Does it annoy you when DH ignores your messages but replies to others?

[Sailingthroughtheweek]

Or AIBU. I text him an hour ago - he hasn’t replied. But he’s on W’app presumably replying to other people.

YABU - it wouldn’t bother you, I’m being over sensitive.
YANBU - it’s rude and annoying.

Did you ask him something? Sometimes I have missed a message on WhatsApp too if a few come from various chats at the same time.

I sent him a text, not a W’app, and I didn’t ask him anything to be fair

.. but I feel that he should be able to reply to my text message if he has time for W’app

What sort of reply are you expecting, if you didn’t ask him anything?

Sounds a bit needy to me.

more info required. he could just be thinking, I'll see sailing later at home. But I need to let them know I can/can't be there

I don't really text my DH unless I need to tell him something.

I've made a conscious effort recently to remember to text him during the day with a small bit of conversational stuff.

It's definitely rude. Nobody has enough people messaging them at once for a chat to disappear too far down to see. I'd call him and ask why he's ignoring the absolute love of his life

Maybe I’m over thinking it. I definitely would’ve been happy with just a thumbs up/ emoji response, it only takes a few seconds of thought, but he’s obviously too busy

But he’s on W’app presumably replying

How do you know he's even replying?
And even if he is, how do you know who is he replying to and why?

You are being very unreasonable I am afraid. If you want to speak with him, call him, or text him you need an urgent reply.

Are you always like that? Unless it's urgent, let him breathe!

MsRia good plan

@MsRia

It's definitely rude. Nobody has enough people messaging them at once for a chat to disappear too far down to see. I'd call him and ask why he's ignoring the absolute love of his life

In case you missed that, please be aware the poster is being sarcastic!

It depends. If it was something fairly important and I needed a quick reply then yes - although I doubt he would purposely ignore me so I’d then ring up to get an answer. If it’s just a ‘how’s your day?’ then no. He doesn’t need to put others on hold for that. But I’ve never presumed that because someone’s been on WhatsApp that they are spending ages taking to other people. They might just be checking messages.

I respond to messages in order of their required priority for a response. I rarely respond at all to messages from DP which just provide information such as “I’ll be home at 10pm.” I think the whole point of messages is that they’re for non-urgent correspondence and can be responded to at the recipient’s leisure: requiring that somebody reads your message and then responds within a timeframe of your own terms seems like the equivalent of standing in front of somebody and demanding a conversation regardless of what else they might be doing.

I wouldn’t know if DH is answering other peoples messages. 🤔

kindaclassy thank goodness you explained to to me

I am not being sarcastic, if my dh was actively on WhatsApp and didn't take 5 seconds to reply I would absolutely ring him and tell him to stop being rude. Feel sorry for the posters that feel being ignored so blatantly in a relationship is completely fine, you all should LTB x

So much. It's because they get drowned in his 500 family members😂 So i tolerate that

@Sailingthroughtheweek

Maybe I’m over thinking it. I definitely would’ve been happy with just a thumbs up/ emoji response, it only takes a few seconds of thought, but he’s obviously too busy

Let him know this, say ''if you're too busy to reply, can you just send back a thumbs up, it makes me feel better''

Do you repeat it all when he gets home? DH does that to me so I've stopped responding because if I'm forced into an action replay later I'm not wasting time now. Completely biased by my experiences, YABU!

MsRia you are my new favourite poster

So based on the responses I’ve decided that I am being unreasonable, however, I’m still irritated so I’m going to ignore all his messages and calls for the rest of the day.. and maybe tomorrow

@MsRia

I am not being sarcastic, if my dh was actively on WhatsApp and didn't take 5 seconds to reply I would absolutely ring him and tell him to stop being rude. Feel sorry for the posters that feel being ignored so blatantly in a relationship is completely fine, you all should LTB x

huh!?

Blimey, it must be suffocating! Are you always that needy?

I whatsapp with my DH randomly throughout the day, but it can take 4 or 5 hours to reply to each other if no urgent answer needed, that's the whole point of whatsapp and text!

Can’t get worked up about it, I sometimes read a text but it doesn’t require a response or don’t have time to reply and wait until I can.

I’m still irritated so I’m going to ignore all his messages and calls for the rest of the day.. and maybe tomorrow

are you 12?!?

I NEVER reply to messages, whether from DH or anyone else, unless the sender has explicitly asked me a question or sent something that clearly requires a response.

Otherwise where do you stop?

It's the text equivalent of the ending to a phonecall where everyone says bye to each other 5 times over.

Totally pointless waste of my time.

@Sailingthroughtheweek oh yes silent treatment is perfect make him buy you chocolate and watch shit tv with you to redeem himself, and make sure you have a toast to being 'needy'

MsRia excellent advice, I’ll follow it all