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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby's 1st birthday. Who to invite?

29 replies

LittleA456 · 06/07/2021 08:04

Hi everyone. My DD is tuning one in August so not long now and we are going to have a garden party but I don't have a clue who to invite as close family it is 30 people! And that's only with one other child (4yo) what am struggling with is I had two surprise baby showers so do I invite all my friends who attended them as well? As if so thats to 60 people almost and I didn't want a massive party just something nice and little. But also don't want to upset any one at the same time. What would yous all do?

OP posts:
Ostryga · 06/07/2021 08:07

I don’t think people will be that bothered tbh! It’s a 1 year old’s birthday.

For DD’s first birthday I invited her grandparents and godparents, we had cake and she fell asleep and they went home. It wasn’t all that interesting tbh.

emilyfrost · 06/07/2021 08:09

It’s a one year olds birthday party. The only people interested in going will be the grandparents. You don’t need 30 let alone 60.

CupOfTPlease · 06/07/2021 08:11

Agree with PP's.

I had my sisters, brother and their children and the grandparents.

60 is a bit extreme. Actually so is 30.

LagunaBubbles · 06/07/2021 08:12

I realise this is important for you but a few close family is all you need you are completely overthinking this.

HDready · 06/07/2021 08:12

I think it’s a bit miserable of other posters to say no one else is bothered/interested! Baby won’t remember but you will, and that first year of parenting is an achievement to be celebrated! 30 family is fine, I wouldn’t worry about inviting the baby shower friends.

Whinge · 06/07/2021 08:13

@emilyfrost

It’s a one year olds birthday party. The only people interested in going will be the grandparents. You don’t need 30 let alone 60.
This /\/\

I really don't mean this unkindly OP, but very few people care that your child is one. If you want a small party then that's fine. I really don't think your friends will be upset at not being invited.

Shoppingwithmother · 06/07/2021 08:17

Don’t invite anyone. There are not 60 people who will want to come to a 1 year old’s birthday party. If the grandparents want to come, then fine, but other than that why not just do something nice with just your baby and partner?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/07/2021 08:18

Your household
Babys grandparents
Babys aunts and uncles with their kids
Maybe your best friend if they want to come

Done.

UserAtLarge · 06/07/2021 08:20

If you just want something small then just invite the baby's grandparents. No one can be offended at not being invited to that. TBH I doubt most people would be offended anyway!

DappledThings · 06/07/2021 08:22

We just had grandparents

RLOU30 · 06/07/2021 08:25

Wow. 60 people 30 people even it’s lovely you have so many people who love you enough to come to a 1 year olds bday. (Hehe). My DS 1st bday was just me he’s dad and nan taking a stroll along the beach and some cake. He didnt have a clue obvs. Mind you most of my family are estranged or live 200 miles away.

IncyWincy21 · 06/07/2021 08:25

We had us, uncles, both sets of grandparents, my cousin and her DDs and my auntie. That's it.
Whilst 1st birthdays are special they don't have a clue or remember to just keep to people who are close to them.

Chocoqueen · 06/07/2021 08:26

I wouldn't be offended/upset if I wasn't invited to a friends DC's 1st birthday party, so don't feel you have to invite friends. But to say no one cares is ridiculous and harsh! I love my friends kids and would absolutely send them something and celebrate with them if invited! If numbers are a problem just do grandparents and possibly aunts/uncles.

Ostryga · 06/07/2021 08:35

60 people would be massively overwhelming for a 1 year old as well. Just keep it to people she knows well already, otherwise it’s no fun for her!

Crolisd · 06/07/2021 08:36

We had a big party for DDs 1st birthday- lots of people came and it was a lot of fun. We had some rooms with adults catching up and having a beer/coffee, some with kids playing/dancing (sounds like we live in a mansion but it was just kitchen, dining room, conservatory and living room!). I think about 40 people came. We put out a cold buffet and drinks and had some passs the parcels prepared plus a cake but it was fairly low effort. Ok DD didn’t take it all in but she loves looking back on the pictures now she is 3 (and living in a world where big parties like that are not allowed) and we all loved it.

Do what YOU will enjoy!

Original poster
LittleA456 · 06/07/2021 08:39

Thanks for the replies and to the people who have said people won't care half of them are asking if we are having on and half of them haven't seen DD yet because of covid! My DD won't remember your right but after the year every one has had people are looking forward to a bit normality and to see our DD for the first time. I would be more than happy to attend a baby's first birthday especially if I haven't seen them yet so for the people who wouldn't be bothered and don't care yous obviously are great friends

OP posts:
Youdiditanyway · 06/07/2021 08:39

Only invite people you know for a fact will be interested in a one year old’s birthday party. I know for some people that is their idea of hell Grin. My DS turns one in a fortnight and we’re just taking him out for the day and going for a meal.

GreenCrayon · 06/07/2021 08:42

Just a word of warning we had DSs first birthday in lockdown so it was just me and his dad. Even without all the guests the presents, balloon and cake were enough to overwhelm him and he found it all very stressful.

I would be cautious to invite so many people as its likely having 60 odd strangers in her face will be a very daunting experience for your daughter and surely her needs should be at the very centre of how the day is organised.

UserAtLarge · 06/07/2021 08:44

I would be more than happy to attend a baby's first birthday especially if I haven't seen them yet so for the people who wouldn't be bothered and don't care yous obviously are great friends

It's not that great to "see" a baby at a large gathering though. As that's what you literally do. You see them from a distance. You won't get to properly talk to your actual friend as they will be rushing round hosting and trying to talk to everyone.

If I was a good friend and wanted to see the baby/my friend, I'd be organising a separate meet-up. I wouldn't see a 1st birthday party as important.

MouldyPotato · 06/07/2021 08:46

Keep numbers small or baby will be overwhelmed. If people haven't seen baby yet then it doesn't have to be on their 1st birthday. They've waited nearly a year they can wait longer

Zari29 · 06/07/2021 08:49

Looking back I should have had just family like gp and your siblings there. I had so many people and it was a brilliant day , but I was so stressed trying to be host and trying to spend time with my 1 year old! And honestly it's only important to the parents and not many people are that interested.

Sciurus83 · 06/07/2021 08:51

Meeting upwards of 30 people who they don't know is going to be a lot for your baby at once. They don't all need to meet them on this occasion do they? Keep it smaller with close family and friends another time

mytwocats · 06/07/2021 08:58

would not even bother,we didn't,so no one lost out,quite ridiculous,it's like taking baby on its first holiday,they don't know who or what is going on pointless

CustardCreamm · 06/07/2021 09:22

Literally zero point in a birthday party for a 1 year old! My twins were 1 in May and they were more interested in the wrapping paper and definitely did not know it was their birthday Grin
We just had close family and friends over for a cuppa and lunch!

hawkehurstgang · 06/07/2021 09:26

Just very close immediate family. Anyone else would only be coming out of politeness/probably not be up for it really. I dreaded my nephews 1st birthday as birthday parties where the kids are too old to understand what's going on are so boring. And i love him!

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