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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breach of non molestation order

16 replies

Unknownname5 · 05/07/2021 22:43

Hello,

Firstly I apologise to post here as I'm not sure which thread this is meant to be on!

Very long story cut short, I have had to obtain a non molestation order against my ex boyfriend as he has been previously violent to me when we was together. The last incident was him smashing up my new car.

The order states I cannot be contacted.

He has now contacted me 3 times in the past 2 days on fake social media accounts.

How do I go about this? Is there even any point to report to the police as they most likely would need to have evidence its him sending them?

Really not sure what to do and quite scared now its been 2 months into the order he is now breaching it and may turn up outside my house

What would you do?

OP posts:
DismantledKing · 05/07/2021 22:46

Contact the police, every time. Make sure that they are aware of the situation and the order.

lanthanum · 05/07/2021 22:47

Tell the police. I'm sure they can log it even without evidence, and it may be helpful for them to be aware there is a potential problem, even if they can't take action.

rantymcrantface66 · 05/07/2021 22:49

Hmm, I contacted the police every time but in the long run as he didn't admit to it it wasn't acted on because anyone could have potentially sent the messages even when it was from his own phone or accounts let alone fake ones.

FortniteBoysMum · 05/07/2021 22:51

At the very least the police can remind him of the order. Along with pointing out they can track IP addresses which if it linked to him would be a breach of said order. Might scare him into thinking about his actions. I suggest blocking anyone from being able to find your account set it so only friends can contact you and that people cannot send you requests.

rantymcrantface66 · 05/07/2021 22:54

@FortniteBoysMum

At the very least the police can remind him of the order. Along with pointing out they can track IP addresses which if it linked to him would be a breach of said order. Might scare him into thinking about his actions. I suggest blocking anyone from being able to find your account set it so only friends can contact you and that people cannot send you requests.
The issue with this is there isn't actually any consequences so the more they get away with it the more they do it - and deny it. IP isn't relevant- someone else could have used the computer. It's shit bit like many things these only work for those who decide to adhere to them very often
CandyLeBonBon · 05/07/2021 22:56

@Unknownname5

Hello,

Firstly I apologise to post here as I'm not sure which thread this is meant to be on!

Very long story cut short, I have had to obtain a non molestation order against my ex boyfriend as he has been previously violent to me when we was together. The last incident was him smashing up my new car.

The order states I cannot be contacted.

He has now contacted me 3 times in the past 2 days on fake social media accounts.

How do I go about this? Is there even any point to report to the police as they most likely would need to have evidence its him sending them?

Really not sure what to do and quite scared now its been 2 months into the order he is now breaching it and may turn up outside my house

What would you do?

This happened to me. He was prosecuted and convicted. Absolutely report him.
TaraR2020 · 05/07/2021 23:01

Report him - if the order was made with powers of arrest, then the police will arrest him

Aquamarine1029 · 05/07/2021 23:04

If you don't report him EVERY TIME, nothing will be done. You must report him.

kittie01 · 05/07/2021 23:04

Contact the police. Here in Ireland it’s extremely difficult to get any form of order. You got the order so make sure to enforce it

Sunbird24 · 05/07/2021 23:06

You can set your security settings on FB at least so that only people you are friends with can send you messages or friend requests. Would suggest doing that on all your social media if you can to prevent him doing it again.
There are ways the police can prove it’s him, depending on how stupid he is. Somebody created a fake account pretending to be someone I worked with in order to try and ruin their reputation, but he used his own email address to do it. Pretty dumb!

Tickly · 05/07/2021 23:10

Definitely report him and then as others have said change your security settings. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 06/07/2021 08:00

My ex did exactly the same thing. The police can get access to the records, they may try to discourage you from pushing it, but it’s really important you take action promptly on each and every breach as otherwise he we will think he can get away with it and it makes it harder to force a strict line later.

Screenshots and call the non emergency line. Be prepared to have to punch it, most of the officers I had contact with were great, however one in particular was very dismissive as it was “just messages, so can’t be that upsetting”- this is of course bollocks, even if it is “just messages” they are the tip of a very shitty iceberg.

Be strong OP. I pushed it and mine needed up in prison for 3 month, that was partly down to other cuts against me, but I haven’t heard a peep from him now for several years so hopefully taught him a lesson about being a batshit dickhead. Hope you’re ok & keep talking.

rantymcrantface66 · 06/07/2021 08:36

@Keepingthingsinteresting I had the opposite experience. Police always very helpful and positive but then I'd get an update later saying he'd denied sending them or given a no comment interview so there was nothing more they could do.

Original poster
Unknownname5 · 06/07/2021 09:37

[quote rantymcrantface66]@Keepingthingsinteresting I had the opposite experience. Police always very helpful and positive but then I'd get an update later saying he'd denied sending them or given a no comment interview so there was nothing more they could do. [/quote]
This is why I have no hope for myself they don't do anything:(

OP posts:
Original poster
Unknownname5 · 06/07/2021 09:40

So reading your messages I decided to contact 101 last night, they just said a police officer will phone me ans then they will deal with him but he's been arrested many times and usually says no comment so now going by what the last lady's post said they most likely will let him off?

The messages weren't upsetting but it's very distressing for me.

OP posts:
Keepingthingsinteresting · 16/07/2021 17:16

How are things going OP?

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