Anyone else struggle socially at work?

[Chocolatebox11]

The nature of my role means that I am in the same space as my colleagues for 10 hours, including breaks. We’re not allowed to leave for breaks or go anywhere else, and the work is very much teamwork.

I find it hard as I work with very extroverted people. I am finding the constant talking so hard to deal with but I have nowhere to escape to. I am not saying that I don’t speak at all, I do make conversation with them but I need my space too. It’s just endless mindless matter and gossip.
I’ve already been labelled the quiet one and I can sometimes see the other person looking bored and in need of stimulation.

It’s in a care home and I’m thinking of moving to home care as at least I will be either lone working or in different places.

Does anyone else feel this way at work? I fantasise about working from home a lot.

I wouldn’t even want to spend 10 hours with close friends. We do get the work done, of course, but there’s not even a staff room or any sort of escape.

Bump

YANBU OP. In my first performance review it actually came up as a point that I liked to read in the staff room at lunch time rather than socialise with workmates.

As it happens I am now friends with a few fellow introverted workmates and didn't click with the others. It was quite funny at the time but it is what it is. I make the occasional effort to go to social occasions but i don't want to best mates with all my co workers and that is just how it is

Can you get outside? I find that helped.

No we aren’t allowed to leave the building sadly. There’s a garden we can sit in at the back but since it’s night shift work it’s pitch black and anyway one of them ends up saying “Oh I’ll come out with you for a cig then”.

That’s awful they had to bring it up in your performance review. As long as we’re polite and cordial, why should it matter?
It’s a shame because I do enjoy the work but it’s putting me off. I also get very tired too on the night shift whereas they seem to be full of beans and commenting on how tired I look.

If you have a car, can't you go sit in that during your breaks

@Lizzie523

YANBU OP. In my first performance review it actually came up as a point that I liked to read in the staff room at lunch time rather than socialise with workmates.

As it happens I am now friends with a few fellow introverted workmates and didn't click with the others. It was quite funny at the time but it is what it is. I make the occasional effort to go to social occasions but i don't want to best mates with all my co workers and that is just how it is

I had similar feedback from a placement- great with patients but “you don’t sit and chat with us enough at lunch”

I don’t drive but we aren’t allowed to leave the building during breaks sadly, plus we don’t get allocated breaks as such, it’s just sitting down for 5 minutes whilst it’s quiet.

Yes me! It always comes up in my performance reviews as being a problem and has done for the past twenty years of my working life no matter what job I'm in. I always feel like I'm the odd one out who doesn't fit in. Working from home has been a god send.

Even if I knew them well I think it’d still be the same. It’s just the constant need to talk that I can’t deal with, I am currently applying for other roles which is a shame but I don’t think I am suited to this one.
I don’t have that kind of ‘mad’ personality either that a lot of them seem to have. There are some who seem to like me as I am which is great, and have said they enjoy working with me.
It’s really a shame to hear this comes up in performance reviews, I don’t see why it matters at all.

I used to have a lone working care role which was an absolute dream. Unfortunately I had to leave as the male I was supporting was violent towards me and others and I didn’t feel safe working there, but I miss the lone working.

YANBU. that sounds very draining. I'm very lucky that I sit in my own room now because of covid and I mostly just keep to myself. My co workers don't take it personally - they know I'm just introverted. I'm really surprised that people are saying not socialising was brought up in their performance reviews. You're there to work, not socialise.

They are the ones with the problem, needing to feed off the attention and validation off others is not healthy. Disrespecting a person because they don't play the game (which comes naturally to extroverts and those who have a personality disorder) is mean and dare I say it.... A bit degenerate. Being the "quiet one" just means you are comfortable with who you are. It seems more commonplace now in offices, I have noticed.. Not sure why? It's mindless, childish, attention reassurance that actually just says "you are a source of attention for me, I don't care what you prefer".

Yeah, it feels a bit like that. Being called quiet in front of everyone because I don’t want to talk and talk and talk, we’re all different.
Being on a night shift doesn’t help either, I don’t feel as alert and not as much energy to talk.

Don’t ever feel bad for being you, for being quieter. I’m an introvert and prefer my own company but because of the pressure I felt to feel more social I would try really hard to talk to people more and end up talking crap, I cringe at some of the things I said to try and fit in!
Now that I’m older I really don’t care and actually like my quieter character.
Could you speak to management to perhaps designate a quiet zone for staff? At my work place we have open tables for staff who want to mix and a quiet zone for those who don’t. X

I’m like this and I can totally relate. I’ve loved being able to work from home and am a much happier person for it. Im back in the office full time soon though.
I have my own office but I am very aware that I just keep to myself and get on with my work. Sometimes people make comments. I said something to a really loud guy over the hall and he just say there shocked and said “I’m in shock, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you speak before”. I don’t need to speak to him to do my role and I just thought he was rude and insensitive. It completely ruined my day, even week.

Just be you, everyone’s different. Just embrace the way you are. I struggle but I try to keep telling myself this anyway!

When I was working I used to enjoy sitting in my car during breaks to recharge and destress. YANBU.

Working in a care home you can't have time to be sitting around having to make small talk for 10 hours though? I'm a nurse and some days I don't get a chance to talk to anyone about anything not work related for more than 30 seconds!

OP I’m a
Massive introvert and I guess to some extent on spectrum (aren’t we all )

I knew work people made me anxious
I didn’t quite understand why

I’m a new woman working from home
Work is way way easier

I’d consider home care if you can

Lockdown has taught us introverts alot

Can't they find quiet people to do the night shift in a care home? If I was a resident the constant chatter would drive me round the twist, those kinds of settings are never quiet (and rarely dark) and sometimes it feels like you cant get a moments peace.