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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

33 still cannot afford a house

88 replies

NoFrills01 · 04/07/2021 20:32

I feel so low at the moment, my dream is to have my own home

Our child goes to an incredible school, we both have good jobs in terms of job security, our joint income in 50k we have 30k + deposit the housing market is just ridiculous at the moment, we cannot move too far out because we only have one car, currently I'm able to take child to school and work partner car shares with his friend.

I'm consiering getting a weekend job something to make more money, I feel so embarrassed to not have my own home.

I'm saving as much as I can every month, no treats in any form really to add to the point just feels so miserable at the moment. I'm not sure what to do, we have tried every mortage company the highest we got was 233k which I don't believe average was 217k which doesnt get anything

OP posts:
Itsprobablynotcominghome · 04/07/2021 21:19

Presume you already have.

But flip £8k per tax year into £10k using LISA. It’s not great but it might help a bit.

ginbramble · 04/07/2021 21:22

I never understand when people don't know what to do because they can't afford to buy in the nice area they rent in. It's a choice... stay renting or move somewhere cheaper! A lot of people have to start the housing ladder somewhere that isn't their ideal location... but that's the choice made to get on the ladder 🤷‍♀️

Itsprobablynotcominghome · 04/07/2021 21:25

@ginbramble

I never understand when people don't know what to do because they can't afford to buy in the nice area they rent in. It's a choice... stay renting or move somewhere cheaper! A lot of people have to start the housing ladder somewhere that isn't their ideal location... but that's the choice made to get on the ladder 🤷‍♀️
Exactly. Someone’s got to live in the shit areas. And who is going to buy all these fossil fuels if people can just work near to where they live, and not spend 1 hour each way driving to work?
Tealightsandd · 04/07/2021 21:25

It's not your embarrassment to have. That lies with successive governments who wanted to push house prices up.

Fingers crossed for you and everyone else in similar positions as a FTB (and would be upsizer who's outgrown their starter home) that Rishi Sunak doesn't become PM. He significantly worsened the problem with his stamp duty holiday. It further inflated the unsustainable bubble AND lost the taxpayer billions at a time of economic vulnerability.

People telling OP to move somewhere cheaper. Aside from practicalities like support networks, travel to work, and childcare, there's also the issue that if loads of people move somewhere cheaper, it will push the prices up there... and will no longer be cheaper...

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 04/07/2021 21:26

Where do you live that it won't buy you anywhere. I live in a SE commuter town and my flat is currently on the market for £180k. It might not be what you're looking for but it shows that it's more that you can't buy what you want rather than can't buy at all.

BarbarianMum · 04/07/2021 21:26

Lots of people wouldnt be able to buy a house at 33 if they had children first. It makes things much harder.

In your situation OP I'd look at buying further out and getting a second car if needs be.

MrsRobinsonsAffair · 04/07/2021 21:26

Could one of you use public transport? Perhaps you could consider a flat to help you get on the ladder, or shared ownership.

PerciphonePuma · 04/07/2021 21:30

If you have a 50k income and a 30k deposit the. You can afford your own home! Just not where you want it!

I'm 36 and renting still! That's because I'm chronically ill so had to give up my career and then ended up a lone parent (through no fault of my own).

This may not have intended to be any kind of stealth brag, but please think of the positions others are in when you're complaining of only having thirty thousand pounds in the bank with only fifty thousand pounds coming in each year Hmm

Dobbyafreeelf · 04/07/2021 21:31

@BarbarianMum

Lots of people wouldnt be able to buy a house at 33 if they had children first. It makes things much harder.

In your situation OP I'd look at buying further out and getting a second car if needs be.

Having DC is not the problem the system is. I'm 32 and will never be able to own my own home and will therefore not be able to have kids.

Until second home ownership is banned and we stop this utter capitalist madness home ownership and any form of fairness in society is out of reach

PerciphonePuma · 04/07/2021 21:32

@July2mebabywouldJuly2me

Bit why have DC before you've bought a house?

Genuine question.

Since WHEN did home ownership become such a 'requirement' before having children?!?! Utterly ludicrous
BarbarianMum · 04/07/2021 21:36

Lots of people can by though, if they do it before having children. Some can never afford to buy but luckily you dont need to be able to buy before starting a family. Generations have grown up fine in rented accommodation, which is still the norm across many parts of Europe.

There's a job to be done about providing secure, decent long term rental properties but it shouldn't be necessary to have to buy a home to have somewhere decent to live or raise a family.

Sparklesocks · 04/07/2021 21:36

@July2mebabywouldJuly2me

Because having children is a natural part of life, and our crazy unequal fucked up capitalist system shouldn't preclude people following their natural desires?

No but they could delay having DC until they'd bought a house.

For a lot of people owning a home isn’t possible for a good number of years due to how much they need to save vs how much they’re paying in rent etc. Some might never be able to do it. Not everyone is able to put their life on hold until then.
lurkermum · 04/07/2021 21:41

My situation :- both 40+ Very good jobs. Combined income of 80K +here. 3 kids - one independent. Can’t buy a house. Zero deposit . Credit history battered to buggery due to bad choices when younger and some things out of our control.
I very much doubt we will ever own a house/ mortgage.

Not everyone is living the property dream on mumsnet. I hope this helps you to normalise your experience.
Total hats off to the fact you have a fantastic deposit and are in a good position.

We are fuckd when it comes to property ownership frankly.

Tealightsandd · 04/07/2021 21:42

Also though. There should be no shame in renting.

It's the norm in other countries. The problem in the UK is 40 years of very poor government wrt housing. Successive governments pushing home ownership, the lack of security in renting.

What we really need in the UK is to follow the lead of some other countries. More social housing, and better security and protections in renting. That's how to tackle the housing crisis. Not more silly bubble inflating schemes, that use taxpayer money to help developers push up house prices.

PotteringAlong · 04/07/2021 21:44

Well, where do you want to buy. I don’t believe for a minute you cannot get anything at all for over £200k

ssd · 04/07/2021 21:48

Depends where you live really

ChewedClickyPen · 04/07/2021 21:49

Hey OP, DH and I bought our first house last year, I was 39 at the time.

It helped that we wanted to move out of the area we rented in (ridiculous house prices there), but had we wanted to stay we would not have got much for our money.

We have a shorter mortgage term, which does mean we are paying more out now but we are saving a fortune on interest.

My advice is to consider other areas and be flexible with what you want.

Stef92 · 04/07/2021 21:53

Speak to a broker as they will have access to all of the market and maybe able to get you in with a more quirky lender that could consider more but that would likely see a higher interest rates.

There are other options to explore with shared ownership - you buy a share in the property, say 50% and then pay rent on the other 50%, when you come to re-mortgage or are in a position to do so you can purchase the rest of the share.

Or there is the help to buy scheme - this has recently changed and I'm not as clued up on the new scheme since I'm on maternity leave at the moment but this used to be just for new build flats or houses and they'd contribute 20% of the purchase price or 40% if you are in London. Again, you can purchase the share when you re-mortgage or are in a position to do so.

Sleeplessem · 04/07/2021 21:55

@Bellringer

Use help to buy, interest only mortgage, yes a broker
You need a repayment vehicle for an interest only mortgage, something like an investment/ pension or something that is equal to or greater than the purchase property value. Doesn’t sound like that is an option here xx
Dobbyafreeelf · 04/07/2021 22:00

@PotteringAlong

Well, where do you want to buy. I don’t believe for a minute you cannot get anything at all for over £200k
Believe me where I am £200k won't get you much if anything at all. Prices have risen 20% since last summer. Not everyone can just up and move to cheaper areas!
thriftyhen · 04/07/2021 22:04

It is just so much more difficult to buy a house when you already have a child. Not only is there the added cost of that extra person, but your requirements are greater, ie near to a school, more than one bedroom and possibly some outside space.

But if you can cope with a studio/one bedroom flat in a not such a good area which needs doing up then that's your foot on the property ladder which is how many people start and usually before having children.

FTEngineerM · 04/07/2021 22:05

👀 we bought (4bed) with a messily £7k deposit and £50k joint income.

Perfectly nice house after some work.
If you’re not prepared to change area then it seems you’ll struggle.

People don’t usually get the nicest house/car/whatever the first time round.

FTEngineerM · 04/07/2021 22:05

Measly *

Sleeplessem · 04/07/2021 22:05

I used to work in mortgages and as a very rough indication a lender will typically lend you around 4.75x your income, often less for higher LTV. So that’s over 235k but this isn’t taking into account affordability. You can get an agreement (or decision) in principle online that will show you your ‘buying power’.

Not sure of where you live? But there are a few things you could do if you really want to get on the housing ladder, shared ownership, HTB equity loan or a fixer upper for instance (although be very careful with any property bought at auction.

If monthly payments (for now) are an issue, a longer term can be considered initially, term can always reduced at a later date to save interest.

MiaMarshmallows · 04/07/2021 22:08

You're lucky you are able to rent,have a child and a partner etc.
The grass is always greener. Not trying to tell you that you can't feel frustrated but I have a relative in their mid thirties, chronic illnesses, single, low paid new job and she's had to move back with parents. She would love to be in your position.

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