Concerns about DS (2.5) sleeping habits on holiday

[Suitcasefullofdreams]

We’ve gone away for 4 nights with extended family.
He’s not going to sleep until gone 9pm because he’s too hyped up and waking up everyday at 5:30am! So he’s only getting 8/8.5 hours sleep! He’s then hysterical with tiredness about 11am but won’t nap for the fear of missing out and because we’re on the go doing things.
I’m concerned about this as I know he should be getting a minimum of 12-14 hours at his age.

I feel your pain OP. I think this is why we really haven't holidayed much over the years, it's just too stressful with small children. Even visiting family for a holiday it stresses me out. I know I need to relax more and let go of the routine, and I do when it's half an hour here or there but when it's YOU that has to deal with the fall out it's pretty difficult, like a PP said, I bet no one is offering to get up with him at 5.30am!

Just keep going, you'll be home soon and back to normal. Try to enjoy yourself too

If his grandparents are anything like my ILs he can't fall asleep in the car as they won't stop talking and winding him up, that's what mine do! I've been known to drop everyone off and carry on driving for another half an hour so they sleep for a little while.

I can understand your pain OP. I took DS away to America for 2 weeks at the same age to visit my sister. Some days DS wouldn't nap because there was too much too do (1 week at Disney world, 1 week at my sisters house) and he was so cranky by the end of the day, other days he would fall asleep in the pram due to sheer exhaustion but only have a short nap, or he would wake in the night because his body clock was all over the place. My sister was great, she was so understanding if we couldn't do stuff and would try and plan most things for the beginning of the day.
My parents were the compete opposite. I remember 1 day at my sisters house and she had gone for a nap as she was pregnant. My DS was getting cranky because he was due for a nap and my dad wouldn't allow us to take him up for a nap and kept telling him off for being naughty because his tantrums would wake my sister up. I really don't know why I didn't say anything but I just let him take over. When my sister came down she had a massive argument with my dad about it. Looking back I'm so angry I let my dad be in charge and wish I had done something.

Let the grandparents looks after him for a day and go and do something by yourself. Maybe he could sleep in their bedroom for a treat?

[quote Suitcasefullofdreams]@1940s because they keep deciding to go for a walk on the beach after dinner. I tried to keep him here last night to get him to sleep earlier but he started screaming because he knew his nanny and grandad weren’t here and that they were just about to go out and he wanted to go with them.[/quote]
It does sound difficult but I think you need to be the parent here. The entire trip will be better if he is adequately rested. Children tantrum all the time and we still have to do what we know is best for them

Nap in a pushchair/car?

Can you take him by yourself in the car or in the pushchair after lunch so he can nap without distraction? You need to take charge of what's best for your child so let them get on with what they want but tell them what you need to do.

[quote Suitcasefullofdreams]@1940s because they keep deciding to go for a walk on the beach after dinner. I tried to keep him here last night to get him to sleep earlier but he started screaming because he knew his nanny and grandad weren’t here and that they were just about to go out and he wanted to go with them.[/quote]
Say no? Ask GPs the say good night and pretend to sit down with a newspaper. Then you get on with bedtime.

@Suitcasefullofdreams

The issue with napping in the bed after lunch is that we’ve been out and about all day, so apart from the car, there isn’t really anywhere to nap. Also I’m told I’m being overbearing or being a spoilsport we we don’t need a ‘routine’ on holiday, according to extended family members, who either don’t have children of their own or haven’t had young children for a long long time.

I used to be told the same (usually by make family members who never had to deal with sleep deprivation). It takes some strength but simply say that a miserable toddler is no fun for anyone and you need some downtime if you're the one having to deal with the fallout.

You have my sympathies. Mine are all teens now but I remember how relentlessly awful it was!

Can you take the car after lunch and drive around to get him to nap?

The short amount of sleep for four days will hurt him, but it will make you miserable. People who haven't been parents for a long time forget how relentless toddlers are, especially when they and you are tired.

Alternatively you 'accidentally' let him open their bedroom door and wake them up at 5am...

Will not hurt him! FFS, sorry.

Tell the gp not to say they are going for a walk. Are you all staying in the same room that he sees them leaving?

It's difficult with family who won't make allowances for small children . We've been lucky with ours on holiday as he will nap in the buggy, which makes a huge difference. If you have a child who won't do that (or nap in the car), it's a nightmare.

The only advice I can give is to run him into the ground physically... long walks, running along the beach, climbing at every play park, swimming if available. Our "technique" for holidays is to wear our DC out in the morning, retreat to wherever we're staying for a late afternoon nap, take him out for dinner and then a late bedtime at 9/10pm. Because he's so physically tired, that works for us but of course all children are different.