One child families

[Bell45]

I’m just wondering if there are any other of us out there… Feels not from what I see. When we settled I moved to the city my husband grew up and through general change in life and growing up I kind of drifted from friends I had in my younger years. We slowly started to have little in common too as years went by. Now I find myself in a place where everyone went to the same school, friendship clicks and to add to it feel even more isolated as we appear to be odd ones out with only one child… Whilst my daughter had friends and we ‘know’ their parents we haven’t clicked with anyone, not for not trying but it’s like they’re not interested because they have their existing clicks. Just wondering if anyone else is out there like us or if we really are one of the odd few that exist!

I know plenty of families with only one child (I'm also an only child myself), including a few of dd's closest friends. I suspect though that this isn't why you are struggling to make friends as I can't see why anyone would care how many children you have.

I personally haven't really found other 'parent friends' I've particularly clicked with, even people I have known since dc were babies. They are nice enough and nothing wrong with them. But we don't have much in common just because we have children the same age. Most of my closest friends are ones from uni and work - incidentally, many of them are childfree (we have 2 dc). It sounds like you need to reach out to re-connect with old friends or find people you have something in common with, through work, hobbies, sport, etc.

We have one by choice and she’s in Uni so not a chance of another one.

I know plenty of one child families and two of my friends and my sister are childless by choice.

I think more and more women are seeing the trap that has been laid out for women who have children. It’s financial roulette at best and if you are a SAHM you are extremely financially vulnerable. Add to that the pension punishment of maternity leave and you have a few pretty good reasons to stick at one.

Where I live the man has far more power in the eyes of the law and many many women find themselves financially cut off after a split in a very expensive country.

I’ve seen women left homeless with little ones because their selfish arsehole ex cares more about punishing her than the welfare of his children. I wish I was exaggerating.

@mindutopia were you happy enough being an only child if you don’t mind me asking? I’m one of 5 so you would have thought I would have a tribe too but I was just so determined to make sure I could provide the best of my ability rather than strive for the 2.4 family… I do feel guilty she won’t have that but I try to tell myself she’s happy and hopefully won’t miss what she didn’t know

I know a few people with only one! My sister has only one and he’s 16 now, I have 4 and haven’t managed to click with any parents or make any parent friends, it’s nothing to do with how many kids you have

I don’t think this has anything to do with the amount of children you have. I moved from a city to a small village 3 years ago and I’m yet to meet a friend here despite having 5 DC. I think it’s hard to make friends as an adult.

We have one child although we seem to be in a large minority. We don't really have parent friends though and tend to spend our free time as a small family, so we don't seek out other families to spend time with. We book a lot of events in advance, sometimes they cost a bit and it's just easier to organise activities between ourselves. DD has plenty of time for social interaction with nursery and structured classes. So we might not appear to be interested in becoming parent friends with anyone but it has nothing to do with having an only child.

Since dd started school I’ve realised there are loads of one child families in her year, and - fingers crossed - some really lovely people we click with. Hope you find the same