To pull DS out of school

[Countdownto3]

To cut a long story short DS has had on/off friendships with 2 children for a couple of years. When they’re friends they’re good friends but when there are problems it turns into bullying. On one occasion one of the children hurt my DS and deliberately cut his arm which was dismissed as a scratch by the teacher. I had a meeting with the head teacher who agreed to keep them apart. It lasted 2 terms until they wanted to be friends again. Once again the 2 children have started on ds by name calling and making him cry, spreading rumours so everyone laughs at him and threatened him with physical violence. I am not happy with how the teacher dismisses it at all, she doesn’t seem interested if ds tells her or she just says to stay away from them which isn’t working. The children talk their way out of it and I know they have care plans in place so I believe they are pandered to a lot (evidence and confirmed by their parents so not assumption that they are favoured). It has got to the point now where I am so fed up with their treatment towards ds and how the school aren’t supporting him that I want to remove him from the school with immediate effect. Dp said I should arrange a meeting with the school to discuss what they will do about it before making any decisions, and also doesnt want ds to think he should be hiding away from them when they should be the ones to leave the school as would any child who is clearly bullying. Can anyone advise what I should do next please? Ds is crying and scared to go back to school I just don’t know how best to protect him. They are year 4. Thanks

Im not sure what age is year 4 as im in scotland so its different.

Have you emailed the school all your concerns and asked for it to be noted as i think you will find alot of schools will dodge making it official unless you ask. Once its been made official i think you will find it will be dealt with much more effectively.

However if one of my DCs were being bullied and if i felt i had done all i could but the school weren't supporting then i would not hesitate to move them our and write to the school body (not sure what its called in england) with my complaint and the reasons you felt you had to remove him.

Hope you get it sorted x

I posted a similar thread with some fantastic advice given back.
Put everything in writing.
Print out their bullying policy.
Go above the head if you don’t feel it is being dealt with.
Could you consider moving classes?

I have a very very similar situation with my DS in Primary school, it very difficult as he would keep going back to be friends with them. The school were never effective in dealing with it. We were on the waiting list for another school and he moved in Year 4. It was absolutely the best decision for him. He came on leaps and bounds.

Thank you all I am going to send an email to the headteacher asking for support to stop this continuing. If I’m not happy with her response I will make a formal complaint and remove him. I’m just very angry and upset he will have to be the one to leave when he hasn’t done anything wrong.

Year 4 is age 8-9 years

Good luck, Countdown. I'm glad to see you are taking it further.

I would have been tempted to take my child away from the school too. If you do not receive satisfactory response from the school and it doesn't stop, that is an option - as long as there is another, decent school nearby that implements a good anti-bullying programme.

We had to move schools for similar reasons in year 4 and, like the PP, it was the best thing we did for DS. His self esteem increased immediately and he’s such a different boy now. He’s back to the one I had in the holidays. I don’t think it’s an easy thing for a school to manage, but where he was didn’t seem to try at all.
Good luck. It’s so hard to see them sad. Bullying by friends is the hardest thing to explain to them.

Thank you all it helps to hear your stories although it’s sad that it seems to be so common. The worse thing is if it was the other way around ds would be severely punished for bullying children in the care system and with learning difficulties, however because it’s my ds it’s brushed under the carpet! I do get the impression his teacher doesn’t like him, but I can’t make accusations that this is the reason the children are allowed to behave like this, although I suspect it is.