To want to shout at people that I don't have a eating disorder!

[GuineaP1g]

I've lost a lot of weight over the past year.

Gone from a size 22 to a size 12.

But I'm short (5ft) and so still at a size 12 my BMI is closer to obese than healthy.

And yet - now daily - I'm getting friends, family and even people who barely know me (school mums) giving me the "don't lose any more" "you don't want to get gaunt" nonsense.

Yesterday my sister told me I should ignore BMI now. My best friend told me I was too skinny.

The day before my mother in law said I can't possibly have anything else left to lose.

Etc etc.

It's really getting me down as I eat so much healthier than I have the rest of my life. Finally exercise. And yet my weight and eating is criticised more than when I had diabetes and was morbidly obese!

I am going to guess either keto or Fast 800 or something similar @GuineaP1g ?

Agree with previous posters. It's pure jealousy. You can tell when people are jealous of your weight loss, (and also somewhat bitter and threatened,) when they come out with the 'don't lose any more weight' trope. They are basically saying 'you're making me look bad, and you look better than I do now!'

It's not 'shock' and they're not 'worried about you.' The 'you're getting too thin, don't lose any more weight' brigade, are jealous, and pissed off that you are doing so well.

They won't admit it, because many of them don't realise it, but they are jealous and threatened by your weight loss, and how good you're looking...

And how rude and insulting and dismissive of all your hard work and effort, to say (or imply,) that you must have an eating disorder, just because you have lost weight. Bloody cheek!

@GuineaP1g WELL DONE! You go girl! Bet you look lovely.

Congratulations

May I ask what way of eating you are following and what, if anything, you've cut out? Thanks

Well done OP, it's tough to lose like that and it takes effort, you should be proud.

They're all inevitably jealous, ignore them.

For the record, I am going to take a wild stab in the dark at how the OP @GuineaP1g lost her weight.

Eating less...

and

Exercising more...

Just a hunch mind you.........

I don't think it's jealousy. But it is because in their heads, you look a certain way, and so when you have lost such a lot of weight, you look "odd" to them. When DH lost a lot of weight, I had to remind myself sometimes that no, he was NOT too skinny, but just that I was used to him having so much padding. But when I looked at him objectively as a man, and not as the DH I have know for a very long time, he was just a perfectly normal, slim, fit, athletic man.

It is extremely irritating though if they keep banging on about it. Personally I 100% would ditch BMI as it's not always helpful, but no one who is a size 12 is too skinny. Size 12 can be anything from - just perfect to a little overweight, but never too thin (and I'm a size 16 so I'm not speaking as someone who has my own size 12 axe to grind) but I am sure that you look amazing and, more importantly, feel amazing. Well done!!!

PS DH's weight comments improved once he bought clothes that actually fitted him and were purchased to flatter his new body!

People are just jealous and anytime someone makes a positive change they feel bad about themselves so they are negative about the change and attack it. If you'd always been skinny even let's say a size 6 no one would claim you had an eating disorder (just from your weight alone).

I wouldn't care too much about BMI. Everyone's body is different it's a very general thing and it doesn't work for everyone. Body composition and also where you store your fat are just as important as how much you weigh relative to your height (BMI). If you want to lose a bit more and you think it'll make you healthier and/or look better go for it. Just ignore the negativity unless it's coming from a healthcare professional.

What kind of things are you eating?
Is your meals they’re commenting on or just your appearance which makes them think you have an eating disorder?

I think a PP hit the nail on the head. You went from being morbidly obese to a normal, healthy size so they probably see you as slimmer than you are even though you are actually healthy.

Most people in our modern society have disordered eating. Most of us have body image issues and low self esteem due to media and marketing. These people are insecure and jealous. Don't let it rub off on you. Now that you have lost all this weight (well done btw!) your next goal should be your self esteem and resilience to other people comments. They are feeding the negative voice inside which is why it hurts to hear these comments. You need to silence that voice and drown it out with positive affirmations and reminders of why you are a great person, loveable on the inside and out.....whatever your size xx

Thanks all for understanding.

And I did Fast800 last August for the 12 weeks. Lost 3 stone 6 during those first 12 weeks.

Since then I've lost another 3 just by continuing what I learned during that process but much less strict. So now I don't count calories or weigh my food.

But I do intermittent fasting each day only eat lunch at 1pm and dinner at 6pm. No snacking between. And I no longer have bread/pasta/rice/potatoes.

As the carbs were what gave me the diabetes in the first place. Insulin resistance ruined my life really. So for me that's plenty of motivation to not eat the hideous amount of refined carbs I lived on for meals. (Seriously 4 bread/pasta meals a day plus chocolate and sweets in between.)

(Watch Fat Fiction on Amazon Prime - really changed my life)

I've of course had the odd meal/day off. Christmas/birthdays etc. But in all honestly nothing I've eaten on those days has made me feel anywhere near as good as shopping in "normal" shops, being able to cope on hot days, not being scared to run outside (I hated jogging while fat - just felt such a spectacle) does.

And the food I do cook and eat now is all so amazing and I don't have the guilt/regret/reflux I used to.

@toocold54

What kind of things are you eating? Is your meals they’re commenting on or just your appearance which makes them think you have an eating disorder?

I think a PP hit the nail on the head. You went from being morbidly obese to a normal, healthy size so they probably see you as slimmer than you are even though you are actually healthy.

Today I had salad for lunch topped with chicken in pesto and mozzarella balls. And some hummus that needed finished up.

For dinner I had bolognese (homemade with lots of veg in the sauce) on top of cauliflower and broccoli (family had wholewheat pasta) and then grated Parmesan on top.

And then I had a coffee made with coconut milk and a square of 90% Lindt.

YANBU. I had exactly the same comments.
I lost 5ish stone a few years ago and everyone that wouldn’t have dreamed to comment on my weight thought it was a green light to tell me exactly what they thought. I was frail I was gaunt I had gone too far . At the time I was still in the overweight category.

I still get it now. I’m not allowed to say I’m cold or hungry because I get ‘Of course you’re cold/hungry it’s because you’ve no meat on your bones.’ It drives me up the wall. I’d never dream of telling an overweight person that of course they’re too hot it’s because they’re big.

My best line of defence is to laugh and brush it off because there’s no stopping the comments unfortunately.

Most people I know who have lost a huge amount of weight retrospectively say it wasn’t done a sensible healthy way (myself included so no finger pointing or accusations here). If you have then congratulations, that is an amazing achievement.

One of my close friends lost a lot of weight recently and despite being a 10 looked gaunt. A few more lbs suited her so much more in her face. It’s all individual. I, on the other hand have a round face and big boobs and look bigger than I am due to that, especially on teams calls etc.

BMI isn’t especially accurate, but you know that. If you’re comfortable and happy with how’s its going then you know what’s best for you.

Awesome work there!!! Honestly. Congrats!

I don't think it's jealousy in most cases. I think it's because they are not used to you like this. As formerly morbidly obese, I can say that the difference can be massive (lol) and for some people... They just can't comprehend it.

It's like with hair. If you have super long hair for a very long time and then get mikado, people freak out how it's too short almost as if you nearly shaved your head.

Thought it would be Fast 800 ! Mentioned to someone at work that I was considering starting this WOE and they did the whole 'you cannot possibly survive on only 800 calories, it isn't safe ' thing, until I pointed out that I wouldn't be surviving on only 800 calories a day, my body would utilise the considerable ( BMI of well over 40 ) stores it has laid down over the years. Your body uses what is there, which is why you get smaller, it doesn't evaporate, mores the pity !

I think sometimes losing weight can get a little addictive and can tip over into obsessive thoughts which could be classed as a disorder. So I wouldn’t agree my comment was unhelpful. Merely wondering if the OP themselves felt like that might be the case.

As it is it sounds like she’s doing a great job so many congratulations 🎉

@NotExactlyHappyToHelp

YANBU. I had exactly the same comments. I lost 5ish stone a few years ago and everyone that wouldn’t have dreamed to comment on my weight thought it was a green light to tell me exactly what they thought. I was frail I was gaunt I had gone too far . At the time I was still in the overweight category.

I still get it now. I’m not allowed to say I’m cold or hungry because I get ‘Of course you’re cold/hungry it’s because you’ve no meat on your bones.’ It drives me up the wall. I’d never dream of telling an overweight person that of course they’re too hot it’s because they’re big.

My best line of defence is to laugh and brush it off because there’s no stopping the comments unfortunately.

WOW RUDE!

How have you managed to not tell them to fuck off?

I mean you live on cucumber and dust, so you must always be in a bad mood eh?!!

Jealous eeejits.

Well done by the way.

Oh, and I bet they don't say 'no wonder yer cold you got no meat on yer bones' to anyone who is the same weight/size as you, but has always been that size.

Congrats OP and congratulations! You sound very happy with your current lifestyle and eating habits so stick with it and stay happy. I sympathise with the reflux (it’s the best part of losing weight for me) and not being a slave to food (carbs really) is also very freeing. It is likely that because you have always been larger your family and friends believe that is your normal state but truthfully I think most just need time to adapt. I lost a lot in my early 20’s and got similar comments but when I put on weight it was over years so people don’t notice it so much. Let them get used to it and when they comment don’t get defensive but turn it round and say you e never felt better or healthier and your diabetes is in under control. Don’t let them put you off and get to a place you want.

Wouldn't it be love lovely if a woman's weight (and appearance generally) wasn't a matter for public consumption?

Some people need to wind their necks in.

I think people in the UK have a very odd idea of what a normal diet or normal weight is. Well done. Being diabetic is horrible and you have done the right thing by taking action.

OP, congratulations. It’s great that you are healthier and happier.

I wonder if people are really saying that you’re “too thin” for their
PERCEPTION of you? Rather than “too thin” objectively.

Could you say “I want to be a healthy BMI so have xyz more too loose then will maintain it by abc”. You moved from a fairly extreme diet to a much more gradual one already, so it doesn’t seem likely that you have a MH issue surrounding diet /weight /exercise (obviously Im no expert...!)

@TheVampiresWife

Wouldn't it be love lovely if a woman's weight (and appearance generally) wasn't a matter for public consumption?

Some people need to wind their necks in.

I would prefer if it was ok to talk about without all the dramas. My DH lost weight, all his mates commented and complimented and take piss out of each other's bellies etc.
I lost 50 kilo and "oh no I would never comment on women's weight". 😂🤦 I want kudos like him!

Don't let this annoyance sabotage you but do think about what your next life goals are to keep your momentum going - and spot any slackening off of motivation and get well practised at getting on track again. To be fair BMI is not a great measure, so just consider what makes you feel healthy.

@GuineaP1g as others have said, you’re making people feel uncomfortable because you’re changing something that they would probably like to change too. And lots of people are quite silly,/ignorant/really old fashioned in their thinking on diet.

If you haven’t checked out the bootcamp threads on the Low Carb topic here, do! There are lots of likeminded people who are knowledgeable about and properly understand the health benefits of the way of eating you’ve chosen to keep healthy and that’s working so well for you (sorry if you have already been on bootcamp/threads before, I have a terrible memory for usernames) They’ve just finished a bootcamp but they keep a chat thread going between so it’ll just be lots of chat about life/health/good food etc. Great group of people with a very positive approach to food and diet.

Congratulations on the fantastic progress you’ve made in getting healthy! 💐

What an amazing achievement!
I'd just give them a look like you're sick of talking about it now or jokingly say 'you do you'.
Well done op. Also wondering how you did it!!