Deeply offended by manager?

[avenueaspirr]

She’s my new manager but we’ve both been in the business roughly the same amount of time (5 years) and we do know each other.

Our first meeting she asked why my productivity had slipped - I advised of the reasons (new systems that don’t work basically and we physically run out of work so I do admin tasks that don’t count towards recordable productivity)

Then before I knew it a week later she’d booked me in to screen share with a colleague to literally sit there and watch them work. I was so offended for the following reasons.

• I gave legitimate reasons and I wasn’t questioned further
• I’ve been doing this job for 5 years so the fact she wants me to watch someone else do it was insulting
• That she discussed my performance with another colleague who is the same level as me

I’m sorry for snapping at anyone - I’m just so deflated and feel worthless. I don’t want to do this job anymore - not because this happened but I suppose that was the final straw.

I’ve worked hard for so long, I’m in my 30s in frankly a bullshit job that’s not difficult and now I feel like I’m being told you’re shit at this now as well. Like you will never progress because frankly you’re shit at such a basic role.

Then comparing me with someone who works part time who doesn’t have to put up with this draining shit all week long. I’m not saying she has a break the time she’s off but it’s not a constant drag down of the same thing 5 days a week.

I really give up.

I had an interview last week and will hear back Monday - but I’ve also spent most of that time thinking how shit I did in it. Like I’m genuinely a worthless pile of shit that’s going to rot away in a demeaning job that I’m terrible at.

OP I'd ask your manager how your productivity stacks up against others. Maybe yours has remained at a constant and theirs has excelled if you're working from home and can't see what everybody's doing all the time? Maybe it's not that you're doing anything wrong but just that others are doing better - or are making it clear when there's no work available?

some things to think about
if the work for thew whole team runs out what do the others do?
have you ever flagged that this is happening to you...both needing more reportable work and the tech issues?
Does shadowing/training count as reportable work...or at least as allowable work?
who is managing your manager?

avenueaspirr good luck with the job hunt. Don't despair. I feel a bit like this when I'm in a job forna while.

I wouldn’t have a clue what others produce daily or what impacts them.

This is probably why she wants you to watch someone else. Who knows, you might learn something. As might they.

I have days where it is system errors all bloody day. My job has two systems, one for booking, one for calls and I can't do my job without both
Every time it happens I report (with screenshots if I have them) by emailing my boss "kicked off system Y, system X frozen"
Then he sees I'm not just skiving and also is likely to chase up IT for me

I completely understand where you're coming from, OP.

I hope your search for a new job goes well.

It seems odd that the manager has not told the OP about the work-shadowing exercise, and yet the OP knows all about it.

Eh? She told me as she booked the overview. How else would I have known?

I said I would not be attending.

How about screen-shotting every error message that comes up and emailing it to your manager so she sees the issue clearly? Likewise the 'no more work to do' messages.

I wonder if, as you're wfh, your company needs to pay for better broadband? Could that be the issue?

When you were watching your colleague, did you actually see them doing anything differently from what you do? Anything helpful you could adopt? If so, tell your manager. If not, tell her that! An hour spent watching someone doing what you do every day in the exact way you already do it is an hour wasted, and that doesn't help anyone's productivity, does it?!

I feel your frustration, and your manager was out of order to discuss your work with a colleague at the same level as you! HR would be my next port of call if talking to your manager doesn't resolve this, but ultimately you might need to move on while your assessments are still good; if a manager decides you are the problem you can find yourself being "managed out."

Do create an email trail, even if it's emailing your manager to say, "After our chat this afternoon, I just want to be sure I got your message clearly. As I understand it, you said the issue is (bullet, bullet, bullet).

She'll be much more careful what she says when she knows it's going on record. Screenshot emails on your phone in case you need the evidence for HR, or even an employment tribunal, and your work laptop has been taken away.

Good luck!

OP, are you in a union? I'd join one pronto if not. You're very exposed without a union.

It sounds like this is the straw that broke the camels' back.

Whenever I've felt like this about work, it's been time to move on.

You seem to be ignoring suggestions about how to improve your situation. If that's because you're feeling very low - it does sound like you are - then try to put it out of your mind for the weekend and focus on something completely unrelated to distract you. Sometimes we reach a point where we become our own worst enemy, and when that happens the best thing to do is to step away, even take a few days off sick to get some perspective.

Take care of yourself, but also take care not to make things irretrievably worse.

OP it sounds really shitty and time to move on before they wreck your confidence even more

So is it the fact that you’re completing (for example) 5 tasks a day whilst others doing 10, because the system errors are getting in the way of your tasks? Maybe the part time colleague you’ve been asked to shadow gets through the same amount of tasks as you

Can’t you just screenshot it each time there is an error message showing the date and time.

@avenueaspirr You shouldn't post in AIBU you should post on the "employment issues" board under "Work".

AIBU has always been vicious but over the last few years has got progressively worse showcasing the absolute worst of people. MN was set up as a supportive place but this board is the place to put the boot in.

Personally YANBU and I hope you are successful at finding another job.

You’re not answering the questions about addressing the IT issues.. IT systems failures/outages/running issues are common place in an office environment. Especially working remotely, everyone experiences it at one point. If it is a significant barrier to you completing work then surely you must have at least reported it to IT, asked your colleagues if they experienced the same, troubleshooted with an engineer remotely taking control of your machine? Then you can show the evidence of this at any review/appraisal. In my experience most employers would expect you proactively address any IT issues rather than use it as a barrier for not being productive.

Op do you need the money ? If no, quit. If yes rhen you’re going to have to give the pity party and end date and come up with another solution on how to resolve this if you don’t like hers. She clearly thinks it’s a system training issue. Which indicates no one else is having the same issue. You’re just going to feel worse and worse if you don’t address it.

Hopefully you get the job but if you don’t and you need the money then you need to come up with a solution as you’ve rejected hers.

[quote ElectricTreeLeaf]@avenueaspirr You shouldn't post in AIBU you should post on the "employment issues" board under "Work".

AIBU has always been vicious but over the last few years has got progressively worse showcasing the absolute worst of people. MN was set up as a supportive place but this board is the place to put the boot in.

Personally YANBU and I hope you are successful at finding another job.[/quote]
I don't think many people here have been vicious at all. I think maybe the OP has her blinkers on because she's doing the same job she's been doing for 5 years and she clearly isn't enjoying it. I'd say there's a very good chance she's not being as productive as others and she can't know what their productivity is like if they're all working from home.

It sounds to me that she'd be offended by any person more senior coming to her with this same problem, and she thinks that time served directly correlates to efficiency levels, which we all know isn't necessarily the case.

The manager may not have handled this in the best way but the manager has asked her to screen-share and she'd point blank refused. You can understand why people may think she's being intentionally difficult and therefore a bit more abrupt with their responses here.

Your manager is not good at her job.

In my experience most employers would expect you proactively address any IT issues rather than use it as a barrier for not being productive

Ha ha. They just nod their heads sagely and ignore, unless you are doing something, or are someone, really important in the organisation. My DH has this with his job, constant IT problems which slow him down massively with his job. I've told him he has to stop working longer hours and doing workarounds, because unless it starts to have an adverse impact on clients/important people in his organisation, it won't be a priority to fix.

However, I do agree with making a nuisance of yourself with IT. Every time you have an issue OP, screenshot it, email it to IT and your boss. Every single time, even if that is 10 times a day. Eventually they'll be so fed up they'll find time and budget to address it.

Are you wfh. Its frustrating. How does she know that you are not been productive

Depends how good your organisation is and how focussed on technology. Most workplaces have adopted agile work methods these days and there is usually a focus on new technologies and streamlining efforts. New platforms or software will be implemented via project and change management programmes which will closely monitoring the implementation/any issues which arise.

Again depends on the company though. If nobody is interested in addressing the IT issues, it still needs to be reported upon and chased, if nothing else but to provide “evidence” of the challenges you face.

I'm sorry you're feeing so deflated at work OP. There are ways to deal with this though that may help in the interim while you're looking for another job - and which may also help in future jobs.

From what you're saying, my understanding is that a) you are in a team and everyone picks up jobs/tasks from the same pot of work (I'm guessing customer orders/requests/issues/enquiries of some sort - just from your posts).

You say you work from home and are having systems errors which are slowing down your productivity. It seems that others MAY have a similar issue or may not - but you don't know for sure. I'm therefore guessing what is happening is that the system is slowing you down therefore from a stats perspective it looks like other team members are picking up jobs/tasks at a faster rate - so it looks like they are more productive.

I am assuming you have reported the systems errors/problems to your IT department in all this so you should have a record of this- emails to your IT dept or whatever. The IT problems you are having may therefore be related to your particular system (at my company some people's laptops are better than others!)... or it may be your internet/wifi is causing drop outs - which happens when people are working from home.

Assuming the above is correct, what I would do is this:

1. Gather up all your communication with IT - all the times you have reported the tech issues and their responses (assuming they are trying to help you sort it).

1. Gather up all your evidence - screen grabs or whatever... showing how frequently this is happening and how much it slows you down.

1. Arrange a meeting with your manager and present your evidence - not in a confrontational way - but in a "I'm wanting to resolve this" way. You can then say "this is what is happening - I acknowledge that it is impacting how much work I am able to pick up and despite my best efforts - it is still a problem..." - ask the manager to liaise with IT to help you sort it. If it's an internet/wi-fi issue at home then you need to have a conversation about how they want you to deal with that - if you are working from home due to Covid (ie wouldn't normally) then they need to factor that in.

1. In terms of the situation when work runs out - you say "when all the tasks are complete and there is no work to pick up - I have been doing x,y,z to keep busy and be productive - are you happy with this or do you want me to do something else?" - put it on your manager - she then can't complain in future if you are doing what she wants.

It sounds like she's not getting the systems issues which is why she had you shadow another colleague - perhaps she thought they might approach the work differently - or it might help identify if it's a training issue or a systems issue. You need to demonstrate clearly a) what the problem is and b) what you are doing to resolve it.

If it's an IT issue beyond your control and you have done everything reasonable to solve the problem then present the evidence to your manager and ask her to liaise to help get it sorted (my managers are all keen to do this if they can see you are doing all you can to solve a problem but are getting nowhere). As others have said - email them every single time it happens and cc your manager with screen grabs - she can then see the extent of the problem.

If.. and I mean IF... it is something that a bit of extra training on your part could help with, then embrace it - approach it with a positive mindset and use it as a learning experience - then demonstrate you have taken the feedback on board and run with it.

Most people in their careers will get feedback at some point that they don't like - it's okay to be upset by it (particularly if you had no warning or indication that there was a problem - no one likes to be blindsided) - but it's then all about how you deal with it. If you acknowledge the feedback, recognise that improvements are needed and, if necessary, ask for help with it - that is usually respected by an employer. If you are negative, refuse to take on feedback and don't take responsibility for what you can do to improve things - then that's where you'll get further problems.

It DOES sound like your new manager could communicate better - there are plenty managers who have poor communication skills - but the way to deal with that is to go back to her - ask for a meeting - tell her what you need from her. Do you want more clarity on what she feels the problem is? Do you need her to help you sort out the tech issues? If you are doing everything you can from your end - and can demonstrate that - then it at least puts you in a better position professionally and gives you grounds to take it to HR if it IS simply down to poor management.

You can sort this - but it takes proactivity and a demonstration of wanting to solve the problem.

YANBU OP. In your situation I would leave too. In fact I have left jobs where managers have tried to treat me like a toddler. I did not even accept this behavior in my early twenties and I would certainly not accept it now.
I'd say in the mean time avoid your manager as much as possible, keep your head down and apply like heck for other jobs. Also don't wait for call backs. Keep applying till the moment you actually sign a new contract.

Good luck! I am sure you'll find something soon. Companies are clamoring for new staff.

Good idea to be looking for another job @avenueaspirr and maybe a new attitude. Jeez if you’re this hostile to a bunch of randoms that you’ve asked a question to on the internet you must be a nightmare to work with or manage.