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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU Football club changed and not happy...

16 replies

ConfusedFootieMum · 04/07/2021 06:30

I have NC'd as this is outing should one of the other parents from the club be on here.

Sorry its a long one, but any football mums on here I would really appreciate your opinion!

Anyway....my child's club have moved the whole team from one club to another, the manager has fallen out with those that are running it, we were all asked if we wanted to go, I didn't really reply an answer as I told them we were thinking about it and would discuss it with our child, then it was decided. I wasnt happy and still aren't as I find it really unprofessional that a whole team needs to move because he has fallen out with the people running the club and to me its like, I will spite you and move the club.
Anyway my concerns about moving are:
The new club, are not as established as the previous club. It was a well known club in the area, its nice all the kids have pride in we have played for X club. Its not a major name or anything just very known in the local community (and everyone can get in so no bragging rights, if people think i mean that way.)
The old team provided the whole home and away kit, with the new team there will be only one. Not yet provided.
We are playing a friendly next week and the old team are being awkward saying we need to move names before then (why they needed to be told last week instead of after the game i will never know...raised this got no explanation) its like the manager is to an extent trying to punish the old team but i feel its at the expense of our kids. So they are getting us old kits from the new teams.....until we find out they are old tops and no shorts or socks. We are going to either provide our own or wear the old teams. Now whilt i dont care about paying, I do care that I am having to. We were told all this would be provided by the new team and weve paid subs direct to the manager for 12 months, there was money left over so why can't that provide socks and shorts.

There are other things too, like when we got the talk, we were assured sponsors would come over, a few parents got a lot of sponsorship approx 2-3 months ago. But now we have been told the companies won't be advertising on the tops, as its always been it will be a logo on the clubs website....I feel its starting to unravel already.

I feel like weve been told so many things about the new club and its just not going to be true really. I am really skeptical with this and not sure what to do for my child. OH is no help, he isnt bothered but i am as it feels they are moving backwards from an established team to a start up.

But obviously my main concern is my child, when all this was going on i gave them a choice stay with your existing team mates and move or play for another team within the old club, they wanted to move to another team then decided otherwise when OH had a chat....he gets on well with the manager and I feel like thats the main issue, he is deciding what he wants not whats best for our child (hes a selfish arse, I am well aware but i sort the child out in everyway because i try to be impartial about my feelings towards anyone else and whats best for my child) now my child wants to stay with the existing team members.....

Am i being unreasonable not being happy about the move to another team and feeling like its a move backwards?

OP posts:
DeathStare · 04/07/2021 06:46

I have quite a bit of similar experience.

The new club, are not as established as the previous club
Unless the old club was an academy attached to a professional team, this really doesnt mean a lot in kids football, so I wouldn't worry in the long term.

We are playing a friendly next week and the old team are being awkward saying we need to move names before then (why they needed to be told last week instead of after the game i will never know...raised this got no explanation)
This is completely normal. The new club needs to register the players with the FA (and it takes a few days for that registration to go through) before they play. If they don't they won't be insured. This isn't awkward at all.

weve paid subs direct to the manager for 12 months, there was money left over so why can't that provide socks and shorts
Those would be subs to the old club. Those subs don't belong to the new club.

I feel like weve been told so many things about the new club and its just not going to be true really
It takes a while go get these things sorted. It won't happen overnight.

now my child wants to stay with the existing team members
If your child wants to stay with existing team members that sounds reasonable. It's a good sign that they are happy in the team and that's what counts. My DC would be the same.

FortunesFave · 04/07/2021 06:48

Honestly? You sound INCREDIBLY over-invested. "We're" not playing anyone...the kids are. Seriously...all this hand-wringing over a game!

DeathStare · 04/07/2021 06:51

Also.... I'm not sure what you by a move backwards ? What us it you want your DC to get out of this? Do you want them to have fun playing with their friends, or do you want them to become a professional footballer? (and if so is that realistic?) What is it your DC wants?

My DC have played football for many years for various teams and as long as they enjoy it I'm happy. I'm not sure what a "move backwards" means.

ThinWomansBrain · 04/07/2021 06:54

Is the manager doing this as a paid role or a volunteer?

Clickbait · 04/07/2021 07:00

OP, I have two sons aged 11 and 15, both have been playing club football since they were 6 and I definitely recognise this scenario! It happens all the time in my experience - team managers falling out with the club management, teams moving and starting new clubs, I've seen all of this happen. I don't know why it's like this - it doesn't happen with the other sports my DC play. I think because football is so popular there are so many teams within each club, and it gets a bit out of control.

When this happened to my DS1's team three years ago we chose to stick with the club and move to a different team. But that's not necessarily the best/only decision - it worked out fine for DS, but the boys that moved are also fine I think, still playing as a team for the new club.

As long as your DS is happy that's the main thing.

rjacksmiss · 04/07/2021 07:01

As long as your kid is happy and enjoys playing and gets on with his team mates. If he's not having fun or enjoying it, then you have a problem.

I would be asking for assurances regarding training grounds and nights come winter time though. Usually winter training will already be booked by clubs by now

X

Clickbait · 04/07/2021 07:08

I don't think you're over invested by the way. You're the one paying the subs! It's natural to worry that this new set up seems a bit precarious compared to the established old club.

Sloaneslone · 04/07/2021 07:08

I think you are making a big fuss about not much really.

This isn't unheard of. Manager wants one thing, the organisers want something else and there's a split. The players decide who they are going with. The club or the manager.

And of course its going to take a while to sort.

But, you are speaking about them as though they are a professional club. What impact does it have, if the club isn't as well known?

As for sponsers, some may follow some may not. The club will get more. You talk about pride in the club, the kids can have pride in building a club up.

You seem convinced that your child would have preferred to stay with the club than move with his team, and it's yours ohs fault. Most kids I know would prefer to stay with their team.

On all honesty, it seems like the issues here are more about yourself, father than your son or the team.

girlmom21 · 04/07/2021 07:11

Is this grassroots football? What level are we talking here?

How olds your child? What do they want?

ConfusedFootieMum · 04/07/2021 18:00

Sorry for the delay.
Thank you for your comments especially those with experience.

My child has said initially they want to stay with the club but change teams, now they spoke with oh (who wants to stay with the team) and they want to move with the team. Kids are just fickle.

Tbh i am not overly invested, i want what my child wants (to an extent obviously)

I am worried that what was promised when we were approached to move the team will not be delivered.

I have decided as it is grassroots that i will give them a chance to provide what was promised but its already falling short and if it doesnt work out my child can move. Its not the end of the world now I know they can move in the middle of a season (I believe) thats what i was worried about it not working out and being stuck with the team under false pretences.

And I use the term "we" as its easier its not like I am playing on the pitch although i do pay and attend all sessions so I believe i have a right to an opinion on the situation.

Thank you

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 04/07/2021 18:07

Can you solve the problem by finding another team, one that’s not connected to your old-old or old-new team?

RedHelenB · 04/07/2021 18:46

In my case its my son continually wanting to switch teams!.starting anew at a different Club altogether might not be a bad shout.

MareMare · 04/07/2021 19:02

This sounds like a huge amount of drama about something that happens with regularity in kids’ sports.

Member589500 · 04/07/2021 19:10

This reminds me of my brother’s long explanation of why he got tired of putting so much time and energy into managing a children’s football team. It was a 2nd full time job and he got sick of the parents

GoWalkabout · 04/07/2021 19:11

This is football. Its just like this, so much drama. Each team seems to develop and move forward with a coach so surely there's no guarantee that there would be a team or a coach for your son if you had chosen to stay. Why not go with the flow and move if it goes pear shaped. Really, you are at the mercy of the people who give up their time to run it. If the majority say OK then you don't have a lot of choice. I had a love hate relationship with it - dd learned so much and they helped her so much in some ways but the people involved were so annoying!!!

ConfusedFootieMum · 05/07/2021 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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