So I’m with a guy and we recently have a baby together. I have a couple of kids from a previous marriage and before we moved in together we agreed he would contribute so much towards the running of the house. So far we’ve been living together for over a year and I’ve had to nag at him to pay. And it’s only the last couple of weeks he is actually giving me something (even it’s not much and he never seems happy about it). He gave some money for the baby just before the birth to buy necessary things. He buys little bits of food shopping now and again but mainly gets stuff only he likes and it’s never regular. He helped towards buying a car (that he wanted) but I’m stuck with extra costs and repair costs. He works full time, I am currently on maternity. He would prefer if I stay home to look after the baby than opt for childcare. I pay all the bills and do all the cooking and cleaning etc., when I have brought up the topic he says that him being here is no extra work for me: I am not doing anything extra or paying anything extra and I was managing the things before he was here anyway. I’m practically broke every month and struggling, he does always ask if I need anything on his way home from work and he says if I need something to ask, but when I do ask I get interrogated and if he feels it’s not necessary he won’t get it or help. I don’t like asking him and I certainly don’t expect him to pay everything, also just to add I don’t expect anything from him for my other kids because their dad pays towards them. I am speaking about home hills, rent, utilities, food etc.,
. He says that I pay the bills and he saves.. but I have no say over his money or what it is getting saved for, he never discusses it with me.
But I feel like the struggle of the fiancial responsibilities are all on my shoulder and that we are not a partnership. He is always saving his money and is always buying himself designer stuff. My mind is so confused atm and I could really use some advice… as I haven’t had this experience before and don’t know what’s the norm for when a new partner moves in.
Just to add, there is no evidence of our relationship on his side of social media.. a lot of his family (aunties, uncles, cousins) don’t even about me and our baby. He is from a Muslim background and says that they will give us an eye and that they are not important. Personally I feel in my gut something isn’t right!!! like he isn’t committed to our relationship because of this and because of his lack of interest to accept or commit to any responsibilities. Am I being paranoid about this? Or overthinking? Advice would be greatly appreciated.