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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Money money

41 replies

Tomuch · 01/07/2021 19:45

Ds is 14. He gets 5.00 a week. I know this is not much. Some times money can be bad sometimes good. But 5.00 is an amount I always know I will have . At the moment I have things to pay out for and a couple of birthdays coming up. I have other children as well. Anyway ds14 broke his phone twice in a month each time it's cost me 45.00 to get fixed. Which I paid today for the 2nd time. So he still thinks he should get his 5.00 pounds. So that would have been 100 he's had in a month. I know its only 5.00 but I feel that he should not be asking for it since I spent money fixing his phone. I explained this to him. But he keeps saying but you said I can have 5.00 every Thursday. It's making me feel guilty.

OP posts:
ErickBroch · 01/07/2021 20:49

Jeez! Some people have no idea what it's like to be low income. £50 a month per child - wowzer Grin I never got pocket money, I would just get given bits here and there to see friends/cinema etc. If he broke his phone twice in one month by being careless then no I would not be giving him any pocket money. YANBU!

Lesartisansetlessansculottes · 01/07/2021 20:52

Wow, the lack of awareness of some on here is amazing. Not everybody has a lot of money! I embarrassed for those who think that £5 is "not enough", you need to really look around you bit more.
OP, YANBU, he needs to learn the value of money, he owes you for his phone, if anything.

irregularegular · 01/07/2021 21:05

I compromise on lost/broken stuff. I get them to pay about half. I want them to bear some of the cost to given them more sense of responsibility. But don't want to be overly harsh as I can afford it far more easily than them.

And I think £5 per week for spending money is plenty! My 17 year old still only gets £25 per month from us. I'm about to increase it to £50 but he needs to buy non-school clothes with that too. He earns some extra money. I think that about the age they might want more money for going out independently etc is also about the age they can earn some money themselves, and that is a good thing. And we are a pretty high earning household so could easily afford more.

Babyroobs · 01/07/2021 21:10

@irregularegular

I compromise on lost/broken stuff. I get them to pay about half. I want them to bear some of the cost to given them more sense of responsibility. But don't want to be overly harsh as I can afford it far more easily than them.

And I think £5 per week for spending money is plenty! My 17 year old still only gets £25 per month from us. I'm about to increase it to £50 but he needs to buy non-school clothes with that too. He earns some extra money. I think that about the age they might want more money for going out independently etc is also about the age they can earn some money themselves, and that is a good thing. And we are a pretty high earning household so could easily afford more.

Yes my 16 year old dd gets £50 a month but needs to buy some clothes etc and use some for going into town with friends , friends birthday presents etc.
Blinkingheckythump · 01/07/2021 21:20

Well I never got a penny in pocket money and very rarely would I be allowed to go to the cinema or do anything with my friends that cost money. I survived. I think a fiver a week plus money for trips out is more than sufficient. If he wants more money he needs to get a job.
I'd be expecting him to pay for half of the second repair and be aware any future ones are fully covered by his pocket money

Darbs76 · 01/07/2021 21:31

To the poster who said £5 is not enough, of course it it. He’s not buying clothes and shoes out of this budget. He could wash cars and get a paper round if he’s desperate for money. My 13yr old daughter doesn’t get any regular pocket money yet, I was going to start this month but then remembered how much she costs me in her Uber eats deliveries now and then so decided against it. Plus she’s never asked for pocket money. She’s got her own money and a bank card but never spends any

Beautiful3 · 01/07/2021 21:34

I would stop the 5 per week until the 2nd repair is.paid off. He doesn't need sweets and drinks from the shop.

sashagabadon · 01/07/2021 21:35

A fiver a week is fine. I give my son £20 a month so the same. I gave my dd £2 a week at 14 until she complained and demanded an uplift!

savvy7 · 01/07/2021 21:46

My DS of 14 "gets" £5 a week but he never spends a penny of it. Hence it just gets written on a.whiteboard as we were accumulating too much cash in the house, with birthday and Christmas money etc. You're doing fine OP - some kids are materially spoilt.

Giraffapuses · 01/07/2021 23:17

I'd pay for the phone twice and give him the £5. I'd do this because:

  1. Teenagers tend to be extremely attached to their phones. It was probably a genuine accident. I suppose it might be different if he breaks stuff all the time.
  2. It's unlikely to teach him the value of money. If you can afford to fix the phone and give him £5 he probably knows this which will make this a punishment not a lesson. Its more likely to give him a cookie jar mentality about money: ' I was only allowed two cookies growing up, and now nobody can stop me so I'll eat the whole jar'.
  1. If he is demanding and ungrateful scarcity won't make him less so. Do you know anyone made more grateful by scarcity? Being grateful and recognising the value of money comes from empathy for other people who have less than you. You can't cosplay poverty to teach financial responsibility. You have to talk to people who live that as their day to day.

If you can't afford thr £5 that's a different matter though.

HavingMycake · 28/09/2021 06:59

Hmm, I think the next time you have to fix things that they broke whether intentional or not, you have to make it clear that the fixing cost is coming out of his pocket money and now he is in debt and need to clear that. it's a good way to make them understand about responsiblities and money. I also found that teaching them as early as possible about money could have made them more understanding. If you don't know where to start, this video on money and kids may also interest you . Her channel on YT also talks about budgeting and personal finance for lay people.

MoreStuffingMatron · 28/09/2021 07:05

Reduce pocket money to £2,50 a week until he’s paid for 2nd phone breakage.

GloomAndDoom · 28/09/2021 07:08

How did he break it twice?
There's no way I could afford to fix it twice in a month!

I think he should still get his £5 but you shouldn't have fixed it the 2nd time and made him wait til next pay day at least.

GloomAndDoom · 28/09/2021 07:09

Unless he's being bullied and they did it

PhobosGrunt · 21/01/2022 16:17

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Rosebuud · 21/01/2022 16:21

Can you explain how he broke it please? That’s really going to dictate the answer.

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