My life

[LovesLags123450]

I hate the way I am an I hate how much Iv changed. I feel like all I do is shout an I'm sooo tired it's unreal. I used to be such a patient person. I can't believe how much Iv changed I don't know who I am anymore I really
Don't. I hate who I see in the mirror it makes me sick. I jus want the old me back. I'm always sad always angry always upset. Why can't I just be the old me the happy me. Everyday I promise myself I'm going to change it's going to be a good day. That never happens. Something so small just triggers me an that's it whole day is ruined by my sadness. I don't know how much longer I can take this. It's taking over me. I hate myself soooo much. More than words can describe. I have no idea why I'm writing this. Maybe it makes me feel
Better writing it all down. I don't know. I think Iv finally given up.

Have you spoken to your GP? Antidepressants or talking therapy might help.

How old are you OP? What in your life is making you feel like this? Assess your life.

Maybe start of with some small goals that you like to achieve.

Hope you find a way to feel better about yourself soon x

Have you talked to someone in real life about this?
Do you know what has triggered the changes?
What one thing could you do today that would make you feel a little bit better?

Obv, without knowing more about your situation, it's hard to give advice. For me, when I have felt like this it is when I have been quite mentally unwell, and a trip to the GP and medication have made things so much better.

How old are you ? Any chance it’s peri menopause ?

I'm 27 and I have my DD who is 2. She isn't the best sleeper an I think that has an impact too. I love her so much but I just feel like I'm constantly shouting and trying hard to keep the house clean have dinner cooked and keep on top of eveything. She's the best thing in the whole world but I just don't understand why I still feel so lonely. I'm always sad and down I just don't understand when I have so much to be grateful for she the most loving child ever. Yes she is a lot of hard work because she's in the terrible 2 stage. It's hard to speak to people in real life because I feel they wouldn't understand. I feel like the worlds crappest mum and I just don't know what to do anymore

You sound depressed to me OP, have you sought any help from your GP? If not, or if you have but don't feel it's been successful, can I suggest you ask someone you live with, who knows how much you've changed, to come with you and help you explain things. The reason I say this, is that when I first started suffering from depression, when I spoke to anyone outside of those I lived with, I would always make out like I was fine, even when I knew I wasn't and even when I went to the GP about it, when questioned I would make out that things weren't as bad as they were. I then took my husband with me, and suddenly everything changed, as he was able to articulate what I couldn't.

Antidepressants, start with the lowest dose possible. No point suffering like that,you sound depressed

Do you have a DH or DP at home ?
Do you have family nearby to give you a break ?

What real life support do you have? If there’s someone you can reach out to I would encourage you to do this. I’d also encourage you to speak to a GP.
These past couple of years have been incredibly tough and have impacted a lot of people. Parenting a toddler is tough going too a d no doubt you have your own issues that you’ve been dealing with too. Add it together and it’s a heavy load to carry. No wonder you’re struggling.