To dread seeing people I went to school with?

[Fooldoththinkheiswise]

Every couple of years I end up attending an event (wedding, big birthday etc.) where I’m bound to run into people I went to school with. I absolutely dread the prospect of this and I don’t know why. I have a nice life with DH/DC and a job I’m proud of; I never ‘fell out’ with any of them (beyond normal teenage girl bitchiness), so I just can’t understand why I feel so nervous/self conscious in these situations.

I feel like an absolute freak for worrying about these events so much (sometimes before they’re even planned)! AIBU or do other people get this? I’m usually quite a confident person so just can’t understand why I feel the was I do.

If you have experienced this, please tell me how you deal with it.

I am sure you don't crime , also marriage and children can mask unhappiness (or at least aren't a guarantee of it). I know what you mean though. When I was struggling to find a career I stopped contacting one quite good old school friend because he was so full of his own success! Tbh I suspected he had a bit of a chip on his shoulder as he seemed to actively want his life to be better than mine, which I found odd.

I agree Shirley!

School definitely - I've changed so much since those teenage days (confidence mainly) but I know I'd revert back to the self conscious blusher I was back then - I love my college reunions however 😊

Same, but only because I'm embarrassed at how much weight I've gained. I'm actually surprised anybody recognises me

So nice to hear so many people feel the same! I suppose my next question is how do you deal with this? I can’t never attend friends’ events ever again, so how do I stop myself worrying?

One of the reasons I love living abroad!

YANBU. Other than my actual friends and a small bunch of wider acquaintances I actually like and have made an effort to keep up with, I avoid people from school like the plague! Friend and I keep a running tally of how many girls from school we avoid and who also seem to avoid us in the supermarket etc. It's always toe curling and somehow feels point scorey and judgey even if they're nice.

My boarding school has an old pupil day and I do actually go to it sometimes but I go with a group and stick with them. Other people seem to have the same pack mentality so we can all ignore each other bar a quick pleasantry, unless you see someone you actually want to talk to- which is rare. I avoid any event designed to get us mixing, although I am suddenly tempted to join the alumni committee... help.

I suggest we all return to this board for support whenever we unexpectedly run into someone from school or have to attend an event where we know we will haha