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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

LFT consent Continuec

20 replies

duckme · 06/07/2021 13:18

I've never had a full thread before and have no clue how to link the previous one. I'm currently at work and will try to update on my lunch break.

OP posts:
IAmAWomanNotACis · 06/07/2021 13:19

Do you work at the same school as your son?

Interested to know what his school have said.

ScaredNotAnxious · 06/07/2021 13:22

I can't believe there's a second thread for this tedious debate. YABU, he doesn't need your consent, the school don't need your consent - they pretty much just asked you as a courtesy in the first place.

duckme · 06/07/2021 13:44

@IAmAWomanNotACis

Do you work at the same school as your son?

Interested to know what his school have said.

No, I work at a primary school.
OP posts:
chickenyhead · 06/07/2021 13:48

Have the school come back?

duckme · 06/07/2021 13:48

The member of staff who has been dealing with the testing of the pupils has called be back.
He completely understood my concerns. And in no way did I get the impression that he considered me to be batshit, unhinged, 'That Parent' or controlling. He profusely apologised and said he would be reporting the incident to the head teacher and would be speaking the staff to ensure that this sort of speech isn't used again.
He thanked me for bringing the incident to his attention as he said this absolutely should not have happened.

OP posts:
Holly60 · 06/07/2021 13:50

He sounds very professional…

duckme · 06/07/2021 13:51

@ScaredNotAnxious

I can't believe there's a second thread for this tedious debate. YABU, he doesn't need your consent, the school don't need your consent - they pretty much just asked you as a courtesy in the first place.
You weren't obliged to return.
OP posts:
chickenyhead · 06/07/2021 14:05

Well done OP.

Thebig3 · 06/07/2021 14:09

Well done op. Seems if you have anything to do with covid then all logic goes out the window!

You are required to give consent as your child isn't old enough, in the eyes of the law, and it is a medical procedure. I would have been equally annoyed too.

To me, this is just a slippery slope to all medical procedures being completed regardless of consent.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 06/07/2021 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

chickenyhead · 06/07/2021 14:16

Have they confirmed 100% that they will rely on your consent? Or just confirmed that they will check there is no pressure on your DS?

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 06/07/2021 14:17

That's a reassuringly good result @duckme he sounds really professional. I'm glad you voiced your concerns and they were listened to.
Thanks for coming back to upstate!

IAmAWomanNotACis · 06/07/2021 16:08

@ScaredNotAnxious

I can't believe there's a second thread for this tedious debate. YABU, he doesn't need your consent, the school don't need your consent - they pretty much just asked you as a courtesy in the first place.
Mmmm nah. Not very courteous to ask for permission and having been explicitly refused, go ahead anyway.

(I'm on the side of it makes no sense to refuse, but I completely understand the upset over what has happened.)

Alonelonelyloner · 06/07/2021 16:20

I think
a) at 13 he is capable of consenting to this (but that said I spent years writing a thesis on children's consent).
but
b) YANBU to complain about the situation.

I had a similar situation. My sons' were asked if they drink milk, they knew didn't. I was asked at the beginning of every term if I wanted to sign them up for daily milk (and pay). I did not. In fact I wrote on the form that not only were we vegan but one son was lactose intolerant.

I found out many years later that they were both given milk on a daily basis for the duration of primary school, as it was good for them and I didn't need to know about it. Hair raising. So yes I totally get the issue.

Sparklingbrook · 06/07/2021 17:13

Sounds like it's all sorted then.

ForeverSausages · 06/07/2021 23:31

I'm glad school are taking it seriously. It's played on my mind all day.

ObviousNameChage · 07/07/2021 07:37

@duckme

The member of staff who has been dealing with the testing of the pupils has called be back. He completely understood my concerns. And in no way did I get the impression that he considered me to be batshit, unhinged, 'That Parent' or controlling. He profusely apologised and said he would be reporting the incident to the head teacher and would be speaking the staff to ensure that this sort of speech isn't used again. He thanked me for bringing the incident to his attention as he said this absolutely should not have happened.
That's a good result and what I would expect to happen from a good school/professional staff.

You had every right to bring it up and get it clarified.

CoRhona · 07/07/2021 08:25

We had the situation where two separated parents gave conflicting permissions. One parent refused permission and the other insisted their child had the test (parental illness related).

ScaredNotAnxious · 08/07/2021 12:17

@IAmAWomanNotACis
Look at it this way. You're in a relationship someone and they ask you parents for permission to propose to you. Your parents say no, they ask you anyway and you get married. Do you parents have the right to kick-off?
No. The parents were asked as a courtesy - their rejection doesn't mean anything. Their opinion doesn't actually matter. If you and your partner (in OP's case, the student and the test provider) both consent then the parent's view is irrelevant. You're probably correct that it's not very "courteous" to ignore OP's opinion but she has no right to prevent her son accessing healthcare - he has a human right to access it.

ChateauMargaux · 08/07/2021 22:03

Thanks for updating. I am glad they are taking this seriously. It is important that we do not erode the safeguarding structures that are in place even if people do not agree with the effect they have in individual circumstances.

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