What would you think of this person?

[MumboNo4]

NC as outing. Wrote a post about this person recently, just following up with this.

Basically, friend has moved to UK from another country and is lonely. I've befriended them and (IMO) went above and beyond to help them settle in over here, including taking them lunches to keep them company at home as we both work from home (just FYI, this person has never once offered to buy lunch, it's always me), taking them on nights out on the town, picking up 3 packages to post for them on 3 separate occasions (as they work the late shift and I thought I would help them out because I drive, so it's easier for me to pick the parcels up and post them off, and it would save them having to get out of bed early). I feel like I've really went above and beyond for them.

This week I posted back a mobile phone for them to return to Amazon. I, very stupidly, misplaced the receipt along with the tracking number. Friend wrote to me asking for the tracking number and, after looking for it, I explained that I couldn't find it but I would go to the post office and get a copy, as I know the date and time I went there (I've had to do this before with my own parcels after losing the receipt). I explained to them exactly what I was going to do to ensure they knew it would be sorted for sure. Friend replies "Okay" and I said "You're welcome lol". It was supposed to be a joke, but I think it's also my way of showing them that I'm a little exasperated with their lack of gratitude for the things I've done for them, and the fact that it's all extremely one-sided. They went on a full tirade at me because they were "pissed off" that I lost the receipt and that I didn't understand how annoying this was for them. I explained that it was my mistake and that I'm sorry, and that I'm going to sort it. I tell them that if, for whatever reason, the parcel gets lost and I can't get a replacement of the receipt (both extremely unlikely), I would give them the money from my own pocket. They insist that they have every right to be upset with me over this.

I can understand it's annoying, of course I can! I messed up, but I also offered to rectify it ASAP. I'm just a little thrown off my their attitude towards me over this.

AIBU?

I would think I wouldn't be being friends with them for much longer. Sort the phone issue out then start ignoring their calls.

I would personally wind the relationship right back, as to me this is not reciprocal - what prompted you to help them in the first place? Are they a family member or vulnerable in some way?

You don't owe them anything, and being nice or kind is all well and good until in turns into being walked over.

Ps. If they are simply friends, the relationship doesn't go on indefinitely- you both may have outgrown it, and there's no shame in that.

They sound like a rubbish friend

You've been lovely, but this doesn't sound like friendship. As pp said, back away. You're worth more than being used, it's your friend's turn to make some effort.

They sound quite selfish and I would look to get them out my life

I would cut off as of now except for phone.
I had this situation where l dropped kids to school picked up when needed, minded if necessary..was very sociable etc to a neighbour. I made one small error mainly due to her communication..she gave message to dh and not me and she ate the face of me. Unreal. I was shocked to my core at her reaction. Never again did l do a thing for her and her response was: what's your problem? I said l am not used to being spoken to like that. End of!!
Stop today doing things for her as she is very ungrateful and rude.

id block them

Wow. She’s a piss-taker isn’t she?

I’d wind up this friendship pronto OP.

Not your friend. You just do jobs for them. In return they're rude. Ditch her/him.

Time to resign as an unpaid PA.

It’s a bloke, right?

He thinks you should do work for him because you have a vagina. Tell him to fuck off.

Time to be less obliging. Only suggest the things you enjoy, and see if new friend is prepared to meet you half way. If not, I'd be elsewhere engaged.

...Yeah, time to stop making an effort. Not everyone is worth your time, unfortunately. I'd get the receipt, then stop bothering with them.

Tell him to fuck off.

And the whole paying for meals thing annoys me. Check the menu beforehand, decide what you want, take the money for your meal in cash and then stare at them when bill comes to pay their contribution. Really winds me up. Sounds petty I know but as a single mum with limited cash, I can't do with leeches.

I’d sort out the phone stuff then back right off.

They sound as though they are the reason they are lonely.

You can step back in the knowledge that if they have the baws to get mouthy at you, they have the baws to survive in the real world. The one without PAs.

I'd have cooled it off when it became clear she doesn't repay favours or ever pay for lunch.

Post the duplicate receipt through her door and ignore any further contact.

I think you'll feel relief.

Sort out the phone. Then leave them to it.

You sound lovely, but they're taking advantage of that.

Sort the phone out then move on

Is your middle name doormat?
I wouldn’t even sort the receipt.
Block and ignore.

They're not your friend, just using you. Don't bother with the receipt. Block their number and don't give them another thought.

The mood I'm in tonight I'd be telling them to feck right off.
If I was in a better mood this would be the end of the "friendship" they are taking the piss.
Life is far too short to entertain people like this.

Not a friend.

After you've sorted this one last thing, I would leave friend to their own devices! They don't appreciate you & what you do for them. You sound like an amazing friend.

Thank you all SO much for your lovely responses.

I have decided to cut this person out of my life, and realise my worth. Package was sorted and received, so it felt natural that this should happen.

I explained my reasons and they respected it, thankfully.