To feel sad when I see my old house?

[avenueaspirr]

I sold my house in April 2020 and then saw that it was again on RightMove and now sold - so obviously I had a look.

They’d change quite a bit but I’d seen they’d ripped out the shutters in the bedroom that I’d paid £1000 for and replaced them with floral curtains - that one stung

I know I’m being unreasonable and it’s not mine! It was just sad to relive the memories I’d made there and see the changes. Anyone else felt like this?

My parents still live in my childhood home, and as an adult I've only lived in one place, so I don't have anything to compare! I have been wondering though how I'll feel when my parents do die and their house gets sold and someone ELSE moves in.... it's been theirs since the late 60s and I can't imagine anyone else there.

I did look up my granny's old house though on Rightmove, the one where she lived when I was a child - I had very fond memories of being there and can picture it very clearly - it's been totally revamped, extensions added, all sorts, and has sold several times and is now worth about 20 times what it was sold for in the 80s when she left. It's commuter belt Hertfordshire, looks totally unrecognisable now. And all my grandad's raspberry bushes have been ripped out and replaced with a gazebo.

Listen to the house that built me, by Samantha Lambert.

Miranda, I'm not sure where Samantha came from.

Yep, they ripped the heart out of my childhood home 😩

The people we bought our house off still go to the school across the road.

I feel a bit guilty about their beloved hedges (in reality, completely overgrown) because we have had some removed, including the front garden to widen the driveway by a couple of feet to allow motorbike in and out without moving the car.

I didn’t think too much about our old house until I saw it come up on Rightmove last year. Brought up lots of unexpected emotions - one was a weird sense that they shouldn’t have been allowed to sell without consulting us! Like I had agreed to sell to them and therefore had a right to be consulted about any future changes in ownership too. Also feeling a bit insulted that they were selling after only a few years. They were so lucky to get my lovely house and they should have stayed longer!

None of it logical, obviously.

I didn’t have any of the problems with people removing stuff as they hadn’t done much to it other than painting and a new fence. Which was rather gratifying. But my dp was annoyed as he felt they capitalised on the work we had done and this was unfair. If my former buyers are reading and agree, you know where to send the cheque!

My childhood home was on Rightmove recently. We moved in 1982 so obviously it had changed. Structurally itvwas the same but obviously very different decor, the carpets had been removed for floorboards and a new kitchen put in.

The back garden was now a patio.

It is lovely now and the last owners did well, but it was a wee bit sad. My dad was a builder and had extended it twice, which they obviously benefited from. (I'm not having a go, we did as well including an extra bedroom so me and my sister who fought all the time no longer had to share.)

I understand and feel the same. It pleases me to see our first cottage terrace we bought look exactly the same as we restored it to 20 years when we visit the area but breaks my heart to see the travesty of an extension that our latest house had put on it that removed any character and lots of beautiful plants. I just don't think of it as our house now and my memories are still there of how it was.

The thing is people will put their own stamp on things and change even old features otherwise all the old houses in this country will have their original features. I agree with the pp that said why buy that sort of character house if you're going to rip out what gave it the character!!

@CrazyNeighbour

Not me, but a work colleague whose wife was an interior designer were invited back about a year later. The new people had removed everything she had lovingly created over the ten years they had lived there. He was stoic about it… she was gutted.

I once saw a TV show when interior deigners were redoing the property to sell up, some of them were selling their own properties they were redecorating over the years. Some (most) were hideous- over the top, weird colours (obviously suited their tastes, but you could tell from thw faces of the people visiting most were like, 'WTF, I dont want acid green and black walls'), and I would not blame anyone for wanting to change the design ASAP.. People want to put my own stamp on the house when they move in, not feel like they are living in someone else's...

@catfeets

My buyers ripped up the beautiful garden. If I'd known they were going to pave the entire thing (I took up paving when I moved in) I'd have dug up all my very expensive plants and taken them to my new (very bare) garden. I can't bear the thought that they might have dug up my pets (I'd have taken them with me too). Can't understand why anyone would completely pave an entire garden when they have a couple of young kids. Surely grass is so much more kid friendly. We have none in our new garden and we're putting lawn in as and when we can afford a few rolls.

I wish I could have taken all my beautiful plants too! Didn't have time or effort at the time and the new garden was a jungle I'm only just sorting out now. My massive blue hydrangea that I bought for £8 would be amazing but it is now gone

Well the first house that I bought after I got married was demolished to make way for flats....

I had to downsize a few years ago following divorce from my lovely four bed detached chalet bungalow. I had a friend living in the same road so occasionally would need to drive past my old home. It stirred up lots of sad feelings and it was hard to not imagine I was not still living there. Eventually the buyers did so much work which included externally that now when I drive past the fascade looks nothing like my old house. This actually has helped a lot.

As children, we used to visit my grandfather and step grandmother. They lived in a grand, old house. I’d spend hours in the music room with my grandfather playing songs. Sadly they both passed away many years ago. My grandfather died first, leaving everything to his wife. She died soon after, but without a will. She had no children, so the estate was split between distant descendants. The house was sold, presumably to a developer. It remained empty for at least a decade, if not two. Imagine my feelings when I saw the house as the setting of an episode of Doctor Who. Everything looked run down and overgrown. The music room itself was featured, with peeling wallpaper. So sad.

A few years later, though, it had been bought by a different developer. I visited the site, chatted with the builders and had a tour of the renovations. They’d done proper skilled job, using quality materials. It looked wonderful. It’s up for sale now and looks lovely.

@Wearywithteens

“I don't understand why people want to move to the countryside into a pretty, really old cottage and then make it look like it's in a concrete housing estate.”

Totally agree - it just seems mindless. What a shame.

Yes I agree too, there's a beautiful house not too far from me it had gorgeous features in it, original solid wood floors, a shaker kitchen which went with the style of the property, new owners came in and put down glossy white floor tiles everywhere which made the hallway look like a hotel reception area, the shaker kitchen was replaced with stainless steel units which looked like a morgue, just awful. Don't get me wrong these things are great in the right property, but not in an old house. Oh and they dug up the turf and replaced it with gravel and fake grass.

I've been on Google maps to see our first married flat. As it was an Army Quarter in Germany it has changed a lot. There used to be a play park outside the front of the blocks, its all grass and hedges now. Looks like they've demolished the block of garages to make a car park too.

My glorious old rental houseshare was a lovely three-storey Victorian with sash windows, ceiling roses, fancy coving, fireplaces, etc. In bad nick but could’ve been a beauty. We grew jasmine and clematis and roses in the garden.

Owners sold up to developers who gutted the place, stripped out the period features and chimney breasts, tore out the garden and paved it, and subdivided into 7 tiny, soulless boxy studios complete with horrid plasticky cheap landlord furniture. Makes me sad every time I think about it.

I don't understand why anyone would want to rip out original features. I long for original features. Our 1930s semi has all it's original doors which someone in the 70s panelled over. We took them off, stripped and re painted them. Yes it would have been easier to buy new doors but I wanted the original ones. Were moving so I hope the new owner keeps them. The front door is also original and I painted it pink and bought new but original style door furniture and it's GLORIOUS but he has already told me he'll paint it white. Boo.

I forgot to add they painted all the beams white and the huge stone inglenook fireplace was also whitewashed, it's like they where trying to hide it was an old house, needless to say it stayed on the market for 2 years and then removed it because it didn't sell, I imagine prospective buyers thought it was too much work to reinstall the original features.

I lived in a sweet but dated little house in my 20's and 30's and never had enough money to properly modernise it. Everything worked, it was just a bit old
New owners did all the jobs that needed doing and actually made it look fabulous!

burrito - I can just imagine. Lots of sad stories on here. I don’t fully agree with the argument that people should just be able to do what they want with their properties. With period features I do feel there’s a moral obligation to look after them for future generations. Impossible to enforce obviously without listing which isn’t appropriate for most older houses, but I don’t understand why people buy them to make them look like a new build either and wish they wouldn’t. My theory is that these houses are desirable so people but them for that reason, but they don’t actually personally like the thing that makes them desirable. They’re removing heritage for those of us who do appreciate it.

This is exactly why I will not invite the vendor to visit our home .The vendor said that she would love to visit the house after we had redecorated
Dh and I are planning to make substantial changes to the house . I know that the vendor will have issues with some of these changes.

A few years ago I took the kids to my childhood home to show them where I grew up (we’d moved fo the other end of the country and we’re passing through the area on holiday). You can’t see the house from the road so I was planning on driving up the long drive and then turning around when we’d had a quick look. The owner was in the conservatory and saw us so I thought it was polite to speak fo him to explain why we were on his drive. It turned out he was the guy that my parents had sold it to and he was delighted to see me. He invited us in for a full tour so 20 years after we left I got to stand in my childhood bedroom.

It was lovely seeing what they had done to the place. They had kept a lot of the beautiful period features like wood panelling but had obviously spent a lot of money improving it too. It looked like a well loved family house - just like I remember it. It felt like such a privilege to be inside again and see how the owners loved and treasured it as much as we had.

@Lampzade

This is exactly why I will not invite the vendor to visit our home .The vendor said that she would love to visit the house after we had redecorated Dh and I are planning to make substantial changes to the house . I know that the vendor will have issues with some of these changes.

Yes, I don’t think anything good could come of visiting and your vendor ought to know better. As per my previous post, I have particular views on what should be done with old houses and I know when we sell this one I will be upset if the new owners have a different take (and I don’t even have many original features since they were removed decades ago).

The only thing to do is move on and not look back.

The good news for people who get upset about features being ripped out is that there is a roaring salvage trade and many people restoring. I think it’s a bit of a merry-go-round with old fireplaces, doors and radiators tbh.

Makes me feel sad too. My ‘frenemy’ at school bought it on the end - after making me feel like shit and embarrassed for living in a ‘big house’ all those years. Funny that.

@OhRene

My old farm cottage had a beautiful garden with a stunning climbing rose bush hanging over the dry stone wall at the bottom of the garden, a tall hedge that was filled with birds and their babies every year, separating the cottage from an ugly building works a field away, a huge 50+ year old rhododendron near the car parking that would be alive in the summer with thousands of lovely bees (who never bothered anyone nor left the bush) and two gigantic old trees beside it. I think they must have been at least 50 to 60ft tall at least. No neighbours to bother with leaves of lack of light etc and they were healthy and quite a way from the house. It was lovely. And as it was all plants that took care of themselves, gardening was as complicated as getting a lawnmower out every now and then and a quick once over with some hedge trimmers every couple of years.

New people bought it and ripped everything out. Goodbye bees, bye bye little conifer and rose bushes in the garden. See ya later wall climbing roses. The hedge? Gone. Even the trees were cut down for the new wood burner they installed. There is NOTHING but grass and road planings now. Not a single plant or flower surrounding the entire once picturesque cottage. It's not even nicely done either. It just looks tatty and bare. There is no neatly trimmed lawn and fancy deck, patio or gravel. Just roadworks stone chips chucked down.

I don't understand why people want to move to the countryside into a pretty, really old cottage and then make it look like it's in a concrete housing estate.

i dont understand it either , i love wild gardens ,got one myself and this just sounds heartbreaking . why on earth did they buy it i wonder , they sound like they would have suited a third floor flat in a concrete jungle better , this is the sort of thing that does wind me up