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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone regret having a third?

52 replies

alongwiththesunshine · 02/07/2021 21:43

I have a 3 year old, a 3 month old and I found out I'm pregnant yesterday

I know my dh will want a termination as he doesn't think I'd be able to cope with the age gap of the youngest 2 and that we would live to regret.

So I would love some honest answers on the age gap or any regrets?

I'm aware it's not a aibu SORRY! Blush

OP posts:
Pissedoff1234 · 02/07/2021 22:42

I wanted 3 but DH didn't. He eventually agreed and loved him so much we ended up with a 4th as well.

OhRene · 02/07/2021 22:43

Wow @Miljea

Just... wow.

Really???

Handsoffstrikesagain · 02/07/2021 22:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

mistermagpie · 02/07/2021 22:51

We have three, all 5 and under although the smaller gap is between the 1st and 2nd.

No regrets at all, I'm so so very glad we decided to have the third. She is amazing.

JaceLancs · 02/07/2021 22:53

I had 2 very close together which was amazing and would never change
If I’d been able to do it again with number 3 would’ve done in a heart beat

HollyBen · 02/07/2021 22:53

I regret not having no3. DH wasn't keen and I let head rule over heart.

PumpkinKlNG · 02/07/2021 22:55

Not 3 but I regret having 4

PepsiMax91 · 02/07/2021 22:57

Not read replies so i can give a fully honest answer but it is subjective

My third child was my first girl- 0 regrets never ever

I fully expected a boy was slightly dissapointed when it was a girl but i got over it real fast. I only wanted a boy because everything I had was blue / sharing rooms, clothes ect.

My third child is amazing shes (my favourite daughter)

But..

As a third baby even though I adore her to peices she is the third and whilst she doesn't come third theres just a whole lot of 'get on with it' that comes with multiple young children.

Having extra children doesnt get easier we just learn faster or we get slacker. These are facts you can't take full care of multiple small children easily but you can do it to the best of your ability and people out there have 6/7/8 kids and manage just grand.

You will adjust and you will make it work. Congratulations

GalesThisMorning · 02/07/2021 22:57

Reading this thread makes me regret not having a thirdSad

EssexCat · 02/07/2021 22:58

@Hippee

DD was a bit of a surprise 17 months after DS2. Obviously I wouldn't be without her. Only downsides are that the world generally caters for 2 children in things like hotels.We have adapted by embracing camping and opting for self-catering.
Eurocamping has been our saviour!
CharlieChickenson · 02/07/2021 22:58

Honestly? If I were to fall pregnant again quickly after #2 I'd just go with the flow. Dc1 and 2 are very close in age. Now my youngest is a toddler, sleeping through, dropping naps and toilet training...I don't want to go back to the baby stage and the limitations. I know people have babies that are happy in prams, car seats and nap anywhere...that wasn't my experience with my two. In the battle I'd take another on and be very happy about it. These days, I love playing with friends babies and handing them back Wink.

But...........if it happened now .... I'd still go with the flow, maybe with a grumble and a fucksake but once the kid is here, you just get on with it and hopefully love what they bring.

MrsJuliaGulia · 02/07/2021 23:03

How far along are you, what will the age gap be?
Do you want a termination?

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 02/07/2021 23:05

I’ve got 3 and DC3 is an absolute dream. We all adore him he is so cheeky and funny and I honestly cannot imagine life without him.
I have 4 years between DC1 & 2 and then 18 months between DC2 & 3. All adore each other, all the best of friends. I’m so glad we went for number 3. He completely our family perfectly.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/07/2021 23:10

nope
we have 7, wanted all of them

I had the first 3 in 3.5 years - 2 years gap, then 15m gap.
it was fine

TheBeesKnee · 02/07/2021 23:10

I don't think Miljea is really out of order asking that question. My younger brother has developmental delays and autism and actually growing up it was really difficult because his needs and meltdowns dominated family life. I'm afraid that even though I love him I was very resentful growing up.

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 02/07/2021 23:13

Thankfully my DD has no resentment towards her brother with additional needs but then none of our children dominate family life and she gets lots of 1-1 time, as they all do. My brother who died when I was 13 was disabled and I never once resented him either. Just absolutely adored him.
I think it’s a combination of how you’re raised and the family dynamic.

Nam3chang3r31 · 02/07/2021 23:17

My 3rd DC is amazing, he's a demanding so n so though. My only regret is the 10 year age gap. He is lonely. With the benefit of hindsight, I'd still have had 3 but with a much smaller gap. I thought it'd be easier than when the 2 older DC were young, it hasn't been. I had horrendous PND, I'm lucky to be here.

Sosososotired · 02/07/2021 23:20

I have huge age gaps between mine, 5-6 years between 1 and 2, and same again for 2-3. No regrets having a 3rd, I adore him! But I regret the gap, as I feel like I've had a pre-schooler all my adult life!

LittleRen · 02/07/2021 23:20

Gosh no regrets here I love it! I have three boys and I love it. It’s crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I think I have good age gaps though - 2 years and 2.5 years, you will find the early years hard work with that gap but it will get easier.

LittleRen · 02/07/2021 23:21

Also are you financially comfortable? Everything gets a lot more expensive and I think I would have thought twice had we not been comfortable and able to afford the big car, holiday and just general child expenses!!

sunshineandshowers40 · 02/07/2021 23:27

Love my third DC and felt complete as soon as he was born. Wish they all got on better though!

Original poster
alongwiththesunshine · 02/07/2021 23:28

@MrsJuliaGulia

How far along are you, what will the age gap be? Do you want a termination?
It be 4 years between dc1 and dc3 and 11 months between dc2 and dc3 Blush

I don't want a termination but I also don't know if I'm just in baby haze because ds2 is a dream baby and sleeps through and bf every 4 hours.. where as ds1 didn't sleep through till last week and very demanding since he came out! So I'm thinking (oh this isn't so bad lmao)

OP posts:
Diversion · 02/07/2021 23:31

Wanted a third so much and then a fourth arrived later. I wouldnt change a thing. Good job I had 4 C sections though or I might have been tempted .........

Timeforanewnamemethinks · 02/07/2021 23:36

We are all achingly in love with DC3. We have 4DC but there is something so special about number 3.

Sometimeswinning · 03/07/2021 00:22

Dc3 is an absolute nightmare. Rude and really annoying! Do I regret her? No way. I'd have always thought what if , had I not decided to have her.