How to help French friend in difficulty?

[ohthatbloodycat]

A friend of mine, who is French and living near Lyons, has got herself into considerable financial difficulty. She became depressed following a break-up a couple of years back, and stopped paying bills etc. A period of burying her head in the sand ensued, and now she owes a lot of money. What I can only describe as bailiffs have turned up at her sibling's door, asking where my friend can be found (she is living with a friend), and saying she is likely to be arrested. She is absolutely terrified and is spending her time crying and drinking.

I don't know what to say (my French is good, but not that good that I can understand these ramblings) or how to help. I listen to her, but feel something more proactive has to be done. She seems to be having a mental breakdown and is in no position to help herself. I'm worried about her, even though we're not close these days.
Please can anyone advise on what she can do. There must be a French equivalent of the Citizen's Advice Bureau or a government debt management scheme.
I am completely out of my depth here.
Many thanks.

Do you know them in real life?

I think you are making a mistake thinking you can offer practical help. You can’t.

Just offer sympathy, and only as much as you can give.

Well you’re not really very well placed to help her, to be honest.

Yes, we met at university years ago, and have had sporadic contact ever since (attended each other's weddings, etc).
Don't worry, she's not a random off the internet, and I have no intention of sending money!

She's had a very troubled past, and I just feel bad for her.

Thanks for the replies everyone, but it would be great to hear from someone who knows about the practicalities of these things.

If it were a good friend, I would ask her to stay, for a break from it all, but you don’t sound that close.

Surely if you just make the suggestion of seeking advice from a debt agency, describe UK mechanisms, prompting her to investigate the French equivalents, she could find that information easily?

If the alcohol is becoming the biggest barrier to sensible action, maybe suggest she addresses that first? Ditto depression?

She won't be arrested - bailiffs (huissiers) don't arrest people, they seize properties and assets.
They can also arrange payment plans. She should speak to the 'huissier' in charge of her file.
No one ends in jail in France for not paying bills.

She should also speak to an Assistante Sociale.

Do you have an idea of how in debt she is?

Can her sibling not help her? Are you living in France? If not then there's really not much you can do. You could advise her to see a gp to help her with her MH but you cannot make her go. Has she no other friends or family in France who can actually go to her and help? What about the friend she's staying with?

I’m not really sure if there’s much you can do in practical terms I’m afraid, even with the best intentions. Even if posters here gave you contacts/leads on the french equivalent of CAB it’s not like you can navigate it on her behalf. It’s so tricky when someone is struggling and we can’t help, but really her friends/family where she is are better placed.

www.lyon.fr/lieu/mediation/maison-de-justice-et-du-droit-lyon-nord

This might help. Free anonymous legal advice. But you know, only if she goes to see them.

In terms of specific suggestions, I just found this on an expat site;

www.connexionfrance.com/Archive/How-to-reduce-your-debts

Maybe the commission de surendettement des particuliers, is what she needs? I think all you can do is prod her in the right direction, though. There will be a limit to what you can do.

OP you sound lovely but overinvested and in ‘rescue mode’. You can send nice messages everyday and links to photos of puppies. But the rest she needs to do.

I’d agree with you that you need really good french to wade through this kind of information, though; written in verbal.

Also, if she's struggling with mental health and alcohol, she can check herself in in an addiction clinic, rehab centre or just psychiatric unit, she won't have to spend a penny if she's got "la Sécu" (french equivalent of NHS)

Some of these suggestions would work if she would sort it but it sounds like mentally it would be too much. Can you get in touch with her sibling? Cc them into communication? Best you sound like a good friend, I hope you can help.

@PersonaNonGarter

I think you are making a mistake thinking you can offer practical help. You can’t.

Just offer sympathy, and only as much as you can give.

Yip, lots of great links on here... her sibling can help too.. do not get heavily involved in something you may later regret.

definitely just be a listening ear if you want, but I dont think you should or could do much more than that. She doesnt need some sort of one off advice or legal help. She has serious issues that give her a chaotic lifestyle right now and that is not something you can fix and will likely drain you.

shes not going to engage with any government debt management scheme if shes turned to crying and drinking. I imagine her friends and family are better placed to support her where she is.
I have an alcoholic friend who I love dearly and gets herself into all sorts of chaotic situations, and ive honestly given up trying to do anything more than listen, and even then ive had to step back a bit as it was making me ill. Sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved, but somebody has to want to help themselves too and putting the work in. Otherwise its more like a problem doubled.