To be so angry and confused by my DM

[loopyapp]

Short version. DM and DSD both have classic delta variant symptoms and are refusing to do a PCR. DM is supposed to be coming on holiday with us on Monday.

To avoid any drip feed, they both went to Carlisle races on Tuesday and Wednesday (22/23/6). Came back and DM had a new continuous cough. I pointed out she needed to do a test. She announced it was down to the AC in the room.

Age proceeded to get really unwell, cough, headachy with a runny nose. She was really out of it for a few days, DSD started a few days later, same symptoms. Hes still really rough but she is 100% better now.

They have insisted it is a mere cold the whole time. Shut down any conversation about it and the position it places me in regarding the holiday.

My DSD is a bully and has my DM dancing to his find regarding covid being a non issue. Not quite a conspirator type but more, let it tub its course and natural selection thin the population type. (Charming I know)

I KNOW I shouldn't take her on Monday but I'm so used to just nodding and smiling when she frustrates me with her bowing and scraping to her bully husband (I tried for years to get has to leave, she isn't interested as he stands to inherit millions and she wants in on that).

She is well outside the required 10 days but he still has symptoms. Does she still need to isolate? Or can I swallow my disdain for her idiocy and keep the peace?

I know I should cut this toxic shit out but I'm not ready or able to be without the one tiny scrap of family I have left.

They both need to have had negative Covid test results before you put yourself and anyone else at risk.

They are being selfish twats to even consider 'going on holiday' anywhere and potentially spreading this to un-immunized or at risk people.

I'd say ''Sorry, but I'm not going to risk catching whatever it was that had you both so unwell ! It would ruin the holiday !''

No way would I be taking her on holiday! At least not unless she had a PCR with a negative result. Is SD meant to be joining you aswell?

Nope. She can enable his crappy behaviour if she wants but you definitely don’t have to.

Nope stand your ground. Sounds like the resulting fallout might be peaceful for a bit.

Don't take her without a negative test. Shed be putting you and your family at risk, not to mention risking spreading it wherever it is that you're going!

I have a woman on my fb whose child was sent home from school yesterday with classics delta variant symptoms but she's refusing to test, insisting it's just a cold, and planning to still take her to see her grandparents today.

DC has covid at the moment and I was told not to give him a lateral flow for 90 days as it would show as positive. I was also told if he didn’t have a cough or temperature he would be fine to go back to school 10 days after his positive PCR.

You should do what what you feel best but please be aware of the positive lateral flow issue up to 90 days after a PCR.

She should have got a test, but if she has passed 10 days since her symptoms began and is now well, she no longer needs to isolate regardless of her husbands condition.

No negative test, no holiday

If it's outside the 10 days since symptoms started, I would be ok about her coming.
There's no point her taking a test - if she did have Covid it might still show up, up to 90 days afterwards.

That's my thinking, she's more than past the 10 days she has to isolate and when the symptoms started but as people have said she will still test positive for up to 90 days.

SD isn't and wasn't ever coming. Ironically he works at a covid test centre. Hes told them he has a stomach bug which tells me he KNOWS full well he should be testing.

Ive stayed away from them during this period which has caused no end of upset. Apparently I'm being a drama queen and I have health anxiety because I'm double vax'd and it wouldn't be an issue.

I just cannot fathom how entitled and selfish some people are. I'm so beyond angry but so crippled by the baggage of my childhood that I just cannot find it in me to draw a line

She juat gaslights me about this stuff or changes the subject and refuses to engage in it. I actually cried with frustration this morning and she told me I need to night wean the baby off the breast because I'm over tired and hysterical.

Christ, I'd be ringing the covid centre and dobbing him in. How bloody irresponsible.

Don't go with them. Serious question- given how difficult they are, why are you even going on holiday with them? It sounds like hell.

Detach!

@Blackhawkdown2020

If they truly believe they didn’t have it and don’t have residual symptoms then there is absolutely NO reason not to take a test but clearly they know they do and are in the wrong bit so not want to miss a holiday. Be responsible amd stand your ground - no test no coming on holiday. How would you feel if you caught it from them or your child did? It’s unlikely and unlikely you’d be seriously ill but nobody knows how each person will react so how would you feel if you caught it and became critically ill? Is it worth putting your kids through that??? You have a responsibility to all the other people you will be in contact with in your holiday too

It was only my mum coming and she started with the symptoms more than ten days ago so she's past the testing and isolation window.

I'm just so cross at their attitude and belief they don't have to follow the rules.

@NeilBuchananisBanksy

Christ, I'd be ringing the covid centre and dobbing him in. How bloody irresponsible.

Don't go with them. Serious question- given how difficult they are, why are you even going on holiday with them? It sounds like hell.

Detach!

I was pretty tempted but they would know it was me as they've told everyone else it's a stomach bug.

It was only ever DM coming as I have 4 boys, two of which have a wide variety of additional needs and honestly it is a safeguarding risk going to a beach on an adult ration of 1:4.

Tbh that's how I'm kept under the thumb .. I need help and support with the children.