone who actually makes you happy.

And maybe I’m old but stop with the intimate photos. So risky and unnecessary.

Raise. Your. Standards.

Why are you tolerating this fuckwit?

Just split up with him and find someone who you don't have to parent.

It sounds more reminiscent of a woman talking her secondary-school-aged child through how to maintain friendships, than a sexual relationship between adults.

If you're not into exchanging nudes, don't do it... Clearly you aren't well matched.

What happened to flowers, dinner, romance?

I think nude pictures and romance are not mutually exclusive. A relationship can have both. Both people need to be on the same page though. It also doesn't sound like he does much of the romance side.

@WildflowerWildfire

I feel like it’s expected so I end up just doing it. I never like receiving dick pics in return either. I’d just rather do things in person like people do in adult relationships. I feel like I’m training a boy how to be a man and it’s tiring

Tell him just that, and dump him.

@WildflowerWildfire

I feel like it’s expected so I end up just doing it. I never like receiving dick pics in return either. I’d just rather do things in person like people do in adult relationships. I feel like I’m training a boy how to be a man and it’s tiring

Does ‘training’ a 32 year old man in how not to be a dickhead with an alarmingly fuzzy grasp of boundaries not make your vagina clamp shut and go AWOL?