Am I over reacting

[inmyshoos]

Is it ever OK to start a message with 'Er'? Someone I don't know, never met but about to embark on a mutual trust agreement with just responded to me with a message starting Er and I don't know if I'm being ridiculous but to me it comes across as rude and patronising.
Aibu? It makes me nervous and makes me want to back out of our arrangement.

Not really enough info there. I text er if I’m really not sure which way to take a text or if I genuinely don’t know how to respond.

How on Earth can anyone give an opinion with such little context?

Absolutely no idea

Yeah sorry didn't want to out myself.... She might be a mumsnetter

We both have pets, we were sorting arrangements. I asked would they be OK with my kitten being here and she said no, I said I can arrange care for him either at my house or he goes to a friend.... she responded er think we need to discuss this in person.

I have no issue with arranging alternative care for cat but find her response unnecessarily rude.

There is nothing at all rude about that. Yes, you are severely over reacting.

I think it just comes under the heading of conversational tone OP

Still not enough context at all to know remotely what you're talking about but (from the very little you have said) I can't see what's remotely rude.

It still doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I would err on the side of you are over reacting.

Yabu. I wouldn't take it as rude at all.

I suppose it makes a change from starting with 'So'.

Or the other one that seems to be getting more and more popular - starting a message with 'I mean'.

The latter I keep seeing creeping onto Mumsnet and it's making me develop a twitch

It sounds like they were using it in an 'umm' pondering kind of way rather than a confrontational way iyswim.

Think it's fine myself, she's just texting as she'd talk. Sounds like she's a bit confused with what you are asking, and thinks it would be able to discuss the matter(s) in person. I wouldn't be upset or think someone was rude if I received that text.

Now you put it into context though, it sounds as though she just types as she speaks.

Er I think that's fine.....sorry couldn't resist!

Er OK then.... Fair enough

I think it's a bit rude myself. I see it as almost a side-eye. Like she's suggesting you are being difficult.

Do you overthink every interaction this much? It must be absolutely exhausting!

YABU, its a nonissue and its not rude at all unless it was “Er, fuck off”

She probably just types how she talks

What?! Isn’t it like saying “uh” or “em” or “hmmm” to indicate uncertainty? I would definitely send something like “em ok I think we should talk about it - let me know when suits”

When you say you found it rude, what did you find rude about it?