To not really understand why people care about men being older/women being younger in relationships?

[zenithfreedom]

I'm a woman and I've been considered a bit eccentric in many ways but this one sticks out the most.

I was talking to a colleague about dating and she said that she met this great guy when she went out for drinks after lockdown eased. Everything was going fine until she learned that he was actually two years younger (she's 23 and he's 21). She was polite but declined as she wanted to back to his house for a ons.

Now I think she's entitled to her preference as people are when it comes to dating but I wonder about this. It seems many men are reluctant to date women older than them (by even a few years) and women slightly moreso reluctant to date younger guys.

I've dated a few guys when I was a teenager. One was a year younger, the other was 2 years older and my last one was 2 years younger. I didn't find much difference.

Something that is brought up is maturity and I get why you'd be reluctant to date a younger guy in your teens/early 20s as even a year or two makes a big difference but as you get older, it's really not an issue is it?

Luckily for me the guys I dated that were younger didn't seem immature though they were loners and quite smart/educated orientated compared to me so that probably made up for it.

I think it’s simply social convention: it’s ingrained in us from an early age through various elements of our culture that men should ultimately take the lead and be the caretaker and provider in a heterosexual relationship, which usually also means him being older than his female partner. There’s also a lot of conditioning around age which teaches us that youth is a woman’s most attractive stage, and I suspect a lot of women are internally insecure about the idea of being eventually left for a “younger model.”

I’d imagine a two year age gap feels like a lot when you’re in your early twenties. For most people as they get older, I doubt it would even register.