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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel this way about the hospital where I gave birth

6 replies

Lostandlonely94 · 04/07/2021 22:01

I know I probably am as it was over a year ago but I just feel really lost. I have said I would not stop foot in this hospital again if my life depended on it. I have had two babies at pinderfields & both ended up in EMCS’s.

My DD was born in late 2018, I went into labour at 4:30AM, with waters breaking first and contractions starting at about an hour later. I went to the hospital at 7:00AM and they told me my waters hadn’t broken, they kept me in though and they left me in a room for hours on my own and hardly checked on me until I was 4CM but it was 7-8hrs. They took me to the delivery suite again and gave me gas and air and no one showed me how to use it, no one gave me support by telling me to move around. I got to 10CM and they told me to start pushing and I pushed for an hour and a half. They then tried forceps because apparently she was in the wrong position & then it ended in a CS. This pregnancy had not been fun for me or easy as I had gallstones from about 4 months and they didn’t get picked up until my little girl was 3 months old. I’d lost 2 stone and 3 stone altogether by the time it was removed and I just think it’s disgusting that no one picked it up. No one thought that there was anything wrong with me.

I got pregnant with my DS the year after a month after the gallbladder was removed. The 12 week scan was when it started to go wrong. I had been on vitamins such as folic acid etc. since trying and was continuing to take them. I got told after the 12 week scan that some of my levels were high and that meant my son may have a high chance of downs so I got the test to make sure. I was already on aspirin and it came back that he did not have it. I was worried from the 12 week scan to the test that he had this and then when I found out he didn’t but they told me the test we had chosen to do increased the chance of miscarriage.

The 20 week scan came and we found out he was a boy, they told us on this scan that they were worried about the placenta and the scarring from my previous EMCS. There are also holes as well so they had to get feedback. It came back that the holes were placental lakes and they were apparently “fine” and the scarring and placenta was okay. The 28 week scan they noted he has was small and the 32 week scan they said he had hardly grown at all and I had lost some amniotic fluid and then i was admitted onto the ward as a result of the 34 week scan because he hadn’t grown at all.

The 34 week scan the Paediatric doctor told me they were going to keep him in for another 3 weeks so he was 37 weeks. I asked them what good that was going to do and they said he would be better instead which was ridiculous because I had stopped feeling his movements and he wasn’t growing.

OP posts:
Lostandlonely94 · 04/07/2021 22:08

He was born weighing 3 lbs 5 in January 2020. They said he was fine to come out of neonatal ward onto TC with me. We stayed together in a room but he wouldn’t feed from me so I had to express. They told me that he was fine after 10days and they discharged him even he only weighed 3 lbs 8 and be still wouldn’t feed from me but he took bottles fine for one day and then they said. We were home 3 days and then his blood sugar dropped so an ambulance had to come out. He stayed in for 5 days because he couldn’t maintain his temperature. We then got discharged and when a health visitor came out his belly had distended because he couldn’t maintain feeds and his bowels were sluggish (I told them this and again they didn’t believe me) they kept saying it was his stomach. This kept happening and eventually we got admitted to LGI where they tested his bowel for some rare disease. He got to his due date and he was fine started passing bowel movements fine.

I’ve had 2 EMCS’S and I am not entirely sure why they both happened. I am not sure why they didn’t listen with my son and why they didn’t listen to me. I don’t understand how they could discharge a baby at 3 lbs 8. I feel like my son would have died if it wasn’t for me fighting for him, the morning they agreed to do the CS, it was because I told them I would not be responsible for the pregnancy anymore and that I felt like he had disappeared.

Apologises about the length, I just feel it was all messed up and I am left blind sighted about it still

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 04/07/2021 22:13

It sounds like there's a lot going on there that has been understandably difficult for you.
Have you considered arranging a birth debrief/follow up to discuss this? Some people find it helpful.

Lostandlonely94 · 04/07/2021 22:35

I did have one after my DS was born but with COVID it was over the phone and she didn’t even have my notes present.

OP posts:
IceBearRocks · 04/07/2021 22:35

Jeez...... I was sent home with a child who couldn't feed from me, a bottle, doidy cup or syringe and anything that he managed to consume he vomited back up in minutes. We called the ward at 1am when ge had cried all day and night and the midwives laughed at us and said babies cry!! It wasn't our first !!!! We were not idiots!
Our boy is severely disabled, fed into his bowel, double incontinent, non verbal...... he has 3 very rare gene mutations.

Every day I need to advocate for him....trust mum!!!

Lostandlonely94 · 04/07/2021 22:48

@IceBearRocks I am so sorry to hear that your little boy was sent home when he was still so poorly. I know I should be grateful that my little boy had no lasting complications from being born early or anything but something just doesn’t feel right after all this time. It is still niggling at me that something could have been prevented.

The hospital when I was pregnant with my first dismissed the gallstone attacks as back pain and they told me if I thought that was painful then wait until I went into labour. According to my DH i curled up into a ball when I was having contractions and I wouldn’t move for love nor money because I was so scared. I will admit the gallstones is still the most painful thing I have ever experienced but I think it affected my mentality towards labour so I was petrified but if I had known what was wrong I could have maybe handed myself a bit better, no one even thought to ask me to get looked at or anything.

OP posts:
IceBearRocks · 05/07/2021 08:02

@Lostandlonely94.....Unfortunately we have to go back to the hospital regularly and we stay on the children's ward far too often that I'm now friends with many nurses.... in 2019 he had a chest infection and they struggled with treatment. He developed sepsis and was taken to a larger hospital. Ventilated for 3 weeks..... Unfortunately they provide the health service we need so what can you do?
I so please your little boy has no ongoing conditions....it always leaves a bad taste in your mouth though!

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