I’ll try and keep this concise because no one likes an essay for an OP.
I’ve known my best friend for 25+ years, we live in different countries and have very different lifestyles now (I posted about this previously as I’ve struggled with this a bit over lockdown) as he’s in a high profile industry and very wealthy.
I went to visit him for a weekend when he was working closer to home, and while it was lovely, it’s also created a weird vibe.
We had a few drinks and I told him that I’d been feeling very envious of his lifestyle for the first time recently, and how I’ve realised it’s actually more about me and the struggles I’m having to balance my 18 month old and dying career.
He was lovely about it and said that’s although he enjoys his lifestyle and the doors that his wealth opens, he’s very envious with what I’ve got - married with a baby - as he’s keen for a family.
All fine. Then he made a joke that if we had not been platonic friends all this time and we had got together we would have each had the best of both worlds.
Again, fine, but then he kept making little comments throughout the rest of the visit, like if DH gets sick of me, I know where he is, that kind of thing. “Joking” but almost felt like not joking. He was also very complimentary the whole time I was there (I could be overthinking it, he knows I’m feeling low post baby at the moment) but I don’t know, there seemed like there was a vibe.
It’s thrown me completely because we have always been platonic friends there’s never been any question of anything between us, DH adores him and friend loves DS and DH. We’ve spoken since on WhatsApp etc as usual and there is just something different about it and I can’t really put my finger on what it is because on the surface of it we are chatting about normal stuff.
It’s made me feel oddly guilty as though I’m
up to something I shouldn’t be, which I’m absolutely not.
I just feel like although this is a small thing, our friendship isn’t going to be the same anymore? I suppose on the bright side I’ve completely forgotten about the envy I was feeling 