Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it strange that boyfriend adds so many random people on social media when he doesn't know them?

30 replies

thenorthernlights · 03/07/2021 22:36

He seems to accept all
Requests, many of whom are bots . Then he deletes them when he realises they're bots or cam girls ?
Is it just me that only accepts friend requests from People that I actually know ? For Context he plays an global interactive computer game through social
Media and many of these are connected to the game . I am really clueless about gaming and interaction. We have a solid relationship . I've no reason to doubt him but with this activity, I do wonder what's going on ? Please enlighten me ! Thanks

OP posts:
MouldyPotato · 03/07/2021 22:37

He's just collecting friends on social media. Is it twitter? People like having twitter followers

Original poster
thenorthernlights · 03/07/2021 22:44

Yes I think you're right. He has hundreds of them ! I guess I don't understand the need for that ! It's like a hobby.. he accepts ten requests then deletes some and adds others . Is this a thing???

OP posts:
Original poster
thenorthernlights · 03/07/2021 22:45

No it's Facebook mostly . I get requests now and again from
Random men on ig. No idea who they are, how they ever saw my account as it's private . I delete straight away . Maybe we are just different!

OP posts:
Original poster
thenorthernlights · 03/07/2021 23:13

Anyone else who could shed light on this please ??

OP posts:
FaceyRomford · 03/07/2021 23:18

Most of the "friends" I accept are guys who have a link through a hobby site.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 03/07/2021 23:18

Some people just do that 🤷🏻 i know someone with 4k friends... I have like 50. Each to their own

No one here can tell you why he does that. Ask him.

HilaryBriss · 04/07/2021 00:00

You said it yourself, he plays an online game through social media and most of his friends are connected through that. Many online games require you to have 'friends' or 'neighbours' in order to progress so lots of people add strangers who also play in order to get their numbers up.

Original poster
thenorthernlights · 04/07/2021 00:07

Oh ok
Thanks
For Explaining. I'm Really Clueless but now relieved ! Thought I had a Jekyll and Hyde on my hands .

OP posts:
HeadFullofRandom · 04/07/2021 01:01

If they were all women's accounts I'd be concerned but if it's a free for all, and given the gaming circs, I wouldn't be.

Original poster
thenorthernlights · 04/07/2021 01:16

No not all women but still some Dodgy female accounts

OP posts:
safariboot · 04/07/2021 02:51

Some people make friends then add them on social media. Others add people on social media then make friends with them. Your boyfriend is obviously in the latter group.

I think it's stupid and liable to get him in trouble when someone publicises his posts, but it's not an uncommon thing.

Original poster
thenorthernlights · 04/07/2021 12:05

Can I ask what you mean by someone publicises his posts? What happens normally???

OP posts:
HeadFullofRandom · 04/07/2021 18:01

@thenorthernlights

No not all women but still some Dodgy female accounts
I would be upset by that and would have a conversation about why I found accepting dodgy female accounts unacceptable.
safariboot · 05/07/2021 00:54

@thenorthernlights

Can I ask what you mean by someone publicises his posts? What happens normally???
As in, he posts something that's viewable by friends only, and someone takes offence either at the time or dredging it up years later, and they screenshot it and post it publicly with the aim of stirring up an online mob to attack him.
Original poster
thenorthernlights · 05/07/2021 15:22

Ok thanks. This is all new to me as I don't
Really understand bots . These accounts seem fake and the 'friends' have no listed followers and when opened, there are links to porn sites ... always the same link as the other accounts .
These are clearly bots but I don't know how it all works . Can anyone enlighten me
Please !

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/07/2021 16:41

What is it you are worrid about exactly?

CounsellorTroi · 05/07/2021 16:53

No I don’t accept requests from people I don’t know unless they are already friends of DH and he can vouch for them!

Whanganui · 05/07/2021 17:00

I’d think that most people do this as there’s no way that they have 1000’s of friends. They just wanna be popular.

Original poster
thenorthernlights · 05/07/2021 17:05

I suppose I don't understand it all! Random friends being added without him knowing them and then they seem to be fake accounts with or without links to porn. Why do people set these up? More interested now than worried . Initially I thought it was strange that he had befriended people he did t know from
The online gaming community . Now it seems that the latest friends he's accepted all have political views in common and many are linked to porn sites and or extreme political factions. These accounts have few followers, no photos etc .
It's new to me and o wanted to understand what bots are and why they exist ???

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/07/2021 18:02

You're thinking about it in terms of 'friends' liked on Facebook, but on Instagram you follow people rather then friending them. He hasn't had any engagement with these pages, if he has it won't have been from the person in the pictures. So he's not, I don't think, interacting with them in any real way.

But he is the kind of bloke who follows random bots just because there a boobs in the profile picture and does so publicly therefore isn't even keeping their level of ickiness that secret, so I would by waving him goodbye!

It's just so cringe of him IMO, looks so teenage to be that desperate to look at boobs when the internet exists!

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 05/07/2021 18:14

Some people add random people, wait for them to add them back then unfollow them with hope that they don’t notice and just continue following - giving the original person more followers than people followed.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/07/2021 18:18

@youvegottenminuteslynn

You're thinking about it in terms of 'friends' liked on Facebook, but on Instagram you follow people rather then friending them. He hasn't had any engagement with these pages, if he has it won't have been from the person in the pictures. So he's not, I don't think, interacting with them in any real way.

But he is the kind of bloke who follows random bots just because there a boobs in the profile picture and does so publicly therefore isn't even keeping their level of ickiness that secret, so I would by waving him goodbye!

It's just so cringe of him IMO, looks so teenage to be that desperate to look at boobs when the internet exists!

That's a lots of judgment based on jumbled description of what he does....
Original poster
thenorthernlights · 05/07/2021 18:32

Thanks . There are no boobs ! I don't think I alluded to that?!!
These are male and female political fanatics and every couple of posts, there seems to be a link to a porn site which doesn't
Make any sense! The new followers or friends all have the same link address to these porn sites and same political opinions ! I dont understand it all and was hoping for someone knowledgable to explain it to me thanks .

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/07/2021 18:36

Sorry OP because you said cam girls / linked to porn maybe I jumped to some wrong conclusions?

When you say they have 'political views in common' do you mean far right / racist?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/07/2021 18:37

I didn't mean that to read as far right or racist as if they are mutually exclusive! I meant far right aka racist as I was bundling them in as one thing because to me they are synonymous.

Swipe left for the next trending thread