Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

PIL and DH birthday

6 replies

Wbfa · 03/07/2021 22:17

Will try to keep this short. PIL and I have a rough relationship. I m trying to keep it cordial for the sake of my DH and daughter as I don’t want their relationships to suffer because of my equation with them. Anyway Today is DHs birthday. I have been asking him for weeks what I should plan and he’s been saying he didn’t want anything for his birthday. Coincidentally it’s also his last day at a branch he is working at before he transfers to a different branch location. As he was close to everyone at this location, he asked me to bring our baby at closing time to say goodbye to everyone. We had planned this a long while ago. Also I forgot to add that MIL texted yesterday and said come over for DHs birthday. This massively irritated me because I was trying to do something special for my husband for his birthday. I haven’t had a single birthday with him since we moved to the city where PIL live because MIL has been hijacking his birthdays by throwing him dinners and parties without consulting me. This year I just wanted it to be DH, myself and our baby in our own home. We told her we had plans in the evening but we could meet them briefly for a cup of tea. She calls me today and says oh we are going to DHs work to surprise him! I told her please go at his lunchbreak because its inappropriate to show up while hes at work or go at closing. She says no sorry we are going now as we are un the area. I am livid because I was supposed to go with the baby to say bye to all his work friends and we had planned it way in advance. But now thanks to his parents, we have to scrap our plans because I feel it’s inappropriate for DHs whole family showing up to his work especially on his last day. AIBU in not wanting to go PILs for tea or being around DH who doesn’t seem to notice that his parents have boundary issues and can’t seem to take no for an answer?

OP posts:
ChicChaos · 03/07/2021 22:24

You don't have to scrap your plans though, you can go ahead and go to the office.

Ratalie · 03/07/2021 22:29

Wow. How embarrassing for him having his parents turn up at his work to celebrate his birthday. They sound unhinged and I understand why you'd now feel to embarrassed to go to his work too, but you should see how DH feels about that.

FionaMumsnet · 03/07/2021 22:29

OP - we've just edited a name out of your OP post. Do shout if that's a problem at all.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/07/2021 22:29

Agree with PP. Really doesn't matter if you, baby and PIL are there at the same time. They're allowed to pop in to see their son at work on his birthday. It might not be what you want but I think you're seeing this through the lens of previous issues you've had with them.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 03/07/2021 22:33

Also in your OP you said 'This year I just wanted it to be DH, myself and our baby in our own home'. But it's not your birthday. What did your DH want?

Wbfa · 03/07/2021 22:35

He said he was happy with a low key night in and a cake.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread