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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Garden supper this evening. Would it be reasonable to suggest that guests might leave the table for the football?

756 replies

LemonRoses · 03/07/2021 10:12

We have a ten people arriving for supper this evening. We plan to eat on the terrace, with a 7pm start to catch the last of any sunshine. Clearly if they arrive at 7.15, have drinks and warm spiced nuts/olives then sit down to a starter of crab, we’re not going to be serving the entree until well past 8pm.

I don’t know two of the couples. My guess would be that three, maybe four, of the men would want to see the match. I don’t think most of the women would be particularly interested.

My problem is I wasn’t aware there was a football match this evening and I rather suspect some guests will want to see it.

Do we;

  • open the doors so people can pop in and out?
  • suggest those that wish cut their food at table and then eat of their knees with a fork whilst watching the television?
  • suggest we watch together later?
  • not mention to football and hope nobody else does?
  • arrange regular update messages from someone who is watching?

If a match is at 8pm, what time will it finish? Should we defer eating until after the match but add in more substantial canapés?

OP posts:
Orchidflower1 · 03/07/2021 10:17

Where do you live @LemonRoses

Pootles34 · 03/07/2021 10:19

Why orchid flower? Are you popping round for crab and entrées?

Theoldcuriosityshop · 03/07/2021 10:20

GrinGrin

SlipperyDippery · 03/07/2021 10:20

You sound a very considerate host!

This:

suggest those that wish cut their food at table and then eat of their knees with a fork whilst watching the television?

Is best from the footie fan guests point of view but it depends how much they want to watch the football, and how much the sitting together matters to you, because obviously it won’t be the event you planned.

It won’t finish till around nearly 10 and that’s assuming no extra time, it could be more like 10:45/11.

Another option could be stream it from the table on silent?

EmmaGrundyForPM · 03/07/2021 10:21

We once held a party on the night of a big match for England. I just stuck the TV on in the living room and most of the men ended up in there. I appreciate that a dinner party is different though!

I presume it's too late to change the menu? Because if it were me I'd be switching to a bbq or buffet type of meal where people can come and pick up food and head back to the tv.

It's tricky because I am like you and wouldn't have a clue when matches are on.

ineedaholidaynow · 03/07/2021 10:22

It will be way too late to eat after the match, especially if you have to factor in extra time/penalties

MMAMPWGHAP · 03/07/2021 10:22

You’ll be lucky if they all turn up unless you clarify what you‘ll be doing. Suspect right now there are 3/4 households having massive arguments.

Shoxfordian · 03/07/2021 10:23

I would just ignore it, people should be able to come to your dinner party and watch it tomorrow if they’re interested

daisypond · 03/07/2021 10:24

Why don’t you ask them what they might want?
Why not skip the starters and go straight in with the main course and have that finished by 8?

TillyTottenham · 03/07/2021 10:25

- suggest those that wish cut their food at table and then eat of their knees with a fork whilst watching the television?

This is the only thing that will work if they are real football fans.
However, if they are, I imagine they would have cried off the dinner party.

I'm thinking you should just not mention it, and if anyone else does, offer them the option above.

I'm intrigued as to the purpose of this dinner party. Presumably there is an agenda as you are inviting people you don't know…

Parker231 · 03/07/2021 10:26

I imagine you will receive some cancellations throughout today. Would be better to reschedule or change the format. We’re hosting a BBQ this evening with a screen in the garden so everyone can keep an eye on the match. (It don’t disturb neighbours)

DancesWithTortoises · 03/07/2021 10:26

I'd hate it. If I wanted to watch football I wouldn't have accepted the invitation.

Very rude to suggest it.

daisypond · 03/07/2021 10:27

I can’t imagine that anyone would cancel coming. Surely that would be very rude.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 03/07/2021 10:27

No helpful advice but I love the level of detail Grin Tell me more OP. How will the crab be dressed? Will there be a garnish?

EmmaGrundyForPM · 03/07/2021 10:29

Presumably the invites went out before it was apparent the England match was tonight.

I don't like football but I do get that this match is a really big deal for fans. I think you need to give them.options.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/07/2021 10:29

I agree they would be v rude if they cancelled.

I would maybe ask what they wanted to do about catching a bit of the match etc

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/07/2021 10:30

Are you American?

McDuffy · 03/07/2021 10:30

Some of my mates got married during the autumn rugby internationals and lost loads of evening guests to a hotel bar with the match on! I'm a big football fan but would recognise it would be bad form to pop Sky Go on my phone under the table Grin

Howshouldibehave · 03/07/2021 10:30

You need to move things much earlier so you’re starting on the warm spiced nuts at 5.30/6. Then you can do canapés or perhaps some cheese fondue at half time. Then Arctic roll or something for afters.

ineedaholidaynow · 03/07/2021 10:30

I would check with them all now and ask if they are interested in watching the football in some way.

If you have close neighbours I am assuming you may hear how England are doing as there maybe some shouting at TVs and you will hear the noise if you are sitting outside

museumum · 03/07/2021 10:34

I’m not English or a football fan but even I will keep an eye on the match as it’s a national event.
If I had people over I’d have a tv near the patio and doors open for flow between and also make it a more casual buffet service / seating rather than dinner round the table.

Can you group message them all and ask if people want to watch?

samsmum2 · 03/07/2021 10:34

I had exactly this situation during the rugby world cup. In the end I altered the food so that we started with canapes & drinks before the game, then ate the main course in front of the telly. But it was with people I knew quite well!

Fiddliestofsticks · 03/07/2021 10:35

Why did you feel the need to give so much detail about the food Grin. Seems a little like you're trying to show off (and failing because warm nuts to snack on and a crab starter isnt fancy.)

Anyway, your actual question which could have been asked without all the extra details. If they wanted to watch the football, they wouldn't have said yes to the invite. As if is a formal meal and not a BBQ or buffet party style gathering, half of them walking off the watch the football is just very very rude.

museumum · 03/07/2021 10:35

Actually, looking at your timings again I’d skip aperitifs and nuts, serve food early at the table and expect people to freeflow to either tv or not from just after 8.

Original poster
LemonRoses · 03/07/2021 10:37

We don’t own a barbecue. I don’t think people will cry off - had confirmation yesterday from all couples.

I suppose we could live off crab for three days and freeze some of the rest. Then go with whatever football food is - popcorn or crisps then I’m guessing something in their hands - hot dogs maybe and ice creams. I don’t think the women will be overly pleased though.

Think we’ll go with people eating on their knees, if they really want to watch it. They’ll not be good company at the table if they’re fretting about the score.

Why people we don’t know? New people who have moved to just outside the village and a new work contact for my husband. Slightly more formal is easier for newcomers. It’s not a grand occasion at all.

OP posts: