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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nursery advice

11 replies

Souther · 01/07/2021 14:31

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable so would like some opinions.

So currently my husband is stuck abroad

I'm working.

And I've got family members helping with school pick up and drop off.

My 3 year old goes to a nursery just for the morning sessions.

Yesterday when he picked her up the nursery worker- not her Key Worker- apparently had a real face on. She told her Uncle that she had hit another child. And as per usual when someone else picks up the kid you don't get the full story.
She also told him that the parents had complained about this.
So obviously he tells child we don't hit and came home.

He only told me today around 10. And again hes picked her up today. The didnt say anything today.

But there just seems something a bit off about the whole thing.

My daughter never hits other children. In the whole 6 months they've only said it once. And on asking her she had been pushed first and then pushed back.

Obviously it's not good to hit others and that's what we teach her.

At the start of the week I gave notice to the nursery. That she will be going to a different nursery starting September. Its connected to the Primary school her sister goes to, so much better for us.

I dont know who it was who told her Uncle but from his description it sound like the nursery manager who told him yesterday.

Her Uncle said he was first in line to pick up the kids- so how has another parent complained if they havnt even picked up the children yet?- unless they rang them at home and it was very severe violence with bleeding or something- but I think this is very unlikely.

This morning when I dropped her off at nursery the Manager was sat out and I felt as though she was avoiding my gaze and didnt make eye-contact.

Anyway now I'm worried that somehow the fact that I've decided to give notice is going to affect how they treat her.

Theres only a couple of weeks left so will see how it goes but was wondering on your thoughts. Is it worth speaking to them tomorrow. When I drop her off?

OP posts:
MadeOfStarStuff · 01/07/2021 14:46

As you said, it doesn’t sound like you’re getting the full story so definitely speak to them. Not in a “my child never hits how dare you say that” way, just to find out what actually happened. If parents had complained I would assume it had happened the previous day unless some parents pick up earlier in the day.

Lots of young children go through phases of hitting (or biting which is probably worse!), nursery should be perfectly used to dealing with it appropriately both with the children and both sets of parents.

Souther · 01/07/2021 15:06

No I dont have the full information. But her Uncle didnt ask the right questions.

Just after a very good 5 months it seems like a bitter end with our relationship with the nursery. I know they are struggling with getting enough kids for next year.

OP posts:
Sunshinebunshine · 01/07/2021 15:11

But you could have asked questions this morning? I woke have done it that way. But I don't blame them for telling her uncle... He picked her up? So it makes sense. And sometimes children do so one offs

Souther · 01/07/2021 15:21

Her uncle didnt tell me until after I'd dropped her off. I was already at work by then

OP posts:
MadeOfStarStuff · 01/07/2021 17:33

It doesn’t have to sour the relationship, just explain you got half a story from her uncle so could they please tell you the whole story. Kids don’t stay in nursery forever, people’s circumstances change and they give notice for all kinds of reasons, so I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion they’re making up lies about your child just because you gave notice!

shouldistop · 01/07/2021 17:42

My daughter never hits other children.

My friend says that about her son who hits my son every time her back is turned....

Anyway, just ask the nursery now what happened the other day. Do you really think the nursery would be making it up? It seems unlikely.

RaginaFalangi · 01/07/2021 17:48

You need to get the full story.
I work in a nursery and if a child has hurt another child where they've left a mark or scratch etc on them then we write an incident informing both parents of the situation (also not allowed to tell parents who hurt them or who they hurt) so you would've had a form to sign if your dd had hurt someone.
Also don't say to them your child never hits because all children do at one point.

emilyfrost · 01/07/2021 18:10

You seem very dramatic about this despite not even speaking to them yet Confused

You don’t have the full story, from your uncle or your child. Just politely and nicely ask them next time you see them (or ring them).

CanofCant · 01/07/2021 18:26

Why didn't you phone to clarify what had happened after your uncle first mentioned it?

Souther · 01/07/2021 20:57

@CanofCant

Why didn't you phone to clarify what had happened after your uncle first mentioned it?
I've been working til 6 today. Probably did have time at lunch but didnt want to rush this.

I'll speak to them tomorrow when I drop her off.

OP posts:
BlueSurfer · 01/07/2021 21:00

Just drop them a email if you are busy or else at drop off ask for a chat when you pick up so it’s prearranged.

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