Sick of being called quiet

[Anitawiglit12]

At work, work a night shift so naturally I’m tired and just want to get the work over with.
I am fairly quiet by nature but I’m sick of it having to be pointed out. I am just introverted too, I don’t like constantly talking just for the sake of it and I get drained I suppose.
We’ve got a new person who’s started tonight and I’m on with somebody I’ve worked with a few times. Ive only been here a couple of months myself.
The colleague was talking about staff here to the new lady and she said to her “Anita’s really quiet, aren’t you.” I In front of me to her.
I just laughed, didn’t really know what to say. I shouldn’t care or take it personally but why does it matter? I do make conversation I am not completely silent, I just don’t constantly talk.
Does anyone else get stuff like this from people? We wouldn’t say “Oh this is Anita, she’s really loud aren’t you.”

I am still getting to know people here too, I’ve only worked with the aforementioned colleague 3 times whereas she’s been here for 14 years.

I'd just respond with 'no I'm not, I just don't like you'. In a tone that they're not quite sure if I'm serious or not.

Haha that’s a good idea, I don’t know if I’d have the guts!
I am the quietest here, but I’ve had it in other situations with friends etc. Where it was pointed out in front of others and tbh it just makes me feel even worse.
The other night they were watching love island and slagging off the contestants’ looks. I didn’t want to join in with bitching like that, some conversations like that I am not interested in.

Quiet is fine - after all, 'empty vessels make the most noise'
That is my stock answer to those who refer to me as being 'quiet'

I can be quiet, and like you, don't like talking just for the sake of it. Once a colleague commented on how quiet I was. She put her hands on my shoulders and shook me back and forward and she 'she just needs a good shake to come out her shell'. I was so annoyed, get your hands off me and leave me alone!

You seem to be perceiving 'being quiet' as an insult.
Why ?
There's nothing wrong with being quiet. Might well make you a colleague some people like to work with.
Yes, you might describe someone as being "the life and soul" or some other wording that hints at them being loud. Again, that might make them appealing to some, and a 'person to avoid if they can' to others.

It is only you that seems to find 'being quiet' as somehow negative. I don't understand why you think that.

I don't think 'quiet' is an insult. I can be very quiet. I'd be very chatty in other situations. Neither description is negative to me. Your colleague probably said it in front of you as they didn't realise you would think they meant something bad by it.

Cross Post there

How about replying, 'So what? You make enough noise for three people'? Yes, I know, hard to say in practice.

I think conversational analysis has an answer to why there is such hostility to quiet people and tolerance of bullying of them. Some loud and talkative people (in mixed groups, usually men) who seek to dominate conversations simply don't notice that others aren't saying anything, or, where you do say something, they will listen, and then go back to saying whatever they were saying before. (I have an ex-husband like that.) Their idea of conversation is when they talk.

But there are people who are dominant who are also cheer-leaders—they want everyone on their side, which means, joining in the conversation and agreeing with them. I think there are more women in this group than men; it's a way they make themselves dominant in all-female groups. Such people automatically feel that quiet people, simply by not joining in, must be judging them and finding fault with them.

So one way of dealing with it is saying, as sincerely as you can, 'I am enjoying listening to you talk. You always have such interesting things to say, I like to think about them.' This flattery feeds the ego of the simpler ones, and warns the cleverer ones that you know what their game is while making it harder for them to retaliate.

For me I can be both, although it depends on the conversation topics

Aaargh I always get comments like that from people who won't shut up and I hate it

Ignore all the strident oh say this comments it’s just empty looks how big I am brags
You are how you are. Unfortunately we live in a culture that celebrates woo hood out there and is suspicious of quiet. As if quiet is something one needs to be disavowed of. Like quiet =fkaw

Still waters run deep.

I don’t perceive being quiet as a negative thing but others seem to. I’ve been rejected as a friend and as a prospective partner because of it. I just need to stop caring, I hate how people feel they are entitled to comment on you and say you’re this and that, they should really mind their own business. I just don’t really fit in with my colleagues I think, we seem to be just different people.

I'm the same. I'd be tempted to tell her I speak when I think it will benefit the conversation, not just for prattle (although I never would say that!)

The main benefit of being spare with words is that people actually listen when you speak!